


The Royal When

by hopefulminty



Series: When... [3]
Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: AU of an AU, Alternate Universe, College, F/F, F/M, Family, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Gen, M/M, Royalty, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-27
Updated: 2020-11-28
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:21:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 43,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23869711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hopefulminty/pseuds/hopefulminty
Summary: The whole thing was ludicrous.He didn’t want to be a king. He didn’t want to be a prince.He didn’t even want to be a camp counselor.It made him laugh to think about how upset he’d been when his father had signed him up for that.If only he’d known how much worse it could get.An AU of an AU that has been inspired byThe Princess Diaries. Splits from the primeWhen...universe after freshman year.
Relationships: Alana Beck & Evan Hansen, Evan Hansen & Heidi Hansen, Evan Hansen & Jared Kleinman, Evan Hansen & Zoe Murphy, Evan Hansen/Connor Murphy, Jared Kleinman/Zoe Murphy
Series: When... [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1542145
Comments: 22
Kudos: 74





	1. The Day After Freshman Year

**Author's Note:**

> My quarantine-related meltdown is now causing me to keep cycling through all my comfort food movies over and over again. This story exists because I’ve watched _The Princess Diaries_ movies three times in the last ten days. (I think. Time no longer exists, so it’s hard to tell.)
> 
> At some point during my third viewing, I decided I wanted to borrow the concept and write a story about it. I don’t really have the energy to create yet another DEH universe right now, so my idea’s being woven into the _When..._ series. 
> 
> Which means this is an AU of an AU. It splits from the prime _When..._ universe after freshman year. Everything in the first ten chapters of _When Evan Met Connor_ and _When Connor Met Evan_ took place before the events of this story. 
> 
> This story probably will not be a realistic portrayal of modern-day royalty because everything I know about that comes from pop culture and my Kate Middleton-obsessed aunt. If that changes, it’s probably because I fell into a 4 AM Wikipedia spiral and decided to temporarily turn my fanfic into a book report.

Evan rubbed his eyes as soon as he opened them. It took him a second to remember where he was and why.

He was home. He was in his bed at home. The semester was over. His finals were done. His papers were in. He didn’t even have to think about studying for three whole months.

It was an amazing feeling until it wasn’t.

He had to get up. He couldn’t stay in bed all day and mess around on his phone between naps. He didn’t have time for that.

He had to unpack. 

Unpack and pack again.

He had less than 24 hours until he had to leave for Colorado. 

The thought of that made him want to dive under his covers and hide until it was time to go back to school.

Hiding was not an option.

Locking himself in his room and pretending the world didn’t exist was not an option.

He had to get up.

That was easier said than done. He was tired and his bed was warm and everything felt peaceful and calm while he stayed in it.

He allowed himself to revel in the quiet for another minute before getting up. He regretted that decision before he’d even made it to the stairs.

He should’ve let himself soak up more of the quiet. He didn’t know when he’d have the chance again.

His dad’s house wasn’t quiet. It wasn’t as loud as his dorm had been, but it wasn’t quiet. 

And it wasn’t familiar.

He didn’t know what to expect. He’d never stayed there for more than a week. 

He pushed that thought away. If he thought about that too much, he’d talk himself out of going. 

He’d try to talk himself out of going. He’d feel guilty if he wasted a plane ticket. 

That wouldn’t stop him from considering it though. If his thoughts kept going in the direction they were heading, he’d end up spending the day in bed and packing at the last second. His mother would have to ship his things to him because he wouldn’t have time to pack correctly. He wouldn’t take enough clothes and he’d forget things like his toothbrush and his night guard and...

He was spiraling.

He pressed his forehead to make himself stop.

He took a breath and tried to clear his mind.

And then he heard the voices.

Plural. As in more than one.

His heart skipped a beat because he knew them. He knew them well. 

It was like he’d stepped into a time portal and been sent back to the second grade.

His parents were arguing in the kitchen.

He poked his head around the corner long enough to confirm that they were arguing in person. 

And then he sat on the stairs because they were.

He wondered what that meant. He wondered why his father was there. 

What possible reason could his father have for flying across the country the day before he was supposed to come see him?

He wondered if his parents still thought he was scared to fly alone. He wondered if there was a part of him that was.

He pushed that thought away.

He focused on what they were saying.

“You have no right, Dan. No right to show up like this and tell me-”

“My mother’s dying.”

The room fell silent.

The house fell silent.

Evan’s stomach dropped.

He wasn’t sure why. It wasn’t like he was close to his father’s mother.

He couldn’t even remember the last time he’d seen her. She’d come to one of his birthday parties. His sixth, possibly?

He had a very vague memory of a woman with short silver hair who liked tea and smelled like peppermint.

The thought of her dying didn’t fill him with sorrow.

He felt guilty thinking that, but it was true. 

He’d feel bad for his dad and that was it.

He wondered if he’d be expected to attend the funeral.

He probably would.

He cringed when he thought about that.

He leaned forward when he realized his parents were talking again.

Talking, not arguing.

The bomb his father had dropped must have sucked all of the fight out of his mother.

He couldn’t make out anything they were saying.

He grabbed the railing and swung himself around so he could press his ear against the wall.

And then he remembered why he shouldn’t do things like that.

He was not coordinated, to say the least.

He lost his balance and just barely managed to avoid cracking his head open on the floor.

The house fell silent again.

His mother poked her head out of the kitchen. She smiled when she saw him. “Evan.”

“I fell,” Evan muttered.

She ran across the room to help him stand. “You’re up early.”

Evan nodded vaguely. “I heard voices.”

She glanced over her shoulder. “Your father’s here.”

Evan blinked like that was brand new information. “He is?”

He cringed when he realized how fake that sounded.

His mother didn’t notice. Either he was a better actor than he’d thought or her mind was on something else.

Or both. Possibly both.

Evan chewed his lip. “Why is he here? Am I not...”

He didn’t bother finishing that thought.

Colorado was still on.

One look at his mother confirmed that.

“He wanted to talk to you before you leave.”

“He couldn’t do that on the phone?” Evan laughed.

Heidi squeezed her eyes shut. “There’s been a change in plans.” She put a hand up to stop Evan before he could get too excited. “A slight change in plans.”

His father appeared in the doorway before he could ask what that meant. His face lit up when he spotted Evan. “Oh, good, you’re up.”

His smile turned triumphant when he aimed it at Heidi. “Your mother said you wouldn’t be up for hours.”

Evan couldn’t help noticing how that made his mother twitch. “I’m, uh, I’m still on my finals schedule, I guess.”

Dan rubbed his hands together excitedly. “How does it feel to be-”

“We had an agreement,” Heidi hissed.

Evan blinked at her tone. And at her expression. It was like she couldn’t contain herself. 

He couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen her like that.

Or, actually, he could.

It was right before his parents decided to get divorced.

He had a feeling that wasn’t a coincidence.

“Things change,” Dan murmured. He perked up when his eyes met Evan’s. “Evan’s changed. Look at him. He’s all grownup now.”

Heidi put a hand on her hip. “Are you seriously suggesting I don’t know my son-”

“Our son,” Dan corrected.

Heidi rolled her eyes. “Our son. Are you seriously suggesting that I don’t know him because he got up before noon for once?”

“You said he was going to sleep all day.” Dan gestured at Evan. “Does this look like someone who’s still asleep?”

“My point still stands. He doesn’t-”

“You don’t know what he wants.”

Heidi’s hands balled into fists. An exasperated laugh escaped from her mouth.

“He’s old enough to decide things on his own.”

“I know him,” Heidi snapped. “I know my son.”

“Our son,” Dan coughed.

Heidi’s eyes flashed. “I know him better than you do. I know this isn’t something he would even be remotely-”

“My mother’s dying.”

“That doesn’t change anything.”

“It does. It changes everything.”

Heidi pursed her lips. “We had an agreement.”

“21. I know.” Dan sighed at the ceiling. “Things change.”

“They don’t have to change for him. Not yet. Not unless you’re dying too.”

Evan’s head snapped back and forth so quickly it was a wonder he didn’t get whiplash. “What are you talking about?”

He regretted the question immediately.

He regretted it when he saw the way it made his father smile.

He really regretted it when he saw the way it made his mother deflate.

“He has to know,” Dan insisted. “The press will come after him either way.”

“The press?” Evan took a step back. “What?”

“Do they really have to know about him?” Heidi demanded. “You have two other kids. An heir and a spare. You don’t need Evan.”

“They already know about him,” Dan whispered. He closed his eyes for a moment. “Or they did. There was an announcement when he was born.”

Heidi’s mouth opened and closed several times. “But you said-”

“I knew what you’d say! I didn’t want to have that fight, not while you were...” Dan smiled sheepishly. “Do you remember what you were like after giving birth?”

Heidi narrowed her eyes.

Evan’s legs felt weak. He sat back down.

His parents didn’t notice. They were too busy glaring at each other to see the way his head was spinning.

He tried to put the pieces together, but they didn’t fit. 

They didn’t fit with anything he knew about himself or his parents or his life.

They didn’t fit with anything he thought he knew.

Heidi’s face softened when her eyes landed on him. “Sweetie...”

“What...” Evan cleared his throat when he realized how hoarse he sounded. “What...”

His second attempt was a failure too. He hugged himself and decided not to try again.

Dan sat on the step below him. “Have you ever heard of a country named Zenovia?”

Evan shook his head. He scooted over when his mother climbed up to join him. 

“It’s a small country near France. Your grandmother’s the queen.”

Evan let out a sound that was somewhere between a laugh and a huff. “Um.”

He looked at his mother for clarification.

She smiled weakly. “It’s true.”

He whipped around to face his father. “And you’re just telling me this now?”

“We were going to wait until you turned 21,” Dan said. 

Heidi rolled her eyes at Dan’s expression. “There wasn’t a reason for you to know. It didn’t mean anything. Your life is here. Your father’s life is here. Your grandmother-”

“It’s new,” Dan sighed. “Your grandmother just became queen last month. She hasn’t even been coronated yet.”

“This was never supposed to happen,” Heidi said. “She was never supposed to become queen.”

Dan nodded stiffly. “My mother’s the youngest of four. She moved to the U.S. when she was in her twenties. She never expected to take the throne. Her brother Clem became king when their father died. He didn’t have any kids before he...”

Evan couldn’t focus while his father rambled on about their family’s history.

About their so-called history.

It had to be a joke.

Evan’s eyes darted back and forth as he tried to figure out what the joke was.

Because there had to be one.

There was no way his parents were being serious. 

“The coronation’s in July,” Dan continued. “I’m flying over next week. Lisa’s bringing the kids as soon as they finish school.”

“Next week?” Evan gasped. “So, does that mean I’m not...”

“You can meet me there,” Dan nodded. “There’s no point in packing twice, right?”

Evan blinked at the wall. “Mom...”

Heidi squeezed his arm. “I know this is a lot to-”

“This is a joke, right?” Evan chuckled. “It’s like a...” His eyes bounced around wildly. “Is this why you’re so obsessed with those Hallmark movies about princes?”

Dan burst out laughing.

“I wouldn’t say I’m obsessed,” Heidi sniffed. “They’re entertaining in a calming sort of way.”

Evan shook his head. “This is a joke. You’re...”

They weren’t joking.

He closed his eyes when he saw the way they were looking at him.

They were serious. They were seriously telling him the truth.

He couldn’t stay there. 

He pulled himself up. He didn’t accept his mother’s help. He shook her off and ran up the stairs to his room.

No one chased after him.

He wasn’t sure if he was relieved or not.

He threw himself on his bed and stared at the ceiling until he decided to do the obvious.

He pinched himself.

It hurt.

He reached for his phone. He was about to search for Zenovia when it started to ring. 

The sound made him startle so violently he threw it across the bed. Connor was in mid-sentence by the time he pressed the phone to his ear. 

“-always like that, you know.”

“Yeah,” Evan nodded emphatically, even though he hadn’t the faintest clue what he was agreeing with. “Have you ever heard of Zenovia?”

He regretted the question before he’d finished asking it.

He dove for his laptop. He had to see what kind of results Zenovia produced before Connor could look it up.

“Zenovia?” Connor repeated. “Is that with a Z or a S?”

Evan blinked at the screen because he wasn’t sure. He didn’t know how to spell the name of the country that he was supposedly...

He pushed that thought away.

He wasn’t ready to put those pieces together.

He checked his email on a whim. 

There it was. A confirmation for his flight to Zenovia.

“Z as in zoo.”

He slapped his forehead repeatedly. 

Words. He really had to learn when to stop using them.

“Isn’t that that smoothie place on Elm?”

Evan forced himself to laugh. “Yeah.”

He typed “Zenovia” into the search bar and clicked on the Wikipedia page.

It took a second for his brain to catch up to that.

Zenovia was real.

It was really real.

It had a Wikipedia page and everything.

He slammed his laptop shut like doing that would make a difference.

“Here it is,” Connor said. “Zentopia. That’s what it’s called, not... whatever it was you said.”

“Oh, I, uh, I knew it was something like that.”

“Okay, so what about it? Do you want to go get smoothies or something? I thought you had to pack today.”

“Change of plans,” Evan breathed. “I’m not leaving until next week.”

“Oh, so-”

Evan jumped when someone knocked on his door. “I have to go.”

He hung up without waiting for a response. “Come in!”

The door opened slowly.

His mother poked her head in. “I come in peace.”

Evan hugged himself. “I’m not mad.”

She gave him a look that suggested she didn’t buy that for a second.

“Confused but not mad.”

Heidi nodded slowly. She sat on the edge of his bed. “I sent him away.”

“Dad?”

Heidi nodded again. “I told him he’s done enough damage for today.”

“I’m not mad!” Evan insisted. He nodded at his laptop. “He already got me a ticket to Zenovia.”

Heidi stared at her hands. “You don’t have to go.”

“I don’t?”

“You can stay here. What are they going to do? Kidnap you and throw you in the dungeon?”

“There’s a dungeon?” Evan blinked at the wall. “Queen. Castle. Dungeon. Right.”

He couldn’t wrap his mind around that. It didn’t sound real. 

It didn’t feel real. 

His father was an American. He had a job. A paying job. A paying job that didn’t pay enough for him to pay child support the way he should. 

There wasn’t anything princely about his father.

He couldn’t even imagine his father wearing a Burger King crown.

He tried to imagine his grandmother wearing one. A crown crown. Not a Burger King crown. 

It would’ve been easier if he could actually remember what she looked like.

He couldn’t though. He couldn’t because he didn’t know anything about her. He didn’t know anything about his father’s side of the family. Not really anyway. 

There had never been a reason for him to know about them.

He’d never cared enough to ask.

He’d never even thought to ask.

It would’ve killed his mother if he had.

He only knew the basics.

“Dad grew up here,” Evan muttered. He lifted his head when he realized he was thinking out loud.

Heidi nodded. “We went to high school together.”

Evan felt like that was something he’d known at one point. “And you’re telling me he’s really from Zenovia?”

“His family is. His mother moved here when she was 23. It's been her home, their home, ever since.”

“And that was it? She moved here and, just like that, she was done with Zenovia?”

She was done until she ended up becoming its queen. 

Evan decided not to mention that part.

Heidi did a so-so wave with her hand. “She’s been back a few times. For her father’s funeral, her brother’s coronation, things like that.”

“And Dad-”

“She kept him out of all that. He’s just a name to them. So are you.”

Evan’s hands twitched against his thighs. “Dad has a sister, doesn’t he?”

Heidi smiled knowingly. “A younger sister.”

“So that means...”

“He’s next in line for the throne.”

“And I’m...”

Heidi nodded slightly.

Evan choked out a laugh. “No.”

“You can say no.”

“That’s an option?”

Of course, it was. 

She expected him to say no.

The pieces finally clicked together in his head.

“You think I should say no.”

“I think you should think about it.”

“Think about saying no?” Evan chuckled.

“Think about whether you want to move to Europe and rule a country.”

She said it like the idea was ludicrous. 

Which it was.

Evan knew that.

The whole thing was ludicrous. 

He didn’t want to be a king. He didn’t want to be a prince.

He didn’t even want to be a camp counselor. 

It made him laugh to think about how upset he’d been when his father had signed him up for that.

If only he’d known how much worse it could get.

“I’m going to make waffles,” Heidi decided. She squeezed his arm before she got up.

He opened his laptop as soon as she was gone.

The page about Zenovia popped back up.

He closed it because he wasn’t ready to read that. 

He didn’t think he’d ever be ready to read that.

His phone buzzed.

_Where’d we land on the whole smoothie thing? Because I really need to get out of this house._

Evan stared at his phone. 

He wanted to go.

Not because of the smoothies. 

Because of Connor.

He wanted to see Connor.

He wanted to tell Connor what he’d found out.

He wanted to see how hard Connor would laugh when he heard his best friend was two heartbeats away from becoming king of a small European country.

He couldn’t though.

He couldn’t bring himself to tell anyone.

Because it was too weird and raw and there was a part of him that still thought it was a really elaborate joke. 

_Can’t._

Evan decided to leave it at that.

The dreaded dots popped up and disappeared.

Connor had decided not to say whatever he’d been thinking about saying.

Evan could live with that. 

He jumped when his mother poked her head back in. 

“You didn’t hear me?”

Evan shook his head. 

“Breakfast is ready.” She shook her head at him when he didn’t move. “I’m sorry. Do you expect me to serve you in here, your majesty?”

Evan stumbled to his feet.

His mother beamed as she wrapped an arm around his shoulders. “Good, because you aren’t royalty yet.”


	2. Summer After Freshman Year - June

“Why 21 though? What made you choose 21? Was it so you could get me wasted before springing this on me? Why not 18? I became an adult when I turned 18. Legally an adult. Technically but not really, I guess, since I was still in high school and you still had grounding powers and do you still have grounding powers? Does the fact that I’m... you know. Does that change things? Can I have you thrown in a dungeon if you try to ground me? Not that I would have you thrown in a dungeon! I wouldn’t do that. I’m just saying I could buy cigarettes when I turned 18. I could buy lottery tickets and get married and die for my country and vote, but I couldn’t know that I was a prince of some kind? Why...”

Evan sucked in a breath when he saw how tightly his mother was gripping the steering wheel. “Why 21?”

The car fell silent.

His body felt drained once the burst of panic was gone.

His mother didn’t say a word.

That wasn’t a surprise.

He hadn’t actually expected an answer to that question. He hadn’t actually wanted an answer to that question. He’d started ranting because of his nerves. Because focusing on that was better than the alternative. It was better than thinking about his flight and his trip and everything that came with it.

The silence annoyed him anyway. He slumped down in his seat and glared at the windshield.

He closed his eyes until his mother turned the radio off. 

The silence made the wipers sound eerily loud.

“It’s really coming down,” Heidi said. “I bet they’re going to delay your flight.”

Evan shrugged because it didn’t matter. 

He wasn’t in a rush to get to Zenovia. He wasn’t in a rush to go anywhere.

His mother glanced at him quickly. “We can still turn around.”

And just like that, the panic was back.

“Why 21?”

Heidi closed her eyes and sighed. “Your father wanted to tell you when you turned 18.”

“Then why-”

“Because he didn’t know you. He didn’t... I didn’t think it would be a good idea to spring this on you when you were...”

Evan stared at his hands.

“You had so much going on that year. You were applying to college and getting ready to graduate and...”

“Dr. Sherman thought it would be a bad idea,” Evan guessed.

“Dr. Sherman doesn’t know about this. You think I would tell him and not tell you?” Heidi shook her shoulders and tilted her head to see what was going on in front of them. “You were... There was something... I couldn’t put my finger on it, but there was something...”

There was something off about him that year.

Evan didn’t say that out loud.

Neither did she.

“I thought it would be better to wait until you were older,” Heidi continued. 

“Until I was 21,” Evan nodded.

“It was as good an age as any. Your father agreed because I didn’t give him a choice.” 

Evan put a hand out to catch himself when his mother suddenly slammed on the brakes. She let out a series of noises that may or may not have been a stream of curses. It was hard to tell when the wipers were going crazy and the rain was pouring and the sirens were wailing. 

Sirens. As in more than one. As in at least three.

Heidi shook her head and put the car in park. “There’s an accident up ahead.”

Evan nodded. He’d come to that conclusion on his own. He checked his phone. “My flight’s been pushed back.”

Heidi nodded vaguely. She craned her neck to see what was happening. “No one’s moving.”

Evan’s phone buzzed. 

_Don’t forget to bring me back a rock._

Evan pocketed the phone without responding.

His mother picked up on that right away. She raised her eyebrows at him. “Have you told him yet?”

Evan shook his head.

“I didn’t think so.”

Evan whipped around to face her. “You haven’t said anything, have you?”

Heidi shook her head. “It’s not my place to tell.”

“Don’t. Don’t say anything. Not until I...”

Evan shrugged because he wasn’t sure if he was ever going to tell Connor.

He couldn’t even begin to imagine how that conversation would go. He could only imagine the ending. The laughter. There would be so much laughter.

And there was a very real chance Connor would think he’d lost his mind.

“You should tell him,” Heidi said. “Your father told us when he found out. It made us laugh.”

“It did?” 

Heidi smiled at the memory. “It was different back then, of course. He wasn’t first in line for the throne. It was just one of those things. We were more impressed by the fact that Oliver’s dad owned a sandwich shop. We could get free chips whenever we wanted.”

She grinned when their eyes met. “That didn’t stop us from calling your dad ‘your majesty’ for the rest of the year, of course. He was voted Most Likely to Become King. It’s in our senior yearbook and everything. We created the category just for him.”

Her eyes widened suddenly. “That’s going to go viral, isn’t it? Someone’s going to put it on the internet and it’s going to go viral.” She shook her head dazedly. “They’re going to put my picture up too because of you.”

“The one where your hair’s all puffy?” Evan smirked when she pretended to glare. “The one where you look like you just stepped out of a Madonna video?”

He slid down in his seat when his brain took that a step further.

They were going to put his picture up too. They were going to interview his classmates and get fake, generic quotes about how he was nice and smart and well-liked. Or they’d uncover the truth. That no one remembered him. That no one knew who he was. 

No one except Connor and Jared and...

Jared. 

Jared was definitely going to talk to anyone who wanted to talk to him. He would talk even if no one asked. He’d probably initiate the interview. He’d track down a reporter and offer to spill everything he knew about Evan.

Evan’s heart skipped a beat.

The mood inside the car shifted. Evan didn’t need to look at his mother to know she felt it too.

She was worried.

He knew she was worried.

She didn’t think he understood what he was getting himself into. She didn’t think he had processed it yet.

She was worried that he wasn’t talking about it. She thought he was retreating into himself and shutting people out.

And maybe he was.

It was hard to tell.

“You’re going to need all the friends you can get,” Heidi said softly. “When this blows up, you’re going to need people on your side.”

“It’s not going to blow up,” Evan laughed. “Zenovia’s tiny. No one’s going to care that...”

People would care. It was the kind of thing people would care about for a minute or two.

It had all the makings of a _People_ magazine cover story. 

“Connor’s going to Europe soon,” Heidi reminded him. “Maybe you two can meet up and...”

She stopped talking when she saw his expression. “I’m not saying you have to invite him over. You could meet somewhere for lunch. Maybe do some sightseeing. Make sure you do that either way. Don’t let your father keep you trapped in the palace.”

She snorted when she heard herself.

They both did.

Evan’s phone buzzed again. 

His father had sent him a picture of the guards who would be picking him up at the airport.

Because he was flying commercial.

Because the royal jet wasn’t available.

Because that was a thing he had to wrap his mind around.

His father’s family had a royal jet.

His mother’s eyes darted to the right long enough to see what he was staring at. “More cousins?”

Evan shook his head. “Guards. They’re picking me up from the airport.”

So he didn’t get kidnapped and held for ransom. 

He didn’t say that out loud.

Neither did she.

“Do you want me to quiz you again?” Heidi asked brightly.

Evan closed his eyes and shook his head.

“It’s okay if you haven’t memorized everything. They can’t seriously expect you to remember all those names.”

Evan forced himself to nod even though he knew they did. He knew the dossier his father had sent him wasn’t just something to keep him occupied on the plane.

“They’re going to know me,” Evan reminded her. “They’re going to know who I am the second they see me.”

“The bastard son from America,” Heidi grinned. “Your reputation precedes you.”

“I’m not...” Evan pressed his lips together. “You and Dad were married, so I’m not...”

“It was a joke.”

Evan wrinkled his nose. He didn’t think it had been a funny joke.

Neither did she, judging from her expression. “We can still turn around.”

Evan sighed heavily. “No. It’s fine.”

“You know they won’t actually throw you in the dungeon if you decide to blow them off, right?”

Evan forced himself to smile. “It’s fine. I’ve never been to Europe. I’ve never even left the country. This will be like a... you know. An adventure or something.”

He cringed when he heard how fake that sounded.

His mother noticed. She definitely noticed.

She didn’t say a word.

The flight to Zenovia was fast and slow and stressful.

Evan didn’t sleep.

He didn’t think he did anyway. He never remembered falling asleep, but there were gaps of time that could not be accounted for.

Which probably meant he’d dozed off a few times. It wasn’t like there was anyone he could ask.

That was the one good thing about flying on the palace’s dime. He didn’t have to spend nine hours stuck between two people who didn’t understand the meaning of personal space. He had his own little pod to lounge in.

He spent most of the flight attempting to read his book. Attempting being the keyword. He did not have the attention span for that.

When that got old, he attempted to study the dossier his father had sent him.

He attempted to memorize it.

He needed to memorize it.

The more he looked at it, the more he felt like he was walking straight into the lion’s den, the more he wondered if he could use his princely powers to get the plane turned around.

The palace was smaller than he’d expected. The pictures he’d seen made it look enormous. In reality, it was the size of the local art museum. 

Not that that meant it was small or anything.

It definitely wasn’t small.

It just wasn’t the monstrous spectacle he’d been expecting.

Which was a relief until it wasn’t.

It was still the biggest, gaudiest, most elegant building he’d ever seen in person.

He tried not to let that show. He wasn’t sure if he was successful.

It was hard to tell what was going on behind the guards’ sunglasses. 

Lisa was waiting for him when he got out of the car. He blinked and looked around and then blinked again when he realized she was alone.

“Evan!” She opened her arms and hugged him before he knew what was happening. 

He awkwardly returned the hug. “Hi.”

They stared at each other for a minute.

It was weird. 

Evan couldn’t remember the last time he’d been alone with her. He was pretty sure it was a first.

Lisa gave him a smile that didn’t quite meet her eyes. “Your father asked me to get you settled in. He’s in a meeting right now.”

“Oh,” Evan muttered. 

“The kids and I just got here yesterday. They’re upstairs taking a nap.”

Evan’s brow furrowed at that. He didn’t know a lot about kids, but he didn’t think Liam and Ella were still in the nap-taking phase. 

“Jet lag,” Lisa murmured. “I feel like I’m going to pass out too.”

“Oh, yeah, me too,” Evan nodded. He glanced over his shoulder at the car. “Should I...”

His bags were already gone.

Lisa smiled knowingly. “It’s a lot to get used to.”

“Yeah,” Evan breathed.

“We’re glad you’re here. Your father was starting to think you weren’t going to come.” Lisa’s eyes flashed as she led him towards the palace. “Was it your mother? Dan thought she might be having a hard time letting you go.”

Evan scratched his neck and tried to look like that wasn’t the case, even though it was.

Sort of.

He’d pushed his flight back four times at his mother’s suggestion. She’d thought it would be a good idea for him to let things settle down a bit before he headed over. 

Part of him thought she’d been expecting him to change his mind about going, that it was one of those things he’d talk himself out of trying if he thought about it too much.

He hadn’t though.

And he wasn’t entirely sure why.

He froze in his tracks and let out a small gasp when his eyes caught up with his legs.

The inside was even more elegant than the outside.

And bigger. It felt bigger.

There was so much to take in he didn’t know where to start.

Lisa grinned like she got that. “I know, right?”

Her laughter echoed around the hall. “Your suite’s on the fourth floor. It’s right next to ours.”

“Okay,” Evan nodded. “Suite?”

Lisa pointed at the stairs. “Come on. I’ll show you.”

Evan just barely remembered to text his mom before he passed out. 

He slept for twelve hours. He slept straight through the night and woke up in a semi-dark, very large, totally unfamiliar room.

It was terrifying. 

It took him more than a minute to get his bearings.

And then he checked his phone because he didn’t know what else to do.

It was six o’clock in the morning. He wasn’t sure if he was allowed to roam the palace that early. He wasn’t sure if he was allowed to roam at all.

He sent his mother a picture of his room because she wanted to see what it looked like.

He told Ryan he was almost a hundred percent certain he hadn’t taken his lucky keychain by mistake, but he’d ask his mom to check just in case.

He promised Connor he’d bring him a really pretty rock.

And then he wondered what kind of rocks there were in Zenovia. 

He padded across the room and pulled back the shade and jumped when his phone started ringing.

Connor was calling him.

He blinked when he saw that because it was 6 AM and Connor was not a morning person, to say the least.

And then he remembered the time difference and did the math and realized it was midnight back home and 10 PM in Colorado, which meant it was a perfectly acceptable time for Connor to be calling.

He answered on the second ring. “Hey.”

“Zentopia sucks.”

Evan glanced around wildly. His throat felt impossibly dry. “What?”

“My mom and I went there after dinner tonight. It’s the worst.”

“Oh,” Evan sighed. “Zentopia. Yeah. You got smoothies?”

“I should’ve known it was going to be bad. They put quotes around the word chocolate.”

“It was probably some kind of fake, nondairy chocolate.”

“You think?” Connor snorted. “So, how’s your dad?”

Evan glanced around again. “Good.”

He assumed he was good. He hadn’t actually seen him yet.

“Your mom misses you.”

“She does?” Evan blinked.

“She was really quiet at work today.”

“Oh, uh...”

“She asked me if I’d heard from you. She got this weird look on her face when she said it, so... yeah.”

Evan puffed his cheeks out and flopped back onto his bed. “It’s probably because I’m with my dad. Things are always kind of tense there, you know, so...”

“Divorced parents. Yeah. Got it.”

“Yeah. So, uh...” Evan’s eyes widened as they darted around the room. 

He hadn’t taken the time to take it all in before he’d passed out.

He was suddenly very glad he’d told Connor he hated FaceTiming. He didn’t know how he would’ve explained the suit of armor.

“You sound tired.”

“I am tired.” Evan yawned into the phone. “It’s been a long day.”

“Yeah. I should probably go to sleep too. I have to get up in six hours.”

Evan nodded slightly. “The internship’s almost over, right? Only four more days?”

“Four more days,” Connor sighed. “Then it’s off to Europe.”

Evan let out the most awkward chuckle he’d ever heard. “Yeah.”

“I can’t wait,” Connor deadpanned. “Good night.”

“Night,” Evan parroted. 

The call ended.

Evan pulled himself back up. 

He blinked around the room, at the oriental rugs and silk furniture and marble statues. 

It was too much to take in at once.

He sent his father a text asking about breakfast and decided to hide under the covers until someone came to get him.

The reason the palace seemed sort of small was that it was sort of small.

It was small by comparison.

It wasn’t the main Zenovian palace. It was just the summer one.

It was only half the size of the official palace.

The thought of that made Evan dizzy. Really dizzy.

Dizzy and glad that his father had opted to stay at the summer palace because it had a pool for the kids. 

The first two days of his stay were quiet. So quiet that they could almost pass for normal. 

It almost felt like he was in Colorado because he was doing the kinds of things he would’ve done there. 

Mostly he kept an eye on his siblings.

Part of him wondered if that was the real reason he’d been invited to Zenovia. 

Why hire a nanny when there’s a perfectly good big brother available to watch after the kids?

He didn’t mind though. Hanging out with Liam and Ella was significantly less stressful than attending meetings and meals with his dad and Lisa. 

And it gave him an excuse to explore.

No one batted an eye when a nine-year-old wanted to see the basement. A nineteen-year-old, on the other hand, needed a legitimate excuse to go down there.

By the third day, they’d covered all the ground they could.

There were still things to see, but they seemed to be off limits as far as Evan could tell. 

He wasn’t about to test that theory. He’d seen the dungeon firsthand. 

They decided to spend the day by the pool. Ella wanted to dive for pennies and Liam wanted to work on his cannonballs and Evan was finally ready to read.

He stretched out on a chaise and glanced up occasionally to make sure no one was drowning. 

He almost had a heart attack when he heard Ella scream. He threw his book down and jumped up to see what he’d missed.

Nothing.

Nothing dangerous anyway.

He breathed in so quickly he felt light-headed.

Ella was just excited to see the guy standing by the gate. She ran across the deck and practically threw herself at him. “V!”

“Ella!” the guy bellowed. He caught her and spun her around. His face lit up when he spotted Liam. “Liam! My main man!”

Liam grinned before cannonballing back into the water.

The guy’s smile wavered for a second when he noticed Evan. “And you must be Evan.”

Evan nodded slightly. His heart sped up when he got a good look at the guy’s face.

He knew that face.

It was in the dossier his father had sent him.

He racked his brain to remember the blurb that went with the photo.

It was pointless. 

He was in so much trouble.

The guy didn’t seem to notice or care. He pointed to himself. “I’m V. Vincent. Heather and Shannon’s son.”

Heather.

Evan inhaled sharply. That was the one name he’d managed to commit to memory.

She was his aunt. His father’s sister.

He couldn’t pick her out of a lineup if he had to.

V put Ella down and bounded over to slap Evan’s hand.

It took Evan a second to realize that was what he was going for.

V chuckled at that. “So, what are you three up to today? My moms are heading into town to do some shopping.”

Ella squealed and tugged on Evan’s arm. “Can we go?”

Evan scratched his neck and glanced at the room where his father was meeting with members of parliament. “Um...”

He turned to face the guards who were stationed next to the gate.

The one on the left shook his head.

“I think that’s a no.”

Ella bounced up and down and yanked his arm. “But-”

“We can get ice cream,” Evan said quickly. “Inside. In the kitchen.”

That wasn’t enough for Ella.

It was enough to get Liam out of the pool.

V grabbed Ella’s arm and spun her around. “Come on, El-el. Ice cream. I bet they have all the sprinkles here.”

“Rainbow sprinkles?” Ella grinned.

V ruffled her hair. “For sure rainbow sprinkles.”

Evan led the way because the kitchen was one of the few places he could always find.

It was also one of the few places he knew he was allowed in.

The room was empty because it wasn’t time to start prepping dinner yet. 

Evan went straight to the freezer and pulled out a giant tub of vanilla ice cream. 

V rifled through the cabinets until he found an assortment of sprinkles and sauces. 

He didn’t hesitate. He moved around like it was his home, like he belonged there, like there wasn’t anything weird going on at all.

It took Evan two tries to find a stack of bowls he felt comfortable using. He scooped the kids’ ice cream first before serving himself.

V was on his own.

He tried to remember what he’d read about V.

He knew V was a year younger than him, that he’d just graduated from high school, that he was starting college in the fall.

He couldn’t remember where. He couldn’t remember what V planned to study. He couldn’t remember anything on the list of V’s hobbies and interests.

There was only one thing he could remember.

“You were voted Class Clown.”

Evan almost drowned his ice cream in chocolate sauce when he heard himself.

V snorted when their eyes met. “You got the dossier too?”

Evan smiled weakly. “Yeah. Sorry. I...”

“You’re an Environmental Science major.” V licked his finger and shrugged. “That’s all I’ve got.”

“That’s all it said about me?”

That made Evan really happy for some reason.

V shrugged again. “That’s all I can remember. There were a lot of names.”

“And facts,” Evan nodded.

“Have you met any of them?”

Evan shook his head. “Not yet.”

“Mama said we’re having dinner with some of them tomorrow night.”

Evan nearly dropped his spoon. “We are?”

“Your dad’s hosting a party of some kind.”

That was news to Evan.

V smiled like he got that. “Mama said we should join forces and have each other’s back.”

That was news too.

V checked the time. “She also said I should take over babysitting duties so you can go to your fitting.”

“My fitting?” Evan blinked. 

“For your suit. For tomorrow night. I had mine this morning, as soon as we got here.” V rolled his eyes. “They didn’t even let me wash the plane stench off first.”

Evan put his dishes in the sink. “Okay, so I should...”

“Go find Paisley. She’ll tell you where to go.”

That would’ve been useful information if he could remember who Paisley was.

He nodded anyway.

He left the room before his confusion could overwhelm his face.

Evan’s phone rang while he was trying to figure out how to tie his tie. 

The call interrupted the video he’d been watching and made him curse under his breath because he’d finally almost understood what the guy was trying to show him.

He closed his eyes and tried to calm himself before accepting the call.

He almost dropped his phone when he realized he’d somehow managed to turn it into a video call. He scratched his neck and chuckled awkwardly. “Hey, uh...”

“Are you going somewhere?”

Evan glanced down at his shirt. 

And then he tried to figure out what time it was in Colorado. And at home. And...

He shook his head and then nodded. “Yeah. I’m going to a thing with my dad.”

“Oh,” Connor nodded. “I was wondering why you were dressed up.”

Evan glanced down again. He wasn’t that dressed up.

“I’m at the airport.” Connor tilted his phone so Evan could see his family. His mother was flipping through a magazine while Zoe rested her head on her shoulder. His father was having what appeared to be a very intense conversation with someone on his phone.

“It’ll be fine,” Evan assured him. “You’ll have fun.”

Connor didn’t look convinced. “I need a distraction. What are you doing today?”

Evan blinked at the phone while he tried to come up with something to say.

Connor looked at his strangely. “Has the camp started yet?”

“The camp,” Evan breathed. “Right. Yeah... Yeah. It’s started.”

“Is it everything you dreaded and more?”

“It’s okay,” Evan shrugged.

Connor tilted his head. “Are you okay?”

He wasn’t okay.

He was nervous.

Really nervous.

He wasn’t surprised he was doing a poor job of keeping it in.

“It’s just this thing with my dad,” Evan muttered. “I won’t know anyone and... you know.”

That technically wasn’t a lie. It wasn’t the whole truth, but it wasn’t a lie.

Connor stared at him like he knew he was hiding something.

Or maybe that was just Evan’s imagination.

He glanced over his shoulder quickly. “I should finish getting ready.”

Connor continued to stare.

Evan knew that stare. He waited for a pep talk, for advice on talking to people, for ways to fake food poisoning and get out of dodge.

“It’ll be fine,” Connor smirked. “You’ll have fun.”

The phone beeped when Connor ended the call.

Evan sighed and pulled the tie video back up.

Evan picked at his collar while he pretended to study the bookshelf in front of him. He glanced up when V practically over.

“I’m going to kill my moms,” V hissed. “Or your dad. Is this your dad’s fault?”

Evan shrugged because he wasn’t sure.

It wasn’t like he’d actually spoken to his dad about the dinner.

“Icky thought I was a waiter!”

“Icky?” Evan frowned.

“You haven’t met her yet?” V grinned.

Evan shook his head.

He hadn’t met anyone. He’d been hiding all night.

Which wasn’t saying much.

The party was only twenty minutes old, but he was hoping to keep it up all night.

“Fredericka,” V continued. “She goes by Icky.”

Evan’s brow furrowed while he tried to remember which one Fredericka was. “Second cousin?”

“Second cousin,” V nodded. “She’s one of the twins.”

V picked at his sleeves. “I’m going to go change. You in?”

Evan didn’t need to be asked twice. 

They were the only ones wearing suits. Even his father was wearing khakis. 

Whoever had told V they needed to dress up had really dropped the ball.

Their path was suddenly blocked by a guy and girl their age.

Evan’s brain churned while he tried to picture the dossier.

V spoke up before he could visualize the appropriate page. “Icky, Evan. Evan, Icky.”

He gave Icky a look that suggested he’d held up his end of the bargain.

Icky stuck out her hand. “And this is Frederick, my better half.”

Frederick narrowed his eyes. “You have got to stop saying that. It makes it sound like we’re married.”

Icky flicked his nose. “I can’t marry you. You’re my brother.” She grinned as she looked Evan up and down. “You on the other hand...”

“Cousin,” Frederick coughed.

“Second cousin. That’s allowed.”

“Not here. Third cousins, maybe, but not second.” Frederick rolled his eyes. “You wouldn’t want to marry him anyway, then you’d have to be queen.”

“Oh that.” Icky scrunched up her nose. She patted Evan’s arm. “Best of luck to you.”

Evan wasn’t sure what to make of that.

Frederick sipped his drink. “We were just coming to find you two. The sub-party’s outside.”

Evan tried to catch V’s eye. “We were just going to-”

“All right!” V rubbed his hands together. “Sub-party!”

Evan should’ve known. 

Class clowns always relished the chance to socialize.

He followed them out because it was better than staying put.

He followed them even though the thought of following them made him sick. He hated the party. He hated it so much. He didn’t know anyone. He didn’t even really know V. 

It wasn’t like he could leave though. People were watching him. He knew that. He was aware of that. 

They knew who he was and they were checking him out. If he stayed put, they might take that as an invitation to talk to him.

The sub-party sounded safer than that.

There were three other members of the sub-party. Evan recognized their faces. His mind went blank when he tried to remember their names.

More second cousins.

He knew that much.

Icky put a hand on her hip and pointed around the patio. “That’s our kid sister Mildred.”

Mildred narrowed her eyes like she took great offense to that.

Which made sense since kid sister seemed to be an exaggeration. She was dressed like she was interviewing for a Fortune 500 company.

Evan made a mental note to never ask her what he should wear to an event.

Icky’s hand flopped to the side. “And those are our cousins Roger and Meredith. We let them hang out with us even though they’re old.”

Roger and Meredith smiled like they were used to hearing that.

Mildred hopped off her stool. Her posture matched her outfit. “I’m going to go check on dinner.”

Icky rolled her eyes at Mildred’s back. She gave Evan and V a knowing look. “Yes, she’s exactly as bad as she seems. Seventeen going on seventy.”

Frederick smiled apologetically. “She’s just mad she couldn’t find a loophole.”

Meredith let out a surprised chuckle. “Is she still going on about that? I told her there wasn’t one.”

“Why should she believe you?” Icky teased. “You’re only the smartest person in this family.”

“Hey,” Roger huffed.

“I see you,” Icky huffed back. She popped a cheese puff in her mouth and sat down. “Mildred wants to be queen.”

“On her own,” Frederick added. “Not by illegally marrying her second cousin.”

“Oh,” Evan muttered.

“So, you’re fine in case you were worried.”

He was worried but not about that. “What kind of loophole was she looking for?”

Meredith took a sip of her wine and straightened up a bit. “Our claims to the throne were waived when our parents turned it down. She was hoping there was a way around that.”

Evan nodded slightly.

He understood that much.

It had been in the dossier. It had been one of the most important things in the dossier.

His grandmother really should not have had to become queen. She had three older siblings. It was almost unheard of for a fourth child to take over.

The problem was that the first and third siblings hadn’t had any children. Clement had been the childless king and Arlene had become a nun.

That meant his grandmother, Constance, and her brother Hadley were the only ones to produce any heirs.

Hadley was in poor health and had refused the crown after his brother died. His children had done the same.

Their refusal was what bumped Constance up to the front of the line.

“Mom just didn’t want me to become queen someday.” Icky stuck her tongue out at her brother. 

Frederick stuck his out in return. “Can you blame her? That would’ve been a disaster.”

Icky spun around to face Evan and V. “Seriously though, Mom turned it down because she thought Uncle Ron wanted it and she can’t be bothered. She likes making stained glass for a living.”

“Dad turned it down because he was afraid of the scandal,” Meredith sighed. 

“The scandal?” V grinned.

Meredith rolled her eyes. “It’s stupid. Everyone’s going to find out anyway. The story’s going to break any day now.”

“We were relieved, to be honest,” Roger said. “Can you imagine me becoming king?”

“Not in this reality,” Meredith teased.

Something flashed in Evan’s brain.

Roger and Meredith. Roger was thirty years old and designed video games for a living. Meredith was a twenty-five-year-old law student.

There was another sibling. A brother. The middle child.

“It’s too bad they couldn’t just hand the crown to Phillip,” Roger sighed. “He’s the one the people want.”

Phillip. That was his name. Twenty-eight years old. Soldier. Married with two small children.

His picture had jumped out at Evan because he looked like a king. His blurb made him sound like one.

“He wants it too,” Meredith said. “Not as much as Mildred, but you know.”

She took another sip of her wine. “Zenovian law’s funny that way. The only way Phillip can become king now is if he beats Aunt Constance in a swordfight and there’s no way he’s going to try that, especially since she can choose a champion to fight in her place.”

Icky’s eyes bulged. “You didn’t tell Mildred that, did you?”

Meredith looked at her like she’d lost her mind.

“Stupid question.”

“Really stupid. Mildred would push Aunt Constance down the stairs if she thought it would make her queen.”

Icky snapped her fingers at Evan. “Be afraid. Be really, really afraid.”

He was.

He really, really was.

Evan tried to escape as soon as dinner was over.

His father stopped him before he could reach the stairs.

“We’re about to take a picture,” Dan said.

That was the last thing Evan wanted to hear.

Dinner hadn’t gone as badly as he’d expected. It had been long and stiff and awkward. On the plus side, he hadn’t had to talk at all. 

He’d been hoping to end the night on a high note by running away before he said something stupid.

It took several minutes to get the whole group into the hall. It took several more to arrange them.

It was supposed to be a casual picture. It wasn’t an official one. Just something to tease the public about what was yet to come. 

Which meant that Dan had to be front and center.

Evan wasn’t sure where that left him. He ended up standing next to his father with V on his left. 

He tried to smile. He tried to relax. He tried not to think about anything that would make his face do that weird thing it did when he was nervous.

He didn’t stick around to see if he was successful.

His phone exploded while he was asleep.

Not literally.

It exploded with texts and emails and messages.

He panicked when he saw how many there were.

Someone must have died. 

That was all he could think.

Someone had died. He just hoped it wasn’t his mom.

He sighed when he saw ten of the texts were from her.

And then he panicked again.

It only took him a minute to figure out what had happened.

He’d gone viral overnight.

His family had gone viral.

Mostly it was about him though.

People loved the photo. It had become a thing. People were tagging themselves as members of the royal family.

Ella had been the first one to be singled out. Probably because of the fairy wings she’d insisted on wearing.

He had been the second. 

Someone had tagged the photo #I’m Awkward Prince Evan.

It had taken off from there.

He didn’t want to look at the picture.

He made himself look at the picture.

He immediately got where they’d gotten the awkward thing from.

It got worse from there. Someone had come up with the idea to brand him APE.

Which obviously meant his head had to be photoshopped onto the body of an ape.

He couldn’t read anymore.

He texted his mom that he was fine.

He ignored the messages from his high school classmates.

He opened his roommate thread and scrolled through the texts.

They were confused. They thought it was hilarious. They didn’t know what to think.

Ryan was afraid he was going to steal Layla because she’d always dreamed of becoming a princess.

Kai asked if he needed any knights.

Seth and Chris were geeking out about it. He couldn’t even understand half of what they were saying.

Cole wanted to know what it meant for their living situation.

Jared said he had nothing to say.

He actually said he had nothing to say.

So that was coming.

Connor hadn’t said anything at all.

So that was coming too.

Evan threw his phone down and stared at the ceiling.

He stayed like that for a very long time.

He stayed in his room all day.

He asked V to watch the kids and V cheerfully said yes.

It was better that way. The kids liked V better. They’d have more fun with V than they would with him.

He tried not to spend the day obsessing.

He was semi-successful.

He refused to answer his phone when it rang, which it did twice. It was his mom both times.

He texted her when she left a voicemail threatening to fly over there. She didn’t respond. He wondered if that meant she’d already bought a ticket.

He wasn’t sure if that made him feel better or worse.

He ate his meals in his room.

Because that was a thing he could do. Because there were people who were employed to make sure he ate.

He didn’t hear from his dad at all.

He tried not to think about that.

Icky came in with his dinner. She just walked right in behind the maid.

Evan jumped when he spotted her. He self-consciously tugged on his shorts.

“Please,” Icky scoffed. “I’ve seen worse.”

Evan pulled a blanket over his legs anyway. “What do you want?”

“V said you’re in hiding.”

“Yeah,” Evan nodded.

“Why?”

Evan simply stared.

“Because of the meme?” Icky rolled her eyes. “Please, child, I’ve been dragged so much worse than that.”

Evan was sure she had.

He’d spent the majority of the afternoon rereading the dossier. 

She had quite the reputation. She was definitely the wild child of the family.

Icky perched on the edge of his bed. “Do you know why I’m called Icky? Did they put that in your little book over there?”

Evan kept his mouth shut. He wasn’t touching that with a ten-foot pole.

“It doesn’t mean something different in Zenovia.” Icky took a breath. “When I was eight, this boy... this guy, Wally, Lord Wallace Hibbert.” Icky made a face. “You’ll meet him soon enough.”

He probably would. Evan vaguely remembered seeing something about the Hibbert family in his dossier.

“Wally told everyone on the playground that I was icky because I’m fat.” Icky squeezed her stomach. “It stuck. For days, they tormented me about it. So, I turned it around. I embraced it. I embraced my inner Icky. I decided that was my name.”

She patted Evan’s arm. “That’s what you have to do to survive around here. It’s what I’ve always done. I am who I am. I own my brand.” She grinned when she saw the dossier on his nightstand. “What does that say about me?”

“Nothing,” Evan said quickly.

Icky rolled her eyes. “I’m sure the press has said worse. My family has probably said worse. My friends definitely have.”

It wasn’t lost on Evan that she used air quotes around the word ‘friends.’

She chuckled when she checked her phone. “Speaking of, my friend Liv says there’s someone here to see you.”

“Me?” Evan blinked.

Icky nodded. “Liv’s dad is one of the guards. She has dinner with him during his break. She says her dad had to go because there’s a situation out front.”

She held her phone up so Evan could see the picture Liv had sent.

Evan leapt to his feet.

He ran out of the room faster than he’d ever run anywhere. He flew down the stairs and out the door. He barely noticed the guard who held the door open for him. He barely noticed the ones who followed him out. 

He definitely didn’t notice that he was barefooted and wearing a raggedy t-shirt and shorts that were basically boxers.

He wouldn’t have cared if he had.

He ran towards the gate so quickly two of the guards raised their weapons until they saw it was him. “They’re with me.”

The words came out in a breathless rush.

They did the trick though.

The gate opened. 

Evan leaned over to catch his breath. He glanced up in time to see Zoe give the guards a ‘told you so’ look as she went by.

He barely noticed that.

He chewed his lip when his eyes met Connor’s.

Connor stared at him for a second before he started to laugh. “Okay, seriously, what the fuck?”


	3. Summer After Freshman Year - Late June

“I want to marry this pillow,” Zoe moaned into said pillow. She kicked her shoes off and curled up in a ball on the couch.

And promptly fell asleep.

Or so it seemed.

It was possible she was just resting her eyes.

“She doesn’t function right on a weird sleep schedule,” Connor explained.

Evan nodded vaguely. He scratched his neck as he blinked around the room.

Around his room. His suite.

He tried to see it through their eyes.

He gave up on that when he realized there were more pressing issues at hand.

“How did you find me?”

“I searched for the best smoothie shop in Europe,” Connor retorted. 

He said it so quickly Evan could tell it had been on the tip of his tongue for hours.

Evan sighed and sat down on the couch.

On the other couch. His suite had two couches.

Connor sat down too. “So, you’re Prince Evan of Zenovia now?”

Evan nodded and then shrugged. “Yeah. Technically. I guess.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I...” Evan puffed out his cheeks. “I don’t know.”

“Is it true that you’re going to be king someday?” 

“I’m not sure,” Evan muttered.

“You’re not sure?” Connor repeated slowly. “Isn’t that the kind of thing you should know?”

“I’m still figuring it out. I only found out about all this-” Evan gestured around the room, “-a few weeks ago.”

Connor relaxed a bit at that. 

And then he started to laugh. “APE.”

“It’s not funny.”

“It’s a little funny.” Connor snorted again. He squeezed his eyes shut when Zoe’s phone rang. 

Zoe groaned and batted at her pocket like she thought that would make the noise stop.

Connor’s phone started ringing as soon as hers quieted down. He sighed and stared at it for a second before answering. “Hi Mom.”

Zoe bolted up when she heard him. She hugged the pillow to her chest. 

“We’re... yeah....” Connor mouthed something at Zoe.

Evan rubbed his eyes because he couldn’t tell what.

“I know we should’ve told you.”

“Asked,” Zoe hissed. “We should’ve asked first.”

Connor rolled his eyes. “We’ll be back tomorrow morning. First thing. There’s a train leaving at nine.”

Connor stood up and wandered across the room when his mother’s voice grew louder.

“We just left,” Zoe explained. “Our parents went downstairs to check on the luggage and we just left.”

Evan raised his eyebrows. “Oh.”

“Yeah,” Zoe smiled. “We really lucked out train-wise. We were able to grab one before our parents even noticed we were gone.”

It took Evan a second to follow that. “You just got here. To Europe. To... London?”

He was pretty sure that was supposed to be the first stop on their European tour.

“Yeah,” Zoe snorted. “We saw the meme on our way to the hotel and then...” She shrugged. “I decided I should probably follow him when he started muttering about breaking into a castle.”

Connor threw himself back onto the couch after he hung up. “I told Mom we’d be back in time for lunch.”

Which meant they were spending the night.

Evan wasn’t sure why he was surprised. 

“I can see if there’s a room... rooms... for you guys to...”

Connor smirked when Zoe stretched out like a cat. “Good luck getting her to move.”

“I can move,” Zoe mumbled into the pillow.

She didn’t seem to be in a hurry to get up. It was good thing the suite had two couches.

Evan’s hands twitched when his eyes landed on the tray of food the maid had left. “Have you eaten?”

Connor shook his head and Zoe popped back up.

She blinked around the room dazedly. “Is there food?”

Evan called the kitchen to request two more trays.

Zoe really did fall asleep after they finished eating. Not the second they finished, but it didn’t take her long.

“That pillow isn’t valuable, is it?” Connor wondered.

“Everything in this place is valuable.”

Connor wrinkled his nose. “It didn’t, like, belong to an ancient king or something did it?”

Evan’s eyes bulged. “Oh, God, I hope not.” 

Zoe had really smashed her face into it. It was only a matter of time before the pillow would be covered in drool.

“Oh my God,” Connor laughed. “You have a suit of armor. There’s a fucking suit of armor in your bedroom.”

“I know,” Evan nodded. “It terrifies me every night.”

Connor took a minute to look around the room. 

And then he spun around and pointed at Evan. “Okay, what else?”

“What else what?”

“Aren’t you going to give me a tour?”

They both glanced at Zoe like they expected that question to make her pop up again.

She didn’t move.

Evan decided to give Connor a quick tour. A safe tour. A tour of the parts of the palace that he knew he was allowed in. 

He saved the solarium for last. “This is my favorite room.”

Connor snorted at that. “Did you pull a Belle when you first saw it?”

“A Belle?” It took Evan a second to work that out. “Like in _Beauty and the Beast_?”

“When she saw the library,” Connor nodded.

“No comment.” Evan plopped down on the edge of the indoor pool and dipped his feet in. It was warm. Pleasantly warm. He made a mental note about that.

Connor sat on the wooden swing across from him. “Are they letting you take care of the plants?”

Evan shook his head.

“Have you asked if you can?”

Evan shook his head again. “I’m mostly here to watch the kids.”

“Kids?” Connor frowned.

“Liam and Ella. My siblings.”

“Right,” Connor nodded. He laughed when he tried and failed to make the swing twist around. “You aren’t going to move here, are you?”

“No,” Evan said automatically.

And then he frowned because it hadn’t even occurred to him that that was a possibility.

“I don’t even know if my dad’s moving here.”

“He has to, doesn’t he? He’s going to be king after his mother dies.” Connor tried to twist the swing again. “Alana wants me to get her a meeting.”

It took Evan a second to follow that. “With my dad?”

“With you,” Connor grinned. 

Evan’s feet went still in the water. “Why?”

“Because she thinks you have power now.”

“I really don’t.”

“You will someday.”

“If I accept the crown,” Evan shrugged.

“You can turn it down?” He tilted his head when Evan nodded. “Are you going to turn it down?”

“I haven’t decided yet.” That answer caught Evan by surprise. He stared at his feet as they broke the surface and splashed back down again. 

His head popped up suddenly. “How does Alana know about this? About my dad? About...” 

“She read the article on Buzzfeed.”

“There’s an article?” Evan reached for his phone, only to discover he’d left it in his room.

He knew the picture had gone viral. He knew people had somehow figured out all of their names.

He knew they loved the picture because it reminded them of their families’ pictures. It wasn’t stiff or formal or posed. Ella was wearing fairy wings and Liam was chewing his nails and he was doing that awkward smile-cringe thing he always did in pictures.

The picture made them seem normal and relatable and nice.

He hadn’t realized there was more to it than that.

He jumped when Connor slid down next to him. “This has been the weirdest month of my life and it hasn’t even been a whole month yet.”

“You really didn’t know?”

Evan’s voice grew shrill as he gestured at himself. “Do I look like someone who knew his father was secretly a prince?”

“Did your mom know?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s messed up.”

Evan grabbed at his hair. “You’re telling me.”

“You would’ve been so popular in high school if this had gotten out then.”

Evan tilted his head. “You think?”

“Everyone would’ve wanted to be your friend.”

“Not everyone.” Evan glanced at him quickly. “You wouldn’t.”

He couldn’t picture the Connor he’d known in high school caring about something like that.

He didn’t even think the Connor he considered his best friend cared about it. Not really. Not in a way that counted.

Connor wrinkled his nose. “Yeah.”

“Jared would’ve milked it for all its worth.”

“Zoe would’ve said yes if you’d asked her out.” Connor smirked into his hand. “She knows, by the way.”

Evan’s heart went still. “Knows what?”

“That you used to have a crush on her.”

Evan felt like he was going to be sick. “She could tell?”

That concept did not compute. Zoe hadn’t even noticed him when they were in high school. He was sure she hadn’t. There was no way she’d noticed him.

Unless she had. Unless there had been a part of her that thought he was some sad, pathetic person who deserved her pity.

He didn’t want to think about that.

“I told her.”

Evan nearly pushed Connor into the pool.

Connor scooted back like he knew that was a possibility. “It was an accident!”

“You accidentally told your sister that I used to have a crush on her?” Evan yelped.

“It just slipped out.”

“How does something like that just slip out? What were you talking about that made it slip out?”

Connor shifted around uncomfortably.

Evan folded his arms across his chest and let his breath out in a huff. 

He decided to drop the subject because it was obviously something Connor didn’t want to discuss.

That didn’t stop him from being annoyed though.

“She’s going to school with us next year,” Connor said. “Did I tell you that?”

Evan shook his head. He refused to look Connor in the eye.

“I said I’m sorry!”

“You didn’t, actually.”

Connor took a deep breath. “I’m sorry I accidentally told my sister you used to have a crush on her.”

“Apology accepted,” Evan sniffed. His hands twitched in his lap. “So, you’re telling me I’m going to have to see her all the time now? Great. Just when I thought my life couldn’t get any more awkward than it already is.”

“She’d probably say yes if you asked her out now too, actually. She went through a major princess phase when she was eight.”

“I’m not asking Zoe out!” Evan rolled his eyes when he saw Connor was teasing him. “It would be weird.”

“Yeah,” Connor agreed. “You’re coming back, aren’t you?” He lowered his eyes when Evan didn’t immediately respond. “To school, I mean. They’re not going to, like, make you join the Zenovian army and learn to fly a plane, are they?”

Evan’s eyes bulged. That hadn’t occurred to him at all. “No one’s said anything, if they are.”

“Cole’s freaking out. He’s convinced we won’t be safe if you live with us.”

Evan hadn’t thought about that either. “Are people really going to care?”

“That you’re a prince?” Connor nodded slowly. “I’ve been getting texts about you all day. Even Lauren’s asking me about it.”

“Lauren?” Evan laughed.

“Have you heard from Mia?”

Evan shrugged because he wasn’t sure. He’d stopped checking his phone after the first wave of messages.

He shook his head to clear it. “So, what are you doing tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow?” Connor blinked. “We’re going back to London.”

“Specifically,” Evan amended. “What are your plans?”

Connor stared at him for a second before he got it.

And then he started rambling on about the travel itinerary his parents had cooked up because he knew Evan needed the distraction.

Evan sighed when he was done. “You should come back here. When they leave, you and Zoe should come back here.”

“Is that allowed?”

Evan chewed his lip and focused on the water.

“They confiscated our passports,” Connor reminded him.

“They’re doing a background check. You should be cleared way before your parents... what?” Evan’s mouth twisted to the side when Connor started to laugh. 

“How far back are they going to go? Do they have access to my school records?”

“They aren’t going to think you’re a terrorist because you threw a printer at Mrs. G.”

Connor’s mouth dropped open. It only took him a second to recover. “What about all the weed?”

“Marijuana’s legal in Zenovia.” Evan snorted at Connor’s expression. “That’s the thing that makes you want to come back? Not the fact that your best friend needs your help?”

Connor sniffed like he refused to dignify that with a response. “I’ll run it by Zoe. We’re supposed to stick together.”

“Tell her she can keep the pillow if she comes back.” Evan’s head flopped from side to side. “Actually, let me look into that first.”

Something told him he better make sure the pillow didn’t belong in a museum before he gave it away.

Evan wasn’t allowed to go to the train station with Connor and Zoe.

The guards informed him of that when he tried to follow them to the car. 

It was weird and embarrassing and threw him through a loop.

He needed permission to go places. He needed permission because arrangements had to be made. He needed a security detail in order to leave the palace.

He also needed to make sure that his appearance met the list of standards the queen had set. He didn’t need to see the list to know his tree hugger t-shirt wouldn’t make the cut.

He settled for saying goodbye to his friends at the gate.

At least it was only a temporary goodbye. They’d be back in two weeks. Zoe had immediately said yes when Connor asked if she wanted to stay in Zenovia after their parents went home. He didn’t even have to mention the pillow.

Zoe cackled when she heard their background checks weren’t complete. “Is there a field nearby?”

“A field?” Evan repeated.

“For Connor to sleep in. We can get him a tent if he fails the check.” She grinned when Connor glared at her. “I’m just saying, I know I’m clean. I’ve never even gotten a speeding ticket.”

“Do those count?” Connor blinked.

Zoe nudged his arm when the driver poked his head out to see what was causing the delay. “We better go. The train leaves in ten minutes.”

She patted Evan’s arm before sliding into the backseat.

Connor lingered for a second before doing the same. He waved at Evan before the car pulled away.

Evan waved back, even though he wasn’t sure if they could see him.

His phone exploded while he was hiding in Liam’s closet.

It was annoying because it startled him and made him lose his balance and made it extremely easy for Ella to find him.

She grinned when she bopped him on the nose. “Your turn!”

He couldn’t find the energy to stop her before she took off to find a hiding spot.

He sent V a text asking to switch kids and sat down on the floor because he thought it would be a bad idea for him to keep standing while he checked the news.

Jared’s text was the first thing he saw.

_Wow. Color me impressed. The lengths you will go to get in Zoe Murphy’s pants. Or should I say shorts? Because damn those are short shorts._

Evan sucked in a breath. He decided to ignore the rest of his messages until he’d googled his name.

The story popped right up. 

It was about his supposed relationship with an unknown female. There was a picture of Zoe patting his arm. The angle it had been taken from made it look like she was hugging him. 

It also made her shorts look a lot shorter than they actually were.

Connor was nowhere to be seen.

The story had exploded because it included an interview with Phillip’s wife, Katie. 

Which was a big deal because people in Zenovia loved Katie even more than they loved Phillip. It was clear from the tone of the article that they were devastated she wasn’t going to become their queen.

Evan dropped his phone when he finished watching the video.

He could see why people loved Katie. She was beautiful. She was well-spoken. Her hair was so shiny it almost looked fake.

She hadn’t said anything negative about him, exactly. She’d just smiled demurely and said it was a new day for Zenovia. That she would never have dreamed of staying in Phillip’s room before they got married. That it would be interesting to see what kind of ideas the Americans brought to the table.

Evan made the mistake of glancing at the comment section before he threw his phone down.

People were tearing him apart. They were saying horrible things about him and about Zoe, except not really about Zoe because they didn’t know her name.

They didn’t know her name yet.

Evan’s stomach dropped when he realized that.

He studied the photo again. Zoe’s face was partially obscured by her hair. It was possible no one would be able to tell who she was.

No one except Jared.

He wondered how much he’d have to pay Jared to make him keep his mouth shut.

He pushed that thought out of his head. He told himself it could’ve been worse. 

It wasn’t like they were doing anything seriously scandalous in the picture. Not unless Zenovians thought it was scandalous to have an overnight guest. A platonic overnight guest. 

He didn’t know if it was worse to have people think he was an awkward monkey or some sort of Lothario. 

Part of him wanted to respond to the comments and make it clear that Zoe was a friend who had slept on his couch. It wasn’t like there were that many comments for him to respond to. Less than ten. The picture hadn’t blown up the way the family one had. He hoped it would stay that way.

He panicked for a second when he realized this could change things. It could make his dad or Paisley or whoever was in charge of giving people clearance decide that Zoe and Connor were not welcome in the palace.

He had to find his dad and tell him his side of the story before it was too late.

He pulled himself off the floor and crept out of Liam’s room. 

The suite was quiet. It appeared to be empty. Of course, there was a chance it wasn’t really empty since Ella and V were playing hide and seek.

It took him a second to hear the voices.

The whispers. The whispered argument.

It was coming from his father’s study.

The door was closed, but he recognized the voices. He recognized the tones.

His dad and Lisa were arguing about something. He couldn’t understand what.

Lisa sounded so much like his mother when she whisper-yelled he did a double take. He wondered if his father had a type or if there was something about him that brought that tone out in women.

He decided his side of the story could wait. There was no way he was getting in the middle of that.

He ran into Liam on his way out. Literally ran into him.

He rubbed his knee and muttered a quick apology.

“You’re supposed to be outside!” Liam pouted. “I’m not allowed in the pool if-”

Evan quickly put a hand on Liam’s shoulder and shushed him. “Okay, okay. Come on. Let’s go.”

He kept his voice as quiet as he could.

It didn’t matter.

The door to the study swung open anyway.

His father and Lisa were all smiles when they emerged.

“Did I hear something about the pool?” Lisa chirped. “Give me a second to put on my suit. I’ll go with you.”

She gave her husband a look that suggested their conversation wasn’t over.

Dan put a hand up to stop Evan before he could slip away. “I have to make a quick phone call, then we need to talk.”

Evan nodded numbly.

He sank onto the stool by the door and tried to breathe.

Liam’s face scrunched up as he studied him. “They were fighting again.”

He said it like it was a fact, like it was something that had happened many times. Many, many times.

Evan knew the feeling.

He didn’t know how he knew, but he knew what Liam needed. What Ella needed too. “You guys want to have a sleepover in my suite tonight?”

Liam muttered a quick “maybe,” but he couldn’t hide the way his face lit up.

Evan tried not to panic when his father closed the door. Something about that made him feel trapped. It made him feel like he’d been called to the principal’s office.

He blurted out the first thing to pop into his head. “I can explain. The photo. I can explain the photo.”

Dan waved his hand dismissively. “I’m not worried about the photo.”

“You’re not?” Evan blinked.

“I know you had friends over the other day. I know the photo’s misleading. Paisley’s handling it.”

“Okay,” Evan breathed. “Good.”

“I want to talk to you about your future.” Dan folded his hands in front of him. “Is this something you want?”

He nodded his head to indicate he meant the castle, the crown, all of it.

“I don’t know,” Evan admitted. “Maybe.”

He fought the urge to add a ‘not really’ to that maybe.

“You don’t have to decide right now. You don’t really need to decide until I’m dead.”

Evan’s face twitched. “Okay. Um.”

“If you say no, the crown will go to Liam. If he says no, it’ll go to Ella. Unless any of you have kids by that point. That’ll change things.”

Evan understood that much about Zenovian law. Children were only excluded if the two prior generations had declined.

That was how Phillip had gotten passed over. And Mildred, for that matter.

“Paisley has arranged for your lessons to start tomorrow.”

Evan scrambled to figure out what his father was talking about. His face betrayed him before he could.

“On proper etiquette and Zenovia and whatever else Paisley deems necessary. You’ll be taking them with V. Rumor has it the twins may be joining you. Mom thinks Icky could use a refresher.”

Evan smiled when he saw his father was smiling. “Right, yeah, I can see that.”

“Your mother will be arriving next week.”

Evan almost fell off his chair. “What? Mom’s coming here?”

“For the coronation. She didn’t tell you?”

Evan shook his head. He fought the urge to check his phone.

He knew his mother had texted him. He just hadn’t gotten around to reading her texts yet. He was really starting to regret that.

“Mom thought it would be a good idea to have her here,” Dan continued. “To keep up appearances. To make it look we’re all on the same page. No hard feelings, that kind of thing.”

“One big, happy family,” Evan muttered.

“Exactly,” Dan grinned. “That’ll be especially important when the news breaks about Ron and Kristin.”

Evan sat up a bit straighter. “What news?”

“He’s having an affair,” Dan said matter-of-factly. “That’s why he turned down the crown.”

Something about that made Evan feel sick.

“He didn’t expect Clem to die this soon,” Dan went on. “He thought he still had time to get divorced and remarried and smooth things out before he would take over as king. That was the plan. It was always the plan for Ron to become king and for Phillip to follow in his footsteps.”

Evan didn’t want to hear any more. His entire body felt prickly.

“Is there anything else?”

The question came out sharper than he’d anticipated. He didn’t bother apologizing for his tone.

His father’s face went blank. “Not really. I feel like I hardly see you though. How are you doing with-”

Evan stood up before his father could finish the question.

He stumbled down the hall to his room and collapsed on his bed.

He didn’t know why he was surprised he was surrounded by hypocrites.

Surprised wasn’t the right word. He wasn’t surprised.

He didn’t know what he was.

He didn’t know why it was bothering him so much.

He called Connor because he needed to rant. 

“Can you talk?”

There was a pause while Connor considered his question. Probably because he’d practically barked it into the phone.

“Give me a second,” Connor whispered. There was a rustling sound and then silence.

Evan blinked at the ceiling while he waited.

“Sorry,” Connor murmured. “We’re at a museum.”

Evan nodded even though Connor couldn’t see him. “Tell Zoe I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

Evan didn’t know if it was better or worse that they hadn’t seen the story yet. “There’s a picture of us. Someone snapped a picture of her touching my arm when you guys were leaving the other day. People think we’re together.”

Connor let out a sound that was somewhere between a cough and a chuckle. “Really?”

“Yes, really.”

“Wow. Okay, well...”

“They’re saying all these things and it’s bad. It’s just bad. It’s just... But that’s not why I called.”

There was a pause on the other end. “Why did you call?”

It spilled out of Evan. Quickly. So quickly he could barely keep up.

Connor did somehow. He even managed to connect the pieces Evan hadn’t been willing to connect yet.

“Is your mom okay with all that?”

“With pretending everything’s cool with my dad so he can avoid getting caught in a scandal?” Evan pressed his lips together. “I don’t know. Probably not.”

“Will he have to turn the crown down if people think he...”

“I don’t know,” Evan laughed harshly. “I wonder if this is a thing in my dad’s family, if none of the men can keep it in their pants.”

“I didn’t realize that was a problem for you.”

Connor sounded like it was taking every bit of strength he had not to laugh.

Evan breathed into the phone. “It’s not.”

“So probably not all the men then.”

“I guess. I wonder if Phillip’s cheating on Katie. That scandal would blow all these other scandals out of the water.”

“Is the thing with your dad really a scandal though? It was a long time ago.”

“He cheated on my mom,” Evan hissed. “With Lisa. The woman he’s married to now.”

“The woman he’s having secret fights with.”

“Yeah,” Evan sighed. “My parents would’ve split up even if my dad hadn’t met Lisa. She was just the final nail in the coffin. It would’ve been something else if she hadn’t been around.”

His throat felt dry when he heard himself. It had taken him years to wrap his mind around that. It still felt weird sometimes. Not bad. Not sad. Weird. He didn’t know what else to call it.

He sighed again. “And now Mom has to come here and play nice and fool the world.”

“Your mom’s coming for you. You know that, right? She isn’t doing this for your dad.”

“She’s coming because my grandmother, the queen, thinks that her presence will keep people from getting upset about the way my dad and Lisa got started.”

“She could’ve said no. It’s not like they can do anything to her.”

“I guess,” Evan mumbled.

“She’s worried about you. I could tell that even before I knew about all this.”

Evan didn’t want to think about that. He didn’t want to know what his mother had said or done to make Connor think she was worried. 

He hated thinking that he’d worried her. He hated thinking that he’d worried anyone.

He decided to change the subject.

“I’m starting prince lessons tomorrow.”

Connor chuckled into the phone. “Prince lessons? What are you, like, learning how to save damsels in distress or something?”

“Probably.” Evan paused for a moment. “Or, no, actually. That would be a knight thing, wouldn’t it? I think they’re just going to tell me which fork to use.”

“And how to sit up straight.”

“And make eye contact and talk to people and, oh my God, what am I doing here? This was the worst idea in the history of bad ideas. I should’ve stayed home. I should never have come here.”

Evan grabbed a handful of his hair and pulled. The pain made his eyes water, but it distracted him for a second.

“I would’ve gone too,” Connor admitted. “I would’ve gone if I’d been in your shoes.”

“You would have?” Evan continued on before Connor could make the obvious joke. “Because of the weed?”

“You know me too well.”

Evan smiled because he knew they were joking. Mostly. It wasn’t like it was something Connor did all the time. 

Something he did all the time anymore. Evan knew enough to know that hadn’t always been the case.

“I should go,” Connor continued. “I don’t see my family anymore, so there’s, like, a fifty percent chance I’ve been left behind.” He breathed into the phone. “Are you going to be okay?”

Evan nodded, even though Connor couldn’t see him. He took a breath. His head felt lighter. His heart felt slower. Mission accomplished. “Yeah. I’m going to be okay.”


	4. Summer After Freshman Year - Early July

Evan was five minutes late for his first prince lesson. 

He wasn’t entirely sure how that had happened.

Except he was.

He knew how it happened.

He’d been so nervous about being late that he’d woken himself up early. Really early. An hour earlier than he really needed to get up.

Which had backfired, obviously, because it gave him an extra hour to work himself into a frenzy. 

It was a roller coaster. Up and down and all around. He’d actually managed to calm himself down with ten minutes to spare, but then he’d started worrying about what would happen if he got to the room too early.

What if he was the first one there? He didn’t want to seem too eager. Mainly because he had a feeling Icky would make his life miserable if he did. 

He also didn’t want to give Paisley the chance to focus on him. The sooner she figured out he was an awkward, anxious spaz, the harder his life would be. His father had already mentioned that he might benefit from some one on one coaching.

He was hoping to delay that as long as possible.

Five minutes late it was then. 

It was a wonder he was only five minutes late.

He wasn’t the last one to arrive. That honor belonged to the twins.

He took a seat next to V, who looked like he’d only been up for a few minutes.

Mildred, on the other hand, looked like she’d been up for hours. No surprise there.

Paisley was the only one to acknowledge him. “Good morning, Evan.”

Evan’s eyes widened when she didn’t look away. “Good morning?”

He squeezed his eyes shut when he heard how uncertain he sounded. Uncertain and nervous. 

He was definitely getting a one on one lesson later.

Paisley gave him a warm smile before turning to face Mildred. “Anything?”

Mildred checked her phone. “Nothing.”

“You said they were getting ready when you left?”

“Frederick was. Icky was still in bed.”

Paisley lifted a stack of papers off the table. “Perhaps we should get started then. We only have the room until eleven.”

She handed each of them a packet before pulling up a PowerPoint. 

Their first lesson was on Zenovian history.

Evan tried to pay attention and take notes. He didn’t ask questions. He let Mildred handle that. She took notes and asked questions like she had something to prove. Which, in her mind, she probably did.

He comforted himself with the knowledge that he was a better student than V, who looked like he was sleeping with his eyes open.

The twins stumbled in a half hour into the lesson.

Frederick looked apologetic. Icky looked hungover.

Her jaw clenched when she realized the only empty seat was the one next to her sister. “What are you doing here?”

Mildred pinched her nose. “You didn’t even bother showering this morning?”

Icky sniffed her armpits. “I put on deodorant.”

“You smell the way you look.”

Paisley cleared her throat. “As I was saying-”

“You don’t belong here,” Icky snapped. “No one asked you to come. You’re just here to spy on Evan.” 

Paisley rubbed her forehead. “Why don’t we take a five-minute break?”

No one moved. Not even V, who looked like he was finally awake.

“I’m here because we’re all supposed to be on the same page,” Mildred said. Her back was as stiff as a board, but she kept her eyes on the table.

“Bullshit,” Icky huffed. “You’re here because you still think you’re in line for the crown.”

Mildred stood up and strode out of the room without looking at anyone.

Frederick shook his head at his sister. “Maybe she just didn’t want to feel left out.”

“You say that like she’s capable of feelings.”

“She loves shit like this,” Frederick whispered. “It doesn’t mean she...”

The rest of his words were lost on Evan. He pretended to study his packet while the twins hissed at each other.

He tried not to eavesdrop or even wonder what they were saying.

He really tried not to worry about why Mildred would want to spy on him.

Mildred didn’t come back.

Her absence was extremely noticeable.

No one asked any questions or attempted to answer the ones Paisley tossed at them. 

Luckily for them, Paisley wasn’t the kind of teacher who called on students who clearly didn’t want to be called on. 

Probably because she technically worked for them.

Evan wondered what her actual job was and if she considered the teaching assignment an honor or if it was just something that had been dropped in her lap. He felt like that was something he should know. He should know what Paisley’s job was, not whether she’d had the misfortune of drawing the short straw.

She glanced around expectantly when she finished her presentation. No one said a word. A hint of disappointment flashed across her face before she started flipping through her notes. “I think that’s enough for today. Tomorrow we’ll-”

Icky jumped out of her chair so quickly it almost fell down. Frederick barely managed to grab it in time. 

Paisley closed her eyes when the door slammed shut behind Icky. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Evan followed the others out. He timed it just right. He made sure not to go first so he didn’t have to lead. He hung back just enough that he wasn’t walking with them, in case that wasn’t something they wanted him to do.

Icky was waiting for them at the end of the hall. She was twirling something around in her mouth. For one brief, horrifying second, Evan thought it was a cigarette and she was going to get them all in trouble.

And then she pulled a lollipop out of her mouth and asked if anyone wanted a lick. 

She didn’t seem surprised when everyone ignored her question. She poked her brother’s arm and tossed her head to the left. “Come on. Let’s go. I’m wasting valuable naptime here.”

Frederick narrowed his eyes. “Why do you have to be so rude?”

His face fell when he saw her expression. 

Evan knew that look even though he’d never seen it on Frederick.

Frederick had made a mistake. He’d said the wrong thing. He’d give anything to take it back.

Icky spun around to face V and Evan. “Maybe you two can settle this. How old do you think Paisley is?”

V glanced over his shoulder quickly. “I don’t know. Forty, maybe?”

“Forty?” Frederick sputtered.

“Maybe?” V muttered.

“She’s not that old,” Frederick insisted. “Meredith knows her, so that means they’re the same age.” He paused to chew his lip. “Probably. So that means she’s not that much older than us. She’s-”

Icky put a hand to her chest and pretended to swoon. “Freddie’s in love.”

Frederick shoved her shoulder. “Not here!”

Icky bounced up and down and clapped her hands excitedly. “We should ask Paisley if she wants to come out with us tonight!”

Frederick jabbed a finger in her direction. “Do it and die.”

Icky’s eyes danced when she looked at V and Evan again. “Freddie thinks she’s hot.”

“You do too,” Frederick hissed. “You were just saying you think she’s-”

“I think everyone’s hot. I had crushes on animated characters before that was a thing.” She yawned and stretched so violently she almost knocked a probably-priceless painting off the wall. “I don’t know why I bothered going to sleep when I got home. I should’ve just stayed up.”

Frederick tilted his head to study her. “What time did you get in?”

Icky refused to meet his stare. “We’re going out again tonight. You can come if you want.”

It took Evan a second to realize that was aimed at him. And at V, he supposed. It was probably intended more for V actually.

V answered for both of them. “We can’t.”

A Cheshire grin spread across Icky’s face. “The queen’s coming. That’s right. Good luck with that.” She yawned again. She nearly took out a bust that time. “We’ll be at Falling if you change your mind.”

Icky flounced around the corner when it was time for them to part ways. Frederick trailed after her. Evan had a feeling that was the norm for them.

V paused when they reached the stairs. “Where are the kids?”

“With Lisa,” Evan said automatically.

“Do we have to relieve her?”

Evan shook his head even though he only knew he didn’t. He wasn’t sure about V.

There was an awkward moment where neither of them knew what to say. Evan couldn’t tell if V was about to suggest they do something together. He wasn’t sure if he wanted him to or what they would do if they did. It wasn’t like they could go anywhere.

“Okay,” V laughed. “So, the only thing I got out of that is that the royal family has been playing a game of Not It with the crown for the last century.”

Evan thought it was kind of funny that V referred to the royal family as the royal family and not “our family,” but then he realized he would’ve done the same. It still felt distant to him. It didn’t feel real, even though he was surrounded by it 24/7.

“Do you want it?” Evan blurted out.

V stopped in his tracks. “It?”

“The crown.”

V raised his eyebrows. “Are we going to wind up playing a game of Not It someday?”

“I might. With Liam and Ella, I mean. Not with you because...”

“My mom will have first dibs if you three pass,” V nodded. His brow furrowed all of the sudden. “You don’t want it?”

“I don’t know.” 

“I can’t have it.”

Evan’s eyes widened at V’s tone. He said it like it was a fact. “Why not?”

“Because...” V gestured at himself. “I don’t sleep in a tanning bed every night.” He rolled his eyes at Evan’s confusion. “I’m adopted. There isn’t a drop of Zenovian blood in me.”

“Oh,” Evan muttered. “Right.”

“That wasn’t in the dossier?” V grinned.

“I didn’t know if it mattered.”

“It does,” V insisted. “Trust me. It does.”

“Would you want it though?”

“I don’t know,” V shrugged. “Maybe.”

Evan did a double take when he noticed the portrait to their right. “There she is. Right there.”

Queen Gertrude, the monarch who had declared that wearing the crown should be a privilege, not a prophecy, right before she’d announced that she was going to be the new queen because her older sister was a simpleton. 

The one who’d made it acceptable for future generations to play a round of Not It before deciding who the new ruler would be.

V stared at the painting. “You have her nose.”

Evan patted his nose until he realized what he was doing.

He didn’t need to feel it to know that he did.

Evan practically jumped out of his skin when his door suddenly flew open. He pulled his earbuds out and wondered if he’d missed the knock. He wondered how he’d missed it until he saw V’s face.

There hadn’t been a knock. V had burst into his room without knocking.

V’s eyes darted around when he realized what he’d done. It was like he expected Evan to be doing something he shouldn’t have walked in on. He relaxed when he saw that wasn’t the case. 

“What do we call her?”

Evan pulled himself up so his legs were dangling over the edge of his bed. “Who?”

“The queen.” V snorted. “Our grandmother.”

Evan scratched his neck because he’d been wondering the same thing. “Uh...”

“She’s here.”

That explained V’s entrance.

The queen was early.

Two hours early.

Which meant that everyone was in a panic.

Everyone except Evan, who had been listening to music and sorting through the massive collection of plant photos Connor had sent him.

“Have you met her?” Evan asked.

V shook his head. 

“I met her once, I think.”

“What’s she like?”

Evan shrugged. “It was a long time ago.”

“What did you call her?”

Evan shrugged again. His mother’s mother was Grandma. He couldn’t remember what he’d called his father’s mother. He couldn’t remember if he’d called her anything. 

“This is what Paisley should be teaching us,” V muttered. “Not how the red dye shortage of 1987 almost started an actual war on Christmas.”

“Why don’t we just not call her anything until someone tells us to?”

V’s eyes bulged while he was in the middle of a nod. “Do we bow to her?”

Evan stared at his feet. 

Someone really needed to tell Paisley to get her priorities straight.

They weren’t having a party for the queen. Evan was aware of that. It was a relief until it wasn’t. 

Part of him thought it would’ve been better if the palace had been filled with people. It would’ve been easier for him to hide.

He couldn’t hide on the patio, not unless he got in the pool with the kids. He was tempted to do just that. He was tempted to turn around and change into his swim trunks and spend the evening playing Marco Polo with his siblings.

His father waved him over before he could escape. He shoved his hands in his pockets and tried not to let his eyes roam while he made his way over to the grill. He tried not to let his heart race while he wondered where the queen was and what stupid thing he’d say when he saw her. 

His father clapped him on the shoulder the second he reached his side. “Mom, you remember Evan, don’t you?” 

Evan tried to hide his surprise.

The woman in front of him, the one flipping burgers and wearing a sassy apron and jeans, was the queen? 

She wasn’t what he’d expected. Or remembered.

She definitely didn’t look like any of the pictures he’d seen. 

She put the spatula down, rubbed her hands on her apron, and stared at him like she was staring into his soul. “He grew.”

“That’s what happens when you don’t see a kid for twelve years,” Dan grinned.

Evan let out a nervous laugh.

And then his body decided it had a mind of its own. He did something that was somewhere between a bow and a lunge.

It was the most terrifying thing he could imagine.

He choked on his spit and very nearly cannonballed into the pool with Liam just to get away.

His father started laughing before he could. “What was that?”

Evan wasn’t sure what it was. 

Or, actually, he was. He just didn’t know how to explain it.

He didn’t want to explain it.

It obviously wasn’t necessary to bow to the queen in private. Not while she was wearing jeans and had barbecue sauce on her cheek and her hair was sticking up like Madam Hooch’s. 

Not while she was in grandmother-mode.

Which she clearly was, judging from the way she was smiling at him. “I don’t think we’ve been properly introduced.” She stuck out her hand. “It’s nice to meet you, Evan. I’m Constance, your grandmother.”

Evan wiped his hand on his pants before shaking hers. “Nice to meet you, uh...” He looked at his father for help.

“Grandma?” Dan suggested. He continued on before Evan could explode with word vomit. “You already have a Grandma.” He looked at his mother for help.

“Gran?” Constance shrugged. “Better than Granny. Granny makes me feel old.”

“You are old,” Dan teased. His smile faded when she narrowed her eyes. “Too far?”

Constance waved the spatula at him. “Don’t make me lock you in the dungeon. I’ve done it before, I’ll do it again.” She grinned at Evan. “That’s what we used to call our basement. I locked your father down there once when I caught him sneaking out to go to a-”

Dan cleared his throat. He prodded Evan’s shoulder. “Let’s go have a seat. We’re hogging the queen.”

Evan allowed his father to push him forward. Constance mouthed something at him that he didn’t quite catch. 

He smiled anyway.

The barbecue wasn’t like anything Evan had ever experienced. 

His mother was an only child, so family events had always been fairly limited. He had a vague recollection of being a ringbearer in his mother’s cousin’s wedding and that was about it. 

His maternal grandparents moved to Florida shortly after he was born. His grandfather passed away a few years after that.

Holidays were never a big deal in the Hansen household. It was usually just the two of them. Sometimes it was only one. The hospital never closed and his mother had always jumped at the chance to seem like a team player by agreeing to work on Christmas.

Some years they’d gone to his mother’s friend Maggie’s house and celebrated with the motley crew she’d assembled. Those celebrations hadn’t been nearly as civil as the palace barbecue was though.

Nothing had prepared him for that.

Not Maggie’s dinners, not the Kleinmans’ parties that usually ended with someone smashing a plate. Nothing.

It wasn’t bad though.

Mainly because he didn’t have to talk. Partially because he was too nervous to talk, partially because he wasn’t sure if he was allowed to, mostly because he wanted to listen.

It didn’t take long for his father and Aunt Heather to start trying to one up each other with stories from their youth. It really didn’t take long for their mother to chime in with her take on what had happened.

She knew more than her children thought she did. It was hilarious to see that.

It was also kind of sad when Evan realized the same couldn’t be said for his father. He wasn’t even sure if it could be said for his mother. There were times when he thought she did, but there were also times when he was sure she didn’t have a clue about him or anything that was going on in his life. Or in his head. Or any of it.

He knew she tried though. And that she cared. 

The same couldn’t be said for his father. It couldn’t be said when it came to the trying part at least. His father never really seemed interested in knowing anything other than the basics. That Evan was well. Physically well. That he was doing well in school and liked science and had discovered a new band he couldn’t stop listening to.

Their conversations never really went any deeper than that. 

Which was fine with Evan because he didn’t need two parents on his case.

And he definitely didn’t want to end up being some kind of poster boy for mental health and anxiety.

Which was what he feared would happen if someone glommed onto that. 

He made a mental note to start acting extremely normal and calm around Paisley.

And around his grandmother.

He stared at his plate when he caught her studying him. He hoped it was just a ‘so this is my heir’ kind of stare. He hoped she wasn’t wondering why he was so quiet. 

He really hoped his face wasn’t doing anything weird. 

He comforted himself with the knowledge that V hadn’t really said anything either. 

V wasn’t having trouble making eye contact though. Or keeping his head up. Or looking like he was fascinated by everything everyone was saying.

Not for the first time, Evan wondered exactly what everyone else’s dossier said about him.

It was a weird way to get to know your family. It was weirdly personal and impersonal at the same time. 

He wondered if his grandmother’s dossier contained more information than everyone else’s. He bet it did. 

He didn’t want to think about that.

She was the first one to leave the barbecue.

Probably because casual gathering or not, no one dared to leave before the queen.

She said that she was going to go check on Tony, her husband, and told her children to come say good night before they went to bed.

Something about her tone struck Evan as odd. He turned on his father as soon as she was gone. “He’s the one who’s dying, isn’t he?”

The question came out louder than he’d anticipated. Or maybe it was just quieter than he’d thought. Maybe everyone was still recovering from the queen’s departure.

They all turned to stare.

Evan ignored that. “I heard you. When you were talking to Mom, I heard you. You said-”

“We’re all dying,” Dan said quickly. He gave Evan a tight smile. “Technically.”

Evan decided it would be in his best interest to drop it.

It was a relief in a way. The queen wasn’t dying. Not seriously anyway. 

He wasn’t in immediate danger of being bumped up to first in line for the throne.

He decided it would be in his best interest not to tell his mother. He could cope with it. She couldn’t. He just felt like he’d sort of, kind of, been manipulated into coming to Zenovia. 

She’d start a war.

V cut him off on the stairs. It happened so quickly he had to grab the railing for support.

V didn’t notice or, if he did, he didn’t react. He was too busy checking his phone. “They’ve moved onto a pub on...” V’s tongue poked out of the side of his mouth. “However you say that.” He held his phone up long enough for Evan to see the street name.

Evan didn’t know how to say it either. He didn’t even know what they were talking about. 

V’s eyes lit up like he got that. “The twins and their friends. Do you want to go?” He sighed when Evan didn’t respond. “I’m going.”

“Is that allowed?”

“I’ll take a guard,” V shrugged. “Two if you go.”

Evan didn’t want to go. 

V pursed his lips like he got that too. “Don’t you want to meet them before you pick one?”

Evan didn’t follow that at all. “Pick who for what?”

“You didn’t get the email?”

Evan hadn’t checked his email all day. He hadn’t finished checking it. He’d spent a good portion of the afternoon reading Connor’s messages and that was it.

He should’ve known better. People in the palace loved to send important news via email. It was either that or they left a scroll on everyone’s door.

“I assumed you got one too,” V said. “I have to pick a date for the Coronation Ball.”

Evan gripped the railing a bit tighter. “What? Why?”

“An escort, technically.” V’s mouth twitched. “Someone for me to escort. For pictures and stuff.”

Pictures. There would be pictures.

That was great because Evan had such wonderful luck with pictures.

With any luck, he’d inspire a whole zoo of memes by the time he went home.

“My mom said she got them to put some guys on your list, but maybe she was joking. Maybe you don’t have a list since you’re, like, an actual heir or whatever.”

Evan reached for his phone, only to remember he’d left it in his room.

Because of the queen. Because he didn’t need Paisley to tell him it would be rude to be glued to a screen when the queen was around.

V misunderstood his panic. Partially misunderstood it. “It doesn’t say you’re bi in the dossier.”

Evan didn’t know if that made him feel better or worse. ”How-”

“Your dad called my mom after you told him.” V chuckled at the memory. “He wanted to make sure he’d reacted appropriately.”

Evan closed his eyes and tried to breathe. He’d mentioned it in passing. Mentioned made it sound more casual than it really was. Blurted it out while talking at full speed about four different things was more like it. 

He could barely remember how his dad had reacted. He didn’t even think there had been a reaction. He hadn’t thought his dad had cared. The only difference he’d noticed was that his father had started asking if there was anyone he was interested in instead of asking about the girls he had crushes on.

“It was all my moms would talk about for a week,” V went on. “I was kind of jealous, actually, because that’s the one way I’ve disappointed them.” He shook his head sadly. “Straight but not narrow. They keep hoping it’s just a phase.” 

He smiled like it was a joke, but his eyes suggested there was some truth to it. Or that he thought there was anyway.

Evan swallowed several times before he managed to point up the stairs. “I’m just going to...”

“You sure you don’t want to go? Icky promised she’d get some of my candidates to come out tonight. I’m sure she can do the same for you. I don’t know about you, but I’d actually like to meet the girl I’m going to be paired up with before the palace sends her an official invitation.”

Every part of that question made Evan’s head spin.

V turned away like he got that. “I’ll text you our location in case you change your mind.”

Evan wasn’t going to change his mind. They both knew that.

He went back to his room and closed himself in for the night.

He didn’t know why he was surprised V had decided to go out after all. They barely had anything in common. They’d only been palling around because they hadn’t had any other options.

V had other options now. Bright, shiny, fun options who would do the bright, shiny, fun things he wanted to do. 

Evan threw himself on his bed and opened his email. He went straight to the one from Marvin, the guy he was pretty sure was Paisley’s boss.

It contained a dossier on twelve potential dates. Six females, six males. They were all photogenic and respectable and had titles that made his head hurt even more.

His phone rang when he got to the fourth page. He rolled over and groaned into it when he answered. 

There was a pause before Connor started to laugh. “What was that? You didn’t pocket answer, did you, because if you did then never mind. I don’t want to know.”

“I didn’t pocket answer.”

“Okay.” 

Evan sighed into the phone. “I need a date for the Coronation Ball.”

There was a long pause that time.

So long that Evan was able to replay what he’d said and understand why Connor wasn’t talking. “I’m not asking you. I’m just saying I need a date. In general.”

Another pause. Not as long, thankfully. “I bet Zoe would go with you.”

Zoe. Evan hadn’t even thought about her. She wasn’t on his list, but he could make it work. Maybe. Possibly.

He could appeal to his father’s paternal instincts.

Remind him about how he’d had a crush on Zoe, except he would make it seem like it was an ongoing thing.

Zoe would be a fun date. He wouldn’t spend the whole night trying to hide from her.

The only problem was the picture. If someone put two and two together and realized she was the girl in the picture, it would mean something. He wasn’t sure what. 

People would think they were going out. Or that Zoe was a gold digger. Or something.

He couldn’t do that to her.

“I have a list of candidates to choose from. It was someone’s job to put together a whole document with pictures and bios of the eligible nobles who would be honored to go out with me.”

“You have to ask out a stranger?” Connor snorted.

“I think Paisley will be doing the actual asking.”

“Paisley?”

“Or someone from the palace. V mentioned something about an official invitation being sent.”

“Okay, so...”

Evan grabbed at his hair. “I think I’m going to be sick.”

“The choices are that bad?”

“They’re not bad. They’re...” They were beautiful. Every single one of them. He would look like a troll by comparison.

“Do you want me to pick for you?”

“You’d do that?”

“Send them over. Zoe and I will take a look.” Connor paused for a second. “Unless you don’t want Zoe to be involved.”

“No,” Evan said quickly. He forwarded the list before he could change his mind. “That’s fine. You don’t have anything else to do?”

Connor had made it sound like his parents had planned every minute of their trip down to the second.

“Our parents went to a show, so we’re sitting around eating ice cream in our pajamas.”

“And watching your stupid soap,” Zoe yelled in the background.

Their soap. Evan was suddenly overwhelmed with the need to watch it too. “Which episode?”

“The one where Madeline gets chased by the wolf. We just started it.”

Evan closed his email and pulled up the show. “Okay, give me a second.”

He settled back into his pillows when the theme song started to play. “We should watch the one where the twins crash their golf carts next.”

Connor hummed at that. “Zoe’s rolling her eyes.”

Evan grinned because it didn’t matter. “Tell her no talking until the wolf comes out.”

Connor managed to communicate that without saying a word.

Evan’s phone buzzed an hour after he’d drifted off. 

The message was short and to the point.

_Lady Elissa_

He sent his pick to Marvin before he could overthink it.


	5. Summer After Freshman Year - Coronation Week

The realization of who Lady Elissa reminded him of hit Evan so suddenly he nearly slammed his laptop shut.

Nearly but not actually because there was no way he was missing a second of the alien invasion.

“She looks like Yvette.”

There was a pause while Connor tried to follow that. “The alien queen? Do you think they’re sisters or something? I wouldn’t put it past the writers to pull something like that.”

“Lady Elissa.”

“You think Lady Elissa looks like the alien queen?”

Evan sighed into the phone. He couldn’t tell if Connor was being difficult on purpose, but it was annoying either way. “Lady Elissa looks like Yvette.”

Another pause. “I don’t see it.”

“They could be twins!”

“Not twins. Cousins, maybe.”

“So you do see it!”

It was Connor’s turn to sigh. “There’s a slight resemblance.”

“Is that why you picked her?” He rubbed his eyes when the camera focused on Yvette again.

The resemblance was uncanny.

“I picked her because she’s the safest choice.”

He had a point. Evan knew that. He’d gone over his choices enough times to know that Connor and Zoe had picked the right one. 

He’d spent hours clicking around the gossip blog Zoe had found. 

Lady Elissa was hardly mentioned on it. Which either meant that her reputation was squeaky clean or she was a total homebody. Or both. 

One of the few articles he’d seen about her mentioned that she was planning to become a mathematician. 

Evan thought it was safe to say that meant she wasn’t part of Icky’s crowd.

“Was there someone else you had your eye on?” Connor asked. “Lady Petra seems fun.”

Evan snorted at that. “Right, because my idea of fun is going out with someone who’s photographed stumbling out of a different club every night.”

“And flashing her underwear as she falls into her car. Zoe thought the purple pair she wore last week was really cute.”

Evan scratched his neck and tried to ignore how hot his face felt.

“None of the male candidates were serious options. You noticed that, didn’t you?”

“Yeah,” Evan mumbled.

Four of the male candidates lived in different countries. Two of them were not what Evan would consider age-appropriate. One was in a serious relationship. 

He wasn’t sure if he should be upset about that or happy that they tried.

Or both. He was leaning towards both.

And neither because the whole thing really freaked him out. He didn’t understand why he couldn’t just go to the ball by himself. It wasn’t like he was planning to stay there very long, not if he could get away with ducking out early. 

“Lady Elissa seems decent. Zoe found an article about an essay contest she won in high school.”

Evan nodded because he’d seen it too. “Yeah.”

“Just look at this as a really weird, formal, public version of online dating.”

“It isn’t really a date though. We just have to stand together for pictures and stuff.” 

He kept telling himself that. The more he thought it, the more he felt it, the more he hoped he was right.

“Your mom gets in tomorrow, doesn’t she?”

“Tomorrow morning, yeah.”

“Are they making her take a date?”

Evan hadn’t even thought of that. He kind of hoped they were. The thought of his mother being stuck with some stuffy, old earl amused him for some reason.

It made him feel a little less alone.

His mother wasn’t alone.

It took him an embarrassingly long time to figure that out, to realize that the guy helping her with her bags was not a guard he’d never seen. A guard who had driven separately and gotten to the airport before Evan’s group and didn’t stick to the standard dress code.

He realized how ridiculous that idea was when it finished forming in his head.

The man had obviously come with his mother. He was her friend. Her boyfriend? 

The guy she’d brought with her. The guy who had just flown across the world with her. 

The guy Evan had never seen or heard of before.

His name was Geoff. 

And that was all the information Evan could handle on an empty stomach.

He made that clear by popping his earbuds in as soon as he got back in the car.

He went straight to his prince lesson when they reached the palace. He didn’t give his mother a chance to explain. He didn’t allow Geoff to feel like the better person by giving them some space.

He went straight to the makeshift classroom and half-listened while Paisley prattled on about the proper way to shake someone’s hand.

He spent his break rereading every text his mother had sent him since he’d arrived in Zenovia. 

She hadn’t said anything about Geoff.

That wasn’t a surprise. He’d known she hadn’t. He would’ve picked up on it if she’d mentioned Geoff’s name.

He tried to read between the lines, to look for any messages where she’d used the word “we.” 

There were none to be found.

That was all he needed to know. That gave him all the ammunition he needed.

They had lunch in the solarium. 

Just the two of them. 

Evan narrowed his eyes when he saw that was the case. “Where’s Geoff?”

“He went into town,” Heidi said. She glanced around while she sipped her iced tea. “I can see why you like it in here.”

Evan barely heard her. He decided to get right to the point. “Why didn’t you tell me he was coming?”

For a second, he thought she was going to deny it, to claim she had told him, that he must not have been listening. As usual.

She put her glass down and clasped her hands together. “I wasn’t sure how.”

“To tell me you have a boyfriend?” He shoved his sandwich in his mouth when she didn’t deny it.

She smiled sheepishly. “I messed up, I know. There isn’t anything in any of my parenting books about how to tell your adult child that you’ve started dating again.”

Evan blinked at his plate before meeting her stare. “You have parenting books?”

Heidi let out a startled laugh. “They’re not very useful once you make it through the first year.”

“How long have you been seeing him?”

“Not long.” She sipped her tea when he didn’t look away. “About a month.”

“One month?” Evan laughed. “One month and he agreed to fly across the world with you?”

“Maggie guilted him into it.” She smiled at Evan’s confusion. “She set us up. Geoff’s friends with her brother. She told him he had to come with me because there was no way she was letting me face this alone.”

She wouldn’t have been alone. 

Evan didn’t bother pointing that out.

He ignored the way she was tilting her head at him. “Why didn’t she come then?”

“Maggie?” Heidi grinned. “She wanted to. She even tried to save up for a ticket. Your dad knows her though. She didn’t want me to feel pathetically single because I had to bring my best friend. Her words, not mine.”

“You could’ve said she was your girlfriend. It would’ve been like a fanfic. Fake Relationship with a side of Friends to Lovers.”

She smiled like she understood maybe half of what he’d said. “We thought about it. Well, Maggie thought about it. She decided it would make more sense for Geoff to come since...”

Since they were serious. Or getting serious. 

There wasn’t anything in her parenting books about how to tell her adult child she was in the first serious relationship she’d been in since her divorce.

He willing to bet that was the case.

He was also willing to bet there was something in the books about how to tell a young child. It probably involved a teddy bear.

“I’m going to the ball with Lady Elissa Watson.”

Heidi nodded slightly. “I saw that.”

Evan’s heart skipped a beat. “You saw it?”

“Jared showed me how to set up a Google alert for you.”

Of course, he had.

Evan squeezed his eyes shut. That meant Jared had set one up for himself too.

That was enough to ruin Evan’s day.

The media training portion of his prince lessons was the worst. It was scary and overwhelming and hard.

It was also the most important. The most necessary. 

For Evan, at least.

Icky and Frederick were used to the attention. Frederick tolerated it. Icky alternated between relishing it and seeing it as an annoying bug that refused to leave her alone.

V was a natural. His smile improved every picture he was in, even the ones where he wasn’t the focus.

Evan was Evan. 

He tried not to grimace or do anything weird during the practice photoshoot Paisley arranged. 

He tried to do as he was told and have fun. He tried to relax when he realized having fun wasn’t an option. Not for him. Not while his heart was pounding and his head was spinning and he was hyperaware of everything that was happening.

He stood behind V when all else failed.

That too was not an option. 

He tried to tell himself that the practice photoshoot was just that. Practice. 

It wasn’t even a realistic practice. The actual photoshoot following the coronation would involve more people. A lot more people. 

The four of them would be placed off to the side somewhere.

Well, two of them would. The twins weren’t even sure if they were going to be in it.

Evan and V would be. V could probably get away with standing off to the side, but Evan knew he couldn’t. He’d probably be in the middle, right next to his father.

At least he wouldn’t have to speak to anyone. Paisley had made that clear. There wouldn’t be any interviews before or after the coronation. They just had to watch the ceremony, pose for a quick picture, and leave.

That was it.

She made it sound so simple.

She made it sound like the ball was the real event. Her face lit up whenever she mentioned it. Evan wasn’t sure if she was really excited about it or if she thought they were.

He was pretty sure he wasn’t the only one humoring her about that. 

“I just spent two hours learning the proper way to sit in a chair.”

Evan couldn’t help chuckling when he spotted his mother standing outside the makeshift classroom. She looked like she’d been through the wringer even more than he had. “You’ve been doing it wrong all these years?”

Heidi rolled her eyes. “Apparently.” She nudged his arm when she reached him. “You want to play hooky with me?”

“Hooky from what?” Evan blinked.

His mother looked like a feather could have knocked her over. “Do you actually have a free afternoon?” She slapped a hand over her mouth. “Shit. I shouldn’t have said that out loud. Someone’s going to come along and insist you go to a crown fitting now, aren’t they?”

“I had a crown fitting this morning,” Evan deadpanned. He grinned when she tried to figure out if he was kidding. “It took you two hours to master the chair thing? It only took me one.”

His grin widened when she reached up to flick his ear.

She gestured at her outfit. “Try doing it in a skirt.”

She had him there. She definitely had it harder than he did when it came to all that. He knew for a fact his mother was not a skirt person. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen her wear one. 

“Why are you doing this?”

The question flew out of him without warning.

He didn’t know why he’d asked it. He knew why she was there. She hadn’t come to Zenovia because she was bored. She wasn’t there because she’d felt a sudden need to travel and see the world. She wasn’t dying to see her former mother-in-law become queen. And she definitely wasn’t there for his father’s sake. Her ex’s reputation didn’t mean anything to her. 

She was there for him, for her son, because she thought he needed her. 

It really was as simple as that.

She smiled like she got that. She knew he knew. 

She cleared her throat. “They’re paying me.”

“They’re paying you?” Evan gasped.

“Your father arranged it when I told him I’d have to take time off without pay.” She leaned over to whisper in his ear. “I may have exaggerated a bit when he asked about my salary.”

Evan raised his eyebrows. “Just a bit?”

“A tiny bit,” Heidi winked. She rubbed her hands together. “So, a free afternoon, huh? Where should we go?”

“The pool?” Evan shrugged.

He could hear Liam and Ella splashing around in the distance. He was half-convinced his siblings were determined to turn into merpeople before they went home.

If they went home. He knew that was the main reason his father and Lisa kept arguing.

He blinked when he saw the way his mother was staring at him. “What?”

“Have you been out at all?”

Evan shrugged again. “Not really.”

“Not at all,” Heidi sighed. “Don’t you want to see the land you’re going to rule?”

“I don’t know if I’m going to-”

“Don’t you want to see it before you make a decision?”

She had a point. 

Her face lit up when she saw he got it. “I’ll go see if we can borrow a guard.”

Zenovia was a tiny country. Really tiny. It was no wonder Evan had never heard of it. 

It was possible to drive around the entire country in less than an hour.

Which was what they did because that was all they were allowed to do. For safety reasons. Because Coronation Fever was real and taking the tiny nation by storm.

The streets were lined with vendors selling everything from t-shirts to balloons to shot glasses. Most of them featured the official picture of his grandmother that the palace had approved. There were some unofficial photos floating around too though. 

Which meant that every member of the royal family was seen as fair game.

Icky clearly had her share of fans. So did Phillip.

Evan slid down in his seat when he spotted a boy wearing a shirt with his meme on it. APE. Awkward Prince Evan. He was never going to live that down.

It wasn’t a surprise. Not a total one anyway. He’d known the shirt was being sold. Jared had posted a selfie in one.

There was a difference between seeing it on Jared and seeing it in person though. He’d been hoping that the Jared thing was a joke. It wouldn’t have surprised him if Jared had gone and gotten the shirt made just to torment him.

His mother gave him a look when she spotted the boy too. She didn’t say a word.

That was a relief. He wasn’t in the mood for a pep talk. 

He closed his eyes and breathed when the driver turned left and they were surrounded by fields again.

The driver smiled knowingly at the rearview mirror. “That was the commercial district.”

The entire commercial district fit onto one street. One small street. The rest of the country seemed to consist of forests and fields.

It was straight out of a fairy tale. Or a Hallmark movie.

It was pretty and peaceful and real. 

Seeing it made it real. It reminded him that there was more to the prince thing than sitting in a chair properly.

Not a lot more, but still. 

Zenovia was a country. An actual country. An actual country with an actual king or queen who occasionally did things that weren’t strictly ceremonial. 

He didn’t think he could handle that.

He didn’t think he could handle any of it.

He didn’t want to be APE. He wondered if he would still be APE when he went back home. He couldn’t get a sense of how far the story had spread.

He couldn’t tell if it had blown up everywhere or just among the people who knew him. The ones who’d heard of him. The ones who thought they’d maybe, possibly, sat behind him in chemistry class.

He couldn’t tell if people were still interested in his family or if the story had just been a flash in the pan.

He hadn’t been able to make himself check. 

He needed to know though. He knew he needed to know. It would eat away at him if he didn’t ask.

He scratched the back of his neck and focused on the trees. “Jared has that shirt.”

His mother didn’t say anything for a minute.

She understood him though. He didn’t need to look at her to know she knew what he was talking about.

“Are people talking about me back home?” Evan cleared his throat. “About this? About...”

“There was a story about you on channel 11.”

Evan nodded slightly. That didn’t mean anything. No one he knew watched the news.

Except Alana Beck. He bet Alana Beck watched the news. 

She probably devoured the news in all its forms.

He really needed to answer her email. Emails. There had been more than one.

Answering them required him to open them though and he wasn’t sure if he wanted to know why Alana had been writing to him every day. 

He couldn’t imagine what was so important that she felt the need to keep emailing him about it. They barely knew each other. He didn’t even know how she’d gotten his email address.

Or, actually, he did. Connor had probably given it to her. They’d interned together for a few weeks before Connor left for his trip. 

Evan knew they were friends. Or something that resembled friends. 

He hadn’t known they were close enough that Connor felt comfortable giving her his email address without checking first. 

He tried not to let himself feel like he’d been betrayed.

It was always possible she’d gotten it from Jared after all. 

Or it was just one of those things she knew because she was Alana Beck.

“Maggie keeps mentioning your name to try to drum up some business for her store.”

Evan chuckled at that. “Is it working?”

Heidi shook her head. “She wants you to do an ad for her when you get back.” She smiled at his panic. “I already told her no.”

That was a relief. It was hard to say no to Maggie when she got something in her head. 

The ad would’ve been a disaster and not just because he would’ve gotten in trouble with the palace for doing it. Whatever Maggie had in mind would’ve been terrible. It would’ve been like APE on steroids. 

He hated to think about the memes that would’ve inspired. 

He pulled himself away from the window when he realized they were slowing down. 

The driver was saying something.

Something that Evan probably should be listening to.

It was hard to listen when he spotted the palace.

The real palace. The regular one. 

The one where he’d live if he said yes to the crown.

His brain couldn’t process that.

His mother made a noise that was almost a laugh but not quite. “I think now would be a good time to tell you you won’t be inheriting anything like that from my side of the family.”

Evan tried to look her in the eye but couldn’t. 

She was too busy staring at the gates to notice.

“The most I can offer you is an antique chess set your grandfather bought at a yard sale. He always swore it was worth a fortune.”

Her tone was light. Her face was light. 

Her eyes were not.

Evan swallowed sharply.

She changed the subject before he could respond, before he could even think of a way to respond.

She asked the driver a question he didn’t catch.

He didn’t catch the answer either.

He watched the palace until it was out of sight.

The banging on his door was so loud he didn’t just hear it. He felt it. 

The door flew open before he could worry about it, before he could find a place to hide.

Which meant he was caught in an awkward half-on, half-off the bed position when his cousins burst in. 

Icky picked his jacket off the couch and tossed it at him. “Get in, loser. We’re going out.” 

She rolled her eyes when Evan checked the time. “Coronation’s in twelve hours. I need to blow off some steam if I’m going to be good all day.”

It wasn’t lost on Evan that she used air quotes around the word ‘good.’

V gave him a weak smile. “You don’t have to-”

“Yes, he does,” Icky snapped. “People are starting to get insulted that he hasn’t-”

“Who?” Frederick demanded. “Who is he insulting by staying in?”

Icky flicked her hand dismissively. “We’re not going out-out. Just to a friend’s house.”

That didn’t make Evan feel any better.

Judging from the way Frederick was frowning, he had a feeling his gut was right.

The girl who opened the door laughed when she spotted Evan. He didn’t think he was imagining the fact that his presence was what was making her laugh.

Because she recognized him? Because he had something on his face?

He lifted a hand to check.

“Come to see what you’re missing?”

He stumbled back onto V when the girl started to lift her shirt.

Icky leapt forward to pull it back down. For a second, they engaged in an awkward sort of tug of war over the girl’s hoodie.

The girl sighed and let go when it became clear that Icky wasn’t going to. She nodded for the group to follow her in.

Evan recognized her when she turned around. His face went red when he realized why.

Lady Petra.

She wasn’t wearing any makeup. He tried to tell himself that was why he hadn’t recognized her right away. 

It wasn’t that he’d paid more attention to her ass than to her face. It was that she looked like a different person when she wasn’t all dolled up.

He tried to look on the bright side. The fact that she was wearing yoga pants probably meant he was in for a fairly lowkey night.

His suspicion was confirmed when he saw there were only five other people in Petra’s living room.

It was a relief until it wasn’t.

All eyes were on him. 

He muttered something about needing the bathroom. He didn’t wait to hear where he might find one.

No one followed him back down the hall. He hadn’t actually expected them to.

He found a bathroom by mistake and locked himself inside.

He sat on the edge of the tub and checked his phone.

Ryan had finally found his lucky keychain.

Seth’s family’s restaurant was having a special coronation-themed dinner. He wanted Evan to make a virtual appearance. Evan blamed his refusal on the time difference without bothering to do the math.

Jared had bought a hat to match his shirt. 

Connor had spent the day obsessively photographing every inch of the garden he’d been dragged to so that he could avoid talking to his family. 

Evan spent several minutes scrolling through the pictures before moving onto another email.

He decided it was time to open Alana’s. One of Alana’s.

He only opened one.

He didn’t even make it through the whole thing.

Alana had decided to switch schools. Because of him. Because she wanted to offer up her services. She’d sent her resume and everything.

He closed the email before he could figure out exactly what kind of service she thought she could provide.

He took a breath and stood up.

He needed to go back.

He didn’t know Icky’s friends. He didn’t trust them. He didn’t know if they were the type to leak stories to the press. 

Or to live their lives on social media.

That seemed more likely, actually.

He didn’t want to become a headline. He didn’t want people to think he was in the bathroom having explosive diarrhea.

Or snorting something.

He wasn’t sure which was worse.

He should’ve put up a fight when Icky forced him out the door. He should’ve claimed he had plans with his mom. He could’ve had plans with his mom if he’d been willing to be a third wheel on her date with Geoff. 

He should’ve said he had to babysit the kids or learn how to hold a fork or do something, anything, that didn’t sound like what he’d actually been planning to do.

Which was a whole lot of nothing.

He’d been looking forward to it.

He wasn’t looking forward to going back to the living room and pretending everyone wasn’t watching him.

He did it anyway.

He sat on the floor next to V and shook his head when Icky offered him a drink.

Petra leaned over the couch so that her hair was in his face. “So, Elissa, huh?”

Evan pressed his lips together.

He didn’t know what to say.

It didn’t matter. 

Petra wasn’t looking for a response. She laughed as she pulled herself back up. “We would’ve had so much fun.”

Icky sighed when Petra gave her a look. “He didn’t ask me who he should take!”

Evan kept his eyes on his hands. He had a feeling they had a very different definition of the word ‘fun.’

The conversation moved on.

Frederick made it move on.

He asked Petra about her dog or her horse or her boat. Evan couldn’t tell which.

It didn’t take long for him to feel lost. Completely lost. He didn’t understand anything anyone was saying.

He said yes the next time Icky dangled a bottle in front of him.

Evan slept through his first alarm.

He slept through all four of his alarms.

He didn’t wake up until his mother pulled his covers off him.

It was like he was in middle school again.

He sat up and rubbed his eyes and blinked when he saw both of his parents were staring at him.

Not staring. Scowling.

Scowling in his father’s case. His mother just looked concerned. And slightly amused.

“We have to leave in twenty minutes.”

Evan didn’t think he’d ever heard his father’s voice sound that tight.

He looked at his mother when his father left.

He didn’t say anything. He didn’t want to know what had caused his father’s mood.

He automatically lifted his hand when his mother held out a bottle of Tylenol.

At least one of them was smiling. 

He swallowed the pills with the water she pulled out of nowhere. 

It was good in a way. It was a good thing he was too tired and groggy and sore to worry about what was coming.

“What time did you get in?”

“Late,” Evan mumbled.

He rubbed his forehead and fought the urge to fall back onto his pillows.

“Your father’s been checking the news all morning. He’s afraid there’s going to be a story that will overshadow the coronation.”

A story about him. A scandalous story about him.

He was awake enough to understand that.

“There won’t be,” Evan promised.

He couldn’t remember everything about the night before. He was tired and his brain was tired and everything felt a bit blurry.

He hadn’t blacked out though. He remembered lying on Petra’s floor and watching a Zenovian children’s program that Icky said only made sense when you were drunk and/or high.

She’d decided to test that theory by using Evan and V as her guinea pigs. She’d documented their reactions to the show as the night went on and the amount of alcohol in their systems went up. 

V still hadn’t understood it. Evan had. 

Probably because his soap had trained him to understand the unexplainable. 

He decided to explain that to his mother. “It was for science.”

She nodded like she got it, even though he was pretty sure she didn’t. She reached out to help him to his feet. “Twenty minutes.”

Evan rubbed his eyes. “Twenty minutes.”

The coronation went off without a hitch.

Evan managed to sit in his chair properly. So did his mother.

So did V, which was a huge accomplishment considering how hungover he was.

Evan didn’t feel nearly as bad as V looked. 

It was a good thing the cameras weren’t focused on them. 

The photoshoot after the ceremony was relatively painless. Evan tried to remember everything Paisley had told him. And then he tried to forget everything Paisley had told him because he thought that thinking about his prince lessons was making his face do something weird.

He had the afternoon off so he could get ready for the ball. He planned to spend it sleeping.

He needed to spend it sleeping.

He set seven alarms to play it safe.

Lady Elissa was waiting for him when he came downstairs.

It was one of the most awkward moments of his life.

He knew her, she knew him. They’d never officially met.

Or spoken. Or done anything to justify the information they knew about each other.

Because he was sure it went both ways. She had definitely looked him up.

He wondered where she stood on the whole APE thing.

He pushed that thought away as quickly as he could. Thinking about APE would make him have another APE moment. He wondered what animal the internet people would use next.

He gave Elissa what he hoped was a smile. She returned it with one of her own, so he thought that meant he’d been successful.

Or that she could tell what he’d been going for.

Paisley sprang into action the second he stepped forward. She didn’t bother introducing them to each other. She simply tapped her watch and muttered something about staggered entrances and practically pushed them out the door.

There were three cars lined up in the driveway. Evan started towards the first one automatically.

His instincts were right. The driver stepped out and went around to open the door for them. There was a brief moment of silence while he walked back around the car.

Evan didn’t say anything and neither did Elissa.

They both stared at the driver when he got back in.

He didn’t say anything either.

Evan wondered if he could ask him to put on the radio. Except he didn’t know any of the Zenovian stations or what kind of music Elissa liked or if it would be considered inappropriate for him to ask for some reason.

The silence was deafening.

At least it was a short drive. It only took fifteen minutes to get from the summer palace to the main palace. 

It was the longest fifteen minutes of Evan’s life. 

He stared blankly out the window until the car came to a stop. 

He forced himself to look at Elissa.

She was chewing her lip. She looked nervous. Or uncertain. Or both.

He closed his eyes and took a breath and decided not to extend his hand. He wondered if Paisley knew how to deal with sweaty palms. He wondered what she’d say if he asked.

He shoved that thought down before it turned into a spiral. “I’m Evan, by the way.”

Elissa smiled at that. “Elissa.”

Evan managed to get in a quick nod before the driver opened his door.

He didn’t have an APE moment at the ball.

There were a few close calls, but he made it through the night without doing anything meme-worthy. 

Probably because the only cameras on the premises were the official ones and it was easy for him to avoid those.

He didn’t do anything interesting enough to attract the photographers’ attention. He avoided V and Icky and his dad. He spent the majority of the night standing off to the side while various people of varying levels of importance came over to introduce themselves to him.

It was awkward in the sense that he didn’t know what to say most of the time, but it could’ve been worse. 

A lot worse.

He got through it without saying anything excessively stupid. He was pretty sure that was the case at least. 

It was late when he got in. Not too late though.

It was early enough that he was still wide awake.

He didn’t tell anyone else that. He faked a yawn and claimed he was going to bed and practically pounced on his phone the second it was back in his hand.

It started ringing before he could pull up the photos from the ball.

“I just had an idea.”

Evan blinked at the phone. Apparently, Connor was wide awake too. “What’s that?”

“You should tell people about our soap.”

“What about it?”

“That you’re a fan.”

“Why?” Evan chuckled. “To get more people to watch it?”

“That and so the writers will create a character based on you.”

Evan pulled the phone back to blink at it again.

“Don’t give me that look,” Connor huffed.

“What look?”

He didn’t have to see Connor to know he was rolling his eyes.

“How was the ball?”

Evan shrugged even though Connor couldn’t see him either.

“You looked like you were having a good time.”

Evan grabbed his laptop. He really needed to find those pictures.

“Zoe loves Elissa’s dress.”

“It was very purple.”

“Zoe likes purple.” Connor paused for a second. “You don’t like purple?”

“I don’t really have an opinion about purple.”

Connor breathed into the phone. “Did we make the right choice? About Elissa, I mean. Was she the right choice?”

“I don’t know. I guess. It’s not like I’m going to see her again though.”

“It was that bad?”

“It was that nothing. We barely even talked. I barely even saw her after the procession.”

“So, you’re saying the people who are taking bets on when you’re getting married should-”

“What?” Evan sputtered. He frantically looked that up instead.

“Did you dance with her? I’m asking for Zoe.”

Evan snorted at how quickly that last part had come out. “No.”

“They didn’t make you dance?”

“I’m a prince. They can’t make me do anything.” Evan chewed his lip. “Paisley told us not to because we haven’t learned how yet.”

Connor burst out laughing. “You have to take dance lessons too?”

“It’s on the list of things she’s planning to...” Evan grinned at the wall.

“What?” Connor demanded.

“I think we’re covering that next week.”

There was a pause while Connor worked out why that was so funny. “I’ll be there next week.”

“And, naturally, you’re going to want to attend all my lessons with me, right? I mean, what else are you going to do?”

“I can think of some things.”

“I’ll tell Paisley to factor you in.”

He was still laughing when he hung up. He tossed his phone on his bed and focused on his laptop. 

People were already speculating about what Elissa’s wedding dress would look like if she married him.

He wasn’t sure if that was better or worse than the APE meme.


	6. Summer After Freshman Year - Late July

“And this is my cousin Evan’s room. Let’s see if he’s in.” V sighed and put his phone down when he spotted Evan at the other end of the hallway. “Okay. Take two then.”

V looked so defeated that Evan felt guilty for reasons he didn’t understand. He stared at V’s phone like it was a snake or a bomb or something legitimately terrifying. Which it was. Kind of. It definitely was if he was reading the room correctly.

He swallowed sharply. “What are you doing?”

“A video for BuzzFeed.”

The words rolled off V’s tongue so quickly it was like he thought Evan already knew that.

And understood it.

And didn’t mind being recorded.

Evan decided not to go down that road yet. “Does Paisley know?”

“It was her idea,” V grinned. “Because people really seem to respond to the human aspect of all this.”

Evan got that right away.

Paisley had mentioned it on more than one occasion.

His dad had mentioned it on more than one occasion.

The meme. APE. The idea that royal families took awkward family photos too.

They had a point.

The coronation had barely made the news. Nothing about it had gone viral, not outside Zenovia at least.

The Zenovian blogs were still gushing about everyone’s outfits and wondering if there were any royal weddings in the works.

Outside of Zenovia, it was a different story. It was like the world had forgotten that Zenovia existed.

Which wasn’t really a surprise since most people didn’t know it did.

The coronation hadn’t even merited a blurb on _People_ magazine’s website.

Evan was relieved about that. 

The Zenovian tourism industry was not. They’d been hoping Coronation Fever would lead to a big bump in vacation bookings and sales.

It had not.

As far as Evan could tell, it hadn’t made a difference at all.

He felt like that was something he should care about. 

He wasn’t sure if he did.

Which was yet another reason V would’ve made a better king than he would. He wondered if anyone else had noticed that too. Scratch that. He wondered who had noticed it. 

Paisley, most likely. His grandmother, probably. His father...

His stomach twisted before he could finish that thought.

He eyed V’s phone again. “So, you’re what? Giving people a virtual tour of the palace?”

“Something like that,” V nodded. “I just recorded Ella stuffing her face with ice cream.”

And now he wanted to record Evan’s room. With Evan in it. Doing something awkward and meme-worthy, most likely.

Because Ella’s ice cream addiction, adorable as it might be, was not enough to make people want to buy Zenovian jam. 

V pointed at Evan’s door. “So, can I ask you a few questions?”

That was the last thing Evan wanted to do. He didn’t even want to answer that question. He didn’t know how to answer it in a way that wouldn’t make V look at him the way he deserved to be looked at.

Like he really was APE. Like talking turned him into the King Kong version of APE.

His phone buzzed before he could make himself feel even worse.

_We’re here._

Evan tried not to let his relief show. “My friends are here.”

He chewed his lip when he saw how disappointed V looked. “Can I answer your questions later?”

He tugged on his sleeves when he heard himself. That made it sound like he wanted to answer the questions, like answering them was a possibility, like he was just delaying the inevitable.

He didn’t want to give V false hope.

“If I have time,” he added. “I don’t know if I’ll have time because my friends are here and I should spend time with them and it’s not like I really have anything to say anyway.” 

He said the last part so quickly even he didn’t catch every word.

V looked like he got the general gist of it though. 

He didn’t follow Evan down the stairs.

Evan tried not to feel bad about that.

He didn’t have time to feel bad about it.

He didn’t have time to think about anything other than the number of people standing in the foyer.

All four Murphys. Both of his parents. Lisa. Geoff. 

Paisley.

That was the one that made Evan pause.

It wasn’t that he hated Paisley. He liked her well enough. She was a nice person and an extremely competent teacher/advisor/whatever her title was. (He really needed to figure that out.) 

Her presence was what made him pause.

No good could come from it. That was what his gut told him and he was certain it was right.

She was holding a clipboard and having a hushed conversation with his mother.

He decided to ignore that for as long as he could.

He focused on Connor instead. “Hey.”

“Hey,” Connor grinned. 

And that was it. Neither of them knew what else to say.

Probably because they were surrounded on all sides. It wasn’t like they could just run up to Evan’s room and watch their soap until its stupidity put them in a crazy plot-induced coma.

They couldn’t have made it to the stairs if they’d tried, not while Paisley was standing there with her clipboard.

Evan pretended not to see the way her hand was moving. She wanted him to come over there. 

He decided to ignore that for as long as he could.

Which was only for another second because he accidentally made eye contact with his mom.

He went over alone. Reluctantly alone. Part of him hoped Connor would follow.

He wasn’t surprised when he didn’t.

Paisley was on the phone when he got there. She was speaking very quickly in a no-nonsense tone. 

He didn’t bother trying to decipher her words. He didn’t really want to know what she was saying.

And he was sure he’d find out soon enough.

His mother leaned forward to cough in his ear. “Photo op.”

Of course.

He should’ve known.

This was the palace’s last chance to make them look like they were one big, happy family.

Paisley attempted a smile when she hung up. “We’re all set.” She nodded at Dan. “If you’ll just...” She gestured at Heidi’s bag like she was incapable of asking a prince to carry it. “For appearances’ sake.” 

Heidi gripped her carry-on a bit tighter.

“I’m not going to drop it,” Dan huffed.

The room went still. It was like all the air had been sucked out of it.

Evan was seven again. He knew that look. Both of those looks. 

It was the calm before the storm.

Paisley mumbled something about checking the light outside and hightailed it out of there.

Evan couldn’t blame her.

The déjà vu was so strong he almost forgot where he was. Almost being the keyword. The sound of the church bells ringing in the distance snapped him back to reality.

It didn’t have the same effect on his parents.

It was a good thing Paisley hadn’t arranged for them to do an indoor photoshoot too. 

Evan decided to end his parents’ fight before it stopped being a silent one. “I’ll carry it.”

The offer sounded weak, even to him.

Especially to him.

His mother handed him the bag without dropping her gaze. She grinned when Dan blinked. “Ha!”

Her laughter made Evan let go of the bag. He caught it at the last second.

The mood shifted so quickly it made his head spin.

“That doesn’t count,” Dan hissed. 

There wasn’t any malice in Dan’s tone. Evan tilted his head when he realized that. His father looked like he was trying not to laugh.

His mother wasn’t trying at all. “Once the champion, always the champion!”

“Something flew in my eye!”

Heidi shook her head at him. “Always an excuse.”

Dan pretended to glare at the door. “Let’s get this over with.”

Evan practically melted with relief when they were done. 

His mother squeezed his arm like she knew what he was thinking. She didn’t say a word.

He was grateful for that.

There were people everywhere. Not a lot of them but enough that he really didn’t feel like insisting he was fine when he clearly wasn’t. He didn’t feel like putting on a show, not for the photographer or Paisley or the nameless assistant who kept trying to blot his face.

He wondered if he’d ever get used to having his picture taken. He wondered if he wanted to get used to it.

It occurred to him that he couldn’t remember the last time he’d had his picture taken with his parents. With just his parents. The ones at the ball didn’t count because of Lisa and Geoff and the kids.

He forced his brain to focus on that instead of the expressions he may or may not have made during the photoshoot.

He focused on it until he realized that focusing on it was even worse than visualizing the pictures.

Focusing on it reminded him of all the things his father had missed. Little things and big things. So many things. His father hadn’t even made it to his high school graduation. Maggie had taken his place. She’d given him bunny ears or pinched his cheek in every picture they took.

It had been annoying and embarrassing and all kinds of weird, but at least his smile had been genuine, unlike the ones he’d forced out during the photoshoot. He just hoped those smiles hadn’t been awkward enough to generate more memes. 

He pushed that thought out of his head. He forced himself to be in the moment. He blinked when he realized his father was trying to ask him something.

Not trying. His father had asked him something.

Something that was making his mother scowl. 

He cleared his throat and scratched his neck and didn’t bother hiding the fact that he hadn’t been paying attention. “Sorry, what?”

“I was just wondering if-”

“No,” Heidi snapped. “The answer is no.”

“He’s nineteen,” Dan smirked. “He doesn’t need your permission.”

Heidi took a step forward. “Don’t you think you should’ve run this by me before-”

“He’s nineteen.”

The air went still.

His father didn’t blink. There was nothing funny about his parents’ staring contest that time.

Heidi looked away first. She focused on Evan and ignored Dan. “Your father thinks you should take a semester off and stay in Zenovia.”

“That’s not what I said,” Dan chuckled. “We have schools here. I know for a fact they’d all love the opportunity to educate the future king.”

Future king.

Something twisted in Evan’s stomach.

He had to go. He had to get out of there before he said something he’d regret. Before he agreed to something he’d regret.

He pointed at the door. “I should...”

He didn’t bother finishing that thought. He left before his parents could get another word in.

The foyer was empty.

He wasn’t sure if he was relieved to see that.

On the one hand, he wanted to be alone. 

On the other hand, he wondered where Connor was. 

Where everyone was. 

He had a feeling Lisa was giving them a tour. 

He wasn’t in the mood to find out if he was right.

He crept up the stairs and looked both ways before running to his room. The coast was clear. No V, no Paisley, no tour group admiring the palace’s many tapestries. 

Just his best friend glaring at the bust of King Frederick like it had tried to attack him.

“I think this thing is possessed.”

Evan let out a startled laugh. He didn’t know why he was surprised. He should’ve known it wouldn’t take Connor long to ditch his family. “Because of the eyes?”

Connor waved his finger in front of it. “I swear I saw them move.”

“I thought they were glowing the other night, but it was just the moon.”

“That’s what it wants you to think.” Connor gave the statue a parting slap and followed Evan into his room. “So.”

“So?”

“There’s a monkey in the basement?”

Evan couldn’t even begin to imagine what that was a euphemism for. “What?”

“That’s what she said.” Connor chuckled at Evan’s confusion. “Your stepmother.”

“Oh,” Evan muttered. “She does that. She... Lisa has a tendency to mix things up.”

“What did she mean to say?”

Evan closed his eyes and shrugged. “I have no idea.”

“Because she definitely said there’s a monkey in the basement.”

“I believe you! Lisa’s not exactly the...” Evan’s mouth snapped shut when his brain caught up with it. 

Connor smirked like he knew what he’d been about to say.

Evan scratched his neck and cleared his throat. It was one thing for his mother to make snarky comments about Lisa’s lack of intelligence. It was another thing when he did it. 

He didn’t hate Lisa the way his mother did. He didn’t hate her at all. He didn’t think she was trampy or stupid or any of the more colorful words Maggie liked to use after she’d finished her fourth glass of wine. 

Lisa had always been polite to him. Not nice, exactly, but not mean. Never mean or rude or anything like that. 

Polite. 

She was good at being polite. She was going to make a great trophy queen. Pretty and polite and unopinionated - when it came to political affairs, at least.

His mother would have struggled with that last part.

He was going to struggle with that last part. 

He had opinions. He had a lot of opinions. He didn’t always like sharing them, but they were there. 

He wasn’t sure what terrified him more – the thought of suppressing his opinions because they might embarrass the palace or the fact that he was in a position where he could put his ideas to use. Where he could be forced to put them to use. Where he could actually make a difference in other people’s lives. A good difference. Or a bad. Probably a bad. A really bad difference. He...

He didn’t like thinking about that at all. 

He stopped himself before he could start to spiral. He decided not to worry about it. That was a problem for another day. A distant day. A day that would never arrive if he decided to refuse the crown.

“-I’ve ever seen.”

Evan blinked when he snapped back to reality. “What?”

“That silk tapestry hanging by the waterfall. That has got to be the ugliest thing I’ve ever seen in my life.”

“Yeah,” Evan chuckled. “It looks like someone-”

“Shit,” Connor grinned. “It looks like someone threw a pile of shit at it.” Connor’s grin widened. “Maybe that’s what your stepmother was saying about the monkey in the basement.”

“There is no monkey in the basement.”

“She wants it.”

Evan blinked again. “The monkey?”

He blinked even harder when he realized he wasn’t sure who ‘she’ was.

“The tapestry. My mom wants it for Zoe’s dorm. She asked your stepmother if it’s available in the gift shop. Zoe looked like she was going to puke.”

“That might’ve improved it, actually, if she’d aimed it just right. Or even if she hadn’t, it still...” Evan’s brow furrowed when his brain caught up with his ears. “There’s a gift shop?”

“Have you left the palace at all?”

Evan’s mouth twitched without his permission. “Yes! I’ve gone places.”

Connor raised an eyebrow.

“I-I’ve left the palace,” Evan insisted. He continued on quickly before Connor could respond. “I went to a ball! I...” Evan let his breath out in a huff. “Shut up.”

“I didn’t say anything!”

Evan made a face. He didn’t find Connor’s amusement amusing. 

“It’s more like a stand than a shop,” Connor admitted. “Zoe almost bought a t-shirt with your face on it.”

“The APE one?”

Connor shook his head. “The one from the ball. The official one of you with Lady Elissa. She thinks it’ll be worth something someday if you-”

“I’m not marrying Lady Elissa,” Evan sputtered.

“It’ll be worth something if you do, especially since we... you know.”

“Picked her?”

Connor nodded.

“I can’t believe people actually think... We met once and-and I’m nineteen and...”

“Are you going to see her again?”

“No... I don’t know.” Evan sighed at the wall. “Zenovia’s turning 200 next year.”

“There’s going to be a ball?” Connor guessed.

“A big one. Bigger than the coronation ball. That’s why it was so small.”

“And you’re taking Lady Elissa?”

Evan shrugged. He had no idea if he was taking Lady Elissa, if it was something he had a say in, if it was just something he was expected to do from now on. 

He wasn’t even sure if he was going. No one had invited him.

Of course, it was entirely possible that it was one of those things he was just supposed to know he had to attend.

Especially since the ball was being held during winter break. Meaning he couldn’t use school as an excuse to stay home. 

“You’re a prince now. You can ask anyone you want and they’ll say yes. Or, better yet, have your people ask their people and...” Connor grinned at how red Evan’s face was getting. “I’m just saying you have choices.”

Evan shrugged again. “I know. In theory. It’s more complicated than-”

“You have choices, including Zoe.”

Evan’s head popped up. “What?”

The question sounded more like a croak than a word.

“She’d go with you.”

“I’m not going to...” A wave of horror spread through Evan’s veins. “You’re still talking to her about me?”

Connor lowered his eyes, but it was too late.

Evan had gotten pretty good at interpreting Connor’s expressions and he knew what that one meant. His stomach didn’t just twist that time. It did a full, Olympic-style flip.

“You’re still talking to her about my crush?” He smacked Connor’s arm. “About my old crush? The crush I used to have? Why would you do that?”

Connor looked ashamed for a moment before he glanced at the door. “Was that a knock?”

“Don’t change the subject! Why are you still...” Evan’s voice trailed off because it had been a knock.

His mother had been knocking on the door. He knew that as soon as it opened.

She was the only one who didn’t bother waiting for him to answer.

The only one besides Icky and V and he knew it wasn’t one of them. Icky was attending a never-ending horse race. She’d been live tweeting it all day.

And V was off somewhere with his camera. Somewhere that wasn’t there. Evan would’ve heard him coming. 

V liked to make an entrance. Evan had a feeling that was especially true when there was a camera involved.

His mother froze when she saw he wasn’t alone. She blinked at Connor for a moment before she managed to recover. “Our car’s about to leave.”

Connor cleared his throat. “I should go say goodbye to my parents.”

He spun around at the last second. “I’ve been talking to Zoe because she sounded interested.” He snorted at Evan’s confusion. “In you. When she saw you with Lady Elissa, she...” Connor shrugged. “I don’t know. She got really into the whole coronation thing and kept asking me all these questions and...”

He shoved his hands in his pockets and ducked out of the room.

It didn’t matter.

Evan knew that look too.

Connor had been trying to help him out. He’d been trying to be a good friend.

Because he thought Evan still liked Zoe? Because he thought they’d make a cute couple? 

Because Zoe liked Evan?

He wasn’t sure how he felt about that. He didn’t like it if she liked him for his crown. If she liked him for him though, well...

That was a different story.

He scratched his neck when he realized his mother was watching him.

“Zoe?” Heidi said softly. She shook her head in disbelief. “I can’t believe I didn’t realize she’s the same Zoe you...”

Her mouth snapped shut.

Because she wasn’t supposed to know about that. Because her knowing that was a violation of his privacy.

His brain scrambled to figure out how she knew. He’d never mentioned his crush on Zoe to her. He knew that for a fact.

She must’ve overheard him talking to Jared. Or Jared had told her. That was a definite possibility.

Or his father had. That was also a possibility. It wasn’t as likely as Jared being Jared and spilling the beans for fun, but it was possible his father had mentioned something to her at some point.

He’d emailed his father about Zoe. It had been one of the carefully constructed stories he’d shared. One of the things he’d said to make himself feel normal. To make his father think he was normal and well-adjusted and not at all the awkward, friendless loser he really was. 

He hated to think his father had shared that with his mother. It made him feel sick. And pathetic. Really pathetic.

Because his mother would’ve known it was just that. Just a story. A stupid story about a stupid crush. 

At least he hadn’t embellished it as much as some of the other stories he’d shared. 

It could’ve been worse. A lot worse.

His mother decided to drop the subject. He knew that as soon as he saw her face.

There was a more pressing matter at hand.

She pulled him in for a hug before he could work out what.

She chuckled when she let go of him. She studied him like she was trying to burn his face into her memory. “Sorry, I... I just realized I don’t know when I’ll see you again. Thanksgiving? They don’t celebrate Thanksgiving in Zenovia, but you can ask to go home. Who’s going to say no? You’re a prince, for crying out loud.”

It took Evan a second to follow that. He bristled when he did. “Mom-”

“This is so like him. It’s so like your father.” Heidi tilted her head back to glare at the ceiling. “Everything always has to be on his schedule. He gets to be a parent when he wants to be one. When he has the time. When it benefits him.” She shook her head. “Well, that’s not how it works, buddy.”

Evan stared at his hands. 

“Your cousin V’s thinking about staying,” Heidi sighed. “Your father told me to tell you that.”

Evan chanced a glance in her direction. Her mouth was tight. She was mad. Not at him, but mad all the same.

“He has this vision of the two of you going to school together. The two eligible Zenovian princes taking the world by storm.” Heidi snorted at how ridiculous it sounded.

Evan was inclined to agree. “I’m not staying in Zenovia. I’ll be home in two weeks.”

Heidi smiled sadly. “We’ll see.”

“I’m not staying.”

He meant it. He wasn’t staying. Not unless his father put forth some kind of royal decree. 

Heidi sighed at the couch. “Maybe you should. You’ve always wanted to spend more time with your dad.”

She had a point.

Evan’s eyes confirmed it for her. “I wouldn’t be spending time with him though. I’d be at school and...”

School.

That settled it for him. It vanquished the small part of him that had been wondering what it would be like to live in Zenovia. 

It wasn’t like he’d be hanging out in the palace, getting in lots of quality time with his father.

His father would be working and he’d be in school. 

A new school with new people. 

No Connor.

Or Ryan or Zoe or Jared. No familiar faces, except maybe the twins and V, if he stayed. He wasn’t sure where Icky and Frederick went. He wasn’t even sure if they were going to school. Icky talked about her social life like it was a full-time job.

He wasn’t up for that. He wasn’t up for being alone, for starting over somewhere new.

Somewhere where he’d be seen as a prince first, Evan second. 

It was a strange thought. It was something he would’ve welcomed at one point. 

The starting over part, not the prince part. He didn’t think he ever would’ve fully embraced the prince part.

He wasn’t sure if he ever could.

Which was just one of the many reasons he wouldn’t be taking his father up on his offer.

He squeezed his mother’s arm when she pulled him in for a side hug. “I’ll see you in two weeks.”


	7. Sophomore Year - August

The flash was so sudden and bright it almost made Evan fall off the stage. Almost but not quite, thankfully. There were cameras everywhere. 

He put his hand on Liam’s shoulder to steady himself. He hoped he looked like a supportive big brother, not a clumsy oaf who was using a nine-year-old to keep himself from toppling to the ground. 

He sucked in a breath when the crowd didn’t immediately turn on him. He was in luck. No one had noticed his almost-fall. 

No one except Paisley, who was giving him a look that made him suspect standing lessons were in his future. 

He squeezed Liam’s shoulder before he let go. Liam tilted his head back to smile at him.

It was an adorable moment that earned them another flash.

Evan scratched his neck and squinted at the floor. His feet didn’t budge that time. 

There was a smattering of applause when his father finished speaking. He remembered to clap too when he caught Paisley’s eye. His stomach dropped when he saw her type something on her phone.

A reminder, most likely. A reminder to teach him how to stand and clap and look like he cared about antique stamp collections. 

He stepped forward when his father beckoned them over. He went to the left side of the podium, Liam to the right. The cameras went wild when Dan put his arms around them. 

Evan tried not to flinch when the photographer in front of him started chuckling. His heart skipped a beat when the rest of them joined in.

He checked his teeth for spinach, even though he couldn’t remember the last time he’d eaten spinach. He scraped his shoe along the edge of the stage to check for toilet paper. He wiped his free hand on his pants in case it had a visible layer of sweat.

It took him a solid eight seconds to realize why people were laughing.

Liam was giving their father bunny ears. 

Make that trying to give their father bunny ears.

He couldn’t reach that far. He kept flicking Dan’s ear instead.

The press was eating it up. 

Even Paisley cracked a smile.

Evan’s hand flew up before he realized what it was doing. 

Liam’s eyes lit up when he saw it. He jumped up on his tiptoes so their hands could meet behind their father’s head.

The flashes that caused nearly blinded them all. 

Evan stumbled into the room and flung his tie in the direction of his bed.

He missed.

He blinked when he saw how badly he’d missed.

“For me? You shouldn’t have.”

He caught the tie with one hand when Icky tossed it back. It would’ve looked really cool if he’d managed to do it without lurching forward and slamming his shoulder into the bedpost.

Luckily for him, Icky was the only one who noticed that. She acknowledged his clumsiness by raising her eyebrow a fraction of an inch.

Evan perched on the edge of his bed and surveyed the room. As far as he could tell, nothing had changed while he’d been at the stamp thing. Not really anyway.

Icky was still messing with her nails. Frederick was still smirking at his phone. Connor was still reading his book.

The only difference was that V and Zoe had stopped dancing, but that was to be expected. Evan didn’t think anyone had the energy to practice the traditional Zenovian clog dance for four hours straight.

Or to listen to it. It was a relief to see they’d moved on. Their routine had been so headache-inducing that Evan had been happy when it was time to leave for the stamp thing.

Momentarily happy. 

And then he’d remembered he was being forced to attend the opening of the historical society’s stamp exhibit. 

It could’ve been worse. A lot worse. 

He tried to look on the bright side.

He’d survived an official outing without making a fool of himself or becoming a meme.

That was progress.

It actually looked like Connor was having a worse day than he was. 

Zoe and V’s new activity seemed to be annoying Connor even more than the clogging had.

Probably because they were actively trying to engage with him.

“What happens if you show up at the dining hall one minute after it closes?”

“Is there a shorter way to get to Fairbanks Hall because I don’t want to have to run across campus twice a week?”

“Free food. Is that a thing because it looks like it’s a thing?”

“Why are there so many anime clubs?”

“Why are there so many newspapers?”

“Is there really a secret swimming pool under the library?”

“Are there really condoms in all the bathrooms?”

That was the question that made Icky stop filing her nails. Her eyes twitched like they couldn’t decide if they should narrow or gleam. “What kind of schools do you have over there?”

“There are condoms in the bathrooms at Winchester,” Frederick chirped. He glanced up from his phone long enough to smirk at his sister.

Icky pretended to gag. “Please tell me you aren’t talking about who I think you’re talking about.”

“I’m just saying,” Frederick shrugged. 

“She’ll do anyone. You know that, right?”

Frederick didn’t seem at all put off by that information. “At least I-”

Icky gagged for real that time. “Don’t finish that sentence.”

She twisted around to face Connor. “So. Condoms in the bathrooms? Is that a yes or a no?”

Evan swallowed his laughter when he saw Connor’s expression. 

V cheerfully pointed at his laptop. “It says so on here.”

Connor gave Evan a look that clearly said ‘why are your cousins asking me this?’ 

Evan gave him one back that said ‘at least it isn’t your sister asking.’

Connor wrinkled his nose like he got what Evan was trying to communicate. “There are dispensers in some of the bathrooms.”

V turned the screen around. “But there’s a whole bowl of them on here. See.”

“That’s in health services,” Connor said. 

V nodded with satisfaction.

Evan did not. He didn’t nod and he wasn’t satisfied. It took him a second to realize why.

Connor knew there was a giant bowl of condoms in health services. Which meant that he had been to health services.

For the condoms or for something else?

Evan wasn’t sure which. He also wasn’t sure which was worse.

He shook his head.

The something else, obviously. Condoms were good. It was good that Connor knew where he could get them. 

It was weird though. Weird because of Lauren. Because there had just been Lauren. 

Because he would’ve known if there had been someone else.

That was where the weirdness was coming from. Connor’s ability to instantly recognize the giant bowl of condoms suggested there was something he hadn’t told Evan.

Which explained the weirdness Evan was feeling. 

He didn’t like feeling like there was something he was missing. 

Even if it was something small. Most likely small. Small and insignificant. 

He stood up before he could make himself feel even weirder. He opened his dresser and grabbed the first t-shirt he saw. He mumbled something about wanting to change out of his suit.

He heard Zoe ask about the music scene at their school before he closed the bathroom door. 

He didn’t try to hear the answer.

He knew Connor didn’t know a thing about that. 

V wasn’t staying in Zenovia. 

He wasn’t going home either.

He was going to Evan’s school.

Because of its amazing (more like decent) academic programs?

Because he’d become so close to Evan that he couldn’t bear the thought of being apart?

Because of Zoe?

Evan didn’t think any of those sounded right, except possibly the last one. 

V and Zoe had definitely bonded during Paisley’s clogging lesson. They were the only ones who’d been willing to try.

He didn’t really think V was the kind of person to pull a _Felicity_ and follow a girl he’d known for two minutes though.

At the very least, he knew his aunts weren’t the kind of mothers who would let their son change course on a whim.

Except it wasn’t a whim.

That became clear to Evan on his last day in Zenovia. 

It became clear when Paisley introduced the two of them to their security detail.

Suddenly it all made sense.

It made sense to keep the two princes in the same place.

And since Evan didn’t want to stay in Zenovia, Zenovia had to come to him.

Part of it did anyway.

V was coming. So were four bodyguards, one patrol captain, and Paisley.

Evan didn’t know which part of that made his stomach hurt more.

Scratch that. 

It was definitely the Paisley part.

The bodyguards were supposed to be invisible. They were trained to be invisible and keep their distance.

Paisley was going to be a pest.

Her job was to keep the two of them organized and continue with their training.

With their prince training.

With Evan’s prince training.

Because that was ultimately what it was going to boil down to.

V was barely a spare.

Not that V minded. 

He was more interested in being famous than being royal.

If he played his cards right, it would be easy for him to achieve his goal.

His BuzzFeed video had been such a hit they’d asked him to make it a regular feature.

He decided to make a video about their farewell dinner.

That idea was quickly shot down by their grandmother. She refused to let the public watch her eat.

V took a lot of pictures instead.

Evan did his best to stay out of them. He didn’t want to end the summer the way he’d started it.

He didn’t want to remind the world about APE right before he returned to school.

And by the world he meant his roommates, his friends, Jared.

Mainly Jared.

Who was he kidding?

There was no way Jared had forgotten. 

There were so many of them leaving Zenovia that they ended up taking the royal jet.

The family jet.

Because Evan’s family had a jet.

That really shouldn’t have been a hard thing to wrap his mind around after spending the summer in a palace, but it was.

He’d known there was a jet. He just hadn’t expected to see it. Or ride in it. Or hear it referred to as his.

That was the weirdest part of all.

It was one of those out of body moments. Something that made him step back and think about how much everything had changed. Was changing. Would change.

He’d gone from living in a small, cluttered house to having multiple palaces that were sort of his. 

Privacy was a thing of the past. Alone time was a thing of the past. He would never be alone again. Not really. There would always be a guard nearby, just the push of a panic button away.

He had cousins and second cousins and a grandmother who was a queen. 

His father was actively taking an interest in him for the first time in years. Out of necessity, but still. It counted. 

It counted even if their time together mainly involved antique stamps and ribbon cutting.

It wasn’t a life he’d ever imagined.

That any of them had imagined.

He knew it was an adjustment for everyone.

He knew his father was embracing his new role as the crown prince.

He knew Lisa was reluctantly allowing her family to move to Zenovia.

He knew his mother had some major qualms about the whole thing.

He knew he wasn’t imagining the tension in her voice when she heard how he was flying home.

He knew it before he heard Geoff murmuring consolingly in the background.

The royal jet was small enough that they were able to use its size to talk Zoe and V out of practicing their clogging.

For safety reasons.

Because clogging in a small space was bound to lead to injuries.

And possibly make the plane crash.

V looked a bit uneasy when Connor brought up that last part. He went to sit with his moms, who immediately gave him a pillow to bury his face in.

It gave Evan a quick thrill to see that V was scared of something.

And then he felt guilty for letting his mind go down that path.

He liked V. Everyone liked V. 

Including Zoe.

He pushed that thought away too.

What was it to him if Zoe liked V?

Nothing. He was over her. His crush was a thing of the past.

And so was whatever interest she’d had in him. Supposedly had in him.

He wasn’t sure if he trusted Connor on that front.

That was a weird thought. Even weirder than the idea that Zoe had possibly liked him for a second.

He wondered if she just had a thing for princes.

He covered his mouth to hide his amusement. He tried to think of something to say.

He stared out the window instead.

Across the aisle, Zoe put her earbuds in and pushed her chair back and instantly fell into what appeared to be a deep sleep. 

And then there were two.

Not counting the guards.

And Paisley, who was staring at their school’s handbook like she was trying to burn it into her brain.

Which was weird because Evan hadn’t even known their school had a handbook.

Or, actually, he had. He was pretty sure he had at some point. He was pretty sure it was one of the things they’d mentioned during freshman orientation.

He wondered if he should’ve paid more attention to that. Judging from the way Paisley was studying the book, it was a fascinating read.

Either that or she was just trying to seem busy. Busy and invisible.

That was probably it, actually.

The guards were also doing their best to seem invisible. It was easy for them since they were having some kind of meeting in the front of the cabin.

A meeting about his safety.

Because that was something he had to be concerned about. 

As if he wasn’t anxious enough as it was.

“Who would want to kidnap me?”

Evan bit his lip when he realized he’d said that out loud.

Connor shrugged because they both knew the answer. He poked Zoe’s leg with his foot and nodded to himself when she didn’t budge. 

“She falls asleep fast,” Evan observed.

“She’s pretending.”

“Am not,” Zoe muttered. She opened her eyes long enough to grin at them before rolling onto her side.

Evan drummed his fingers on his knee. 

They couldn’t talk. There were too many people around for him to feel comfortable talking about anything except the weather.

He pulled out his laptop. 

Connor’s eyes lit up like he knew what was coming. He got up and slid into the seat next to Evan.

Evan’s hand hovered above the touchpad while he waited for their soap to load. “Should we start with the episode where Madeline shoots the goose or the one where the twins sleep with the same girl?”

It started pouring as soon as Evan pulled into the parking lot.

Because of course it did.

Of course, it was going to pour while he was unloading his car.

At least he had help. 

Lots of helpers.

He wasn’t sure if that made it better or worse.

He had Cedric, the guard who’d driven with him. He had his mom and Geoff and V and V’s daytime guard whose name started with a B or possibly a D.

The good news was that it was raining so hard V decided not to film anything.

The bad news was that their group was still putting on quite a production.

People were staring and at least one person was taking pictures.

So much for going undetected.

It had been so much easier to move in as a freshman. No one had paid attention to him. No one had even looked his way. 

He’d only had his mom to help him settle in, but that had been okay. They’d made it work. 

Cedric and the guard whose name started with B or D did most of the lifting. They were able to carry so many bags that it only took one trip to unload the car.

His car.

His father’s old car. 

V told him there was already a BuzzFeed article about it. People loved that a prince was driving a hand-me-down vehicle.

A hand-me-down vehicle that been restored by a famous mechanic and shipped across the country to make it in time, but still. 

It wasn’t anything fancy.

Nothing about his real life was fancy.

His dorm definitely wasn’t. The suite was a step up from the room he’d shared with Ryan, but it definitely wasn’t a palace. 

It had four bedrooms and one bathroom and a small common area. 

The room he was sharing with Connor was the size of a large closet.

It was perfect.

It was just what he needed to restore his sense of normalcy.

He was the last roommate to arrive.

Which wasn’t a surprise since Cedric and his team had insisted on doing a full sweep of the area before letting him set foot on campus.

There was a burst of activity while he set up his side of the room. He made up his bed and unpacked his clothes and listened to V moan about how his room smelled like feet.

“Buy a plug-in,” Evan suggested.

“I tried that,” V groaned. “Now it smells like moldy feet.”

Evan was relieved when V didn’t say a prince shouldn’t have to live like that.

The group dispersed after he finished unpacking. His mother made him promise to call. V made him promise to text. Cedric made sure he remembered how the panic button worked.

Evan assured him he did.

He knew it was in his best interest to follow all the rules when it came to that. The button was the one thing that allowed him to have some space. He didn’t need a guard when he was in his room as long as he kept the button within reach.

A text popped up from Paisley.

He ignored it.

He knew what it said without looking.

She was confirming their next meeting.

He didn’t need a reminder about that.

He allowed himself a moment to catch his breath before leaving the room.

His roommates were all sprawled out around the living area in a way that was supposed to look casual but wasn’t.

He rocked back on his heels and stared at the ceiling.

There was a mysterious brown spot above his head.

It was disgustingly perfect.

Ryan spoke first. He grinned when he caught Evan’s eye.

“So, what did you do this summer?”


	8. Sophomore Year - September

“Is Adam in?”

“There’s no Adam here.”

A pause.

A heavy pause.

Evan pulled his hood up and slid down in his seat.

He could feel everyone watching him.

Watching him and Cole and the girl at the door. 

He wondered how long it would take his roommates to get bored of this particular show.

He wondered how many times it would happen.

The couch shifted next to him. Connor stretched out so that Evan could no longer see the door.

And the girl could no longer see the back of his head.

Evan smiled gratefully. 

“Are you sure? I could’ve sworn he said-”

Cole smacked the wall outside their suite. “Check the board. Do you see the name Adam on it?”

The girl made a sound that almost resembled words.

“You have the wrong room.”

“Are you sure? Can’t I just come in for a second and-”

“No!” Cole slammed the door shut. He stomped over to the counter and grabbed his water. “Add Adam to the list.”

“Already on it,” Seth chirped.

“Royal?” Chris snorted. He leaned over to jab at the notebook in Seth’s lap. “Someone actually tried the name Royal?”

“That was that girl this morning. The blonde.”

“The hot one?” Chris sighed. “You should’ve let her in.”

“Why?” Seth grinned. “She’s not interested in you.”

Chris stuck out his tongue.

The room fell silent.

Evan stared at his textbook so intently the words no longer looked like words.

“How long do you think this is going to go on?” Cole asked.

Evan shakily turned the page. He didn’t know what to say.

He didn’t know what to think.

He knew it wasn’t personal.

He knew the girls who kept showing up at his door weren’t interested in him. Not really. Not the real him. 

They were interested in the crown, in the headline version of who he’d become.

“I don’t know,’ Seth beamed. “How many girls are there?”

Kai tapped his phone on his chin. “In our school or in this building?”

“This building’s half and half, isn’t it?” Ryan said.

They all looked at Cole.

Cole didn’t notice. His mind was obviously elsewhere.

“What about the gay guys?” Jared smirked. “We shouldn’t count them out.”

The room fell silent again.

Evan resisted the urge to pull his hood back up.

And army crawl to his room.

And kick Jared on his way.

Ryan sighed heavily. “This could go on forever.”

Cole’s head popped up like he was snapping out of a daze. “We need a better system.”

“We have a system?” Chris whispered to Seth.

Seth shrugged.

Cole pointed at the door. “First step is to take Evan’s name off the door.”

“It’s too late for that, isn’t it?” Kai asked. “Everyone already knows which suite he’s in.”

“And it’ll mess up Tarik’s garden,” Seth added. He narrowed his eyes when Chris started to laugh. “What?”

“It’ll mess up Tarik’s garden,” Chris mimicked. He laughed so hard he hiccupped. 

Seth waved his hand in the direction of the hall. His mouth opened for a second before he decided not to say whatever he’d been about to say.

There was a soft tapping sound at the door.

Evan cringed when he saw Cole’s expression.

That had to be some kind of record. They usually got at least a half hour between stalkers.

“Is Connor in?”

Cole let out a barking laugh. “Would you look at that? We have a smart one this time. This one can read.”

Seth added Connor’s name to his list.

“I almost feel like I should reward you for picking a name that’s on the door.”

“What?”

Cole pointed at the glittery construction paper garden their RA had put up. “You’re the first one to try one of our names.”

“What?”

Connor threw his head backwards at that. “Zoe?”

Zoe tried to lean past Cole. She frowned when he kept getting in her way. “Yeah?”

Connor rolled his eyes. “That’s my sister.”

Cole looked her up and down before reluctantly stepping aside.

Zoe narrowed her eyes at him as she slid past. “Hey...” Her voice trailed off when she saw the way everyone was staring at her. “Um...” 

“We thought you were another one of Evan’s stalkers.” Connor gave her a look that suggested he wasn’t entirely convinced she wasn’t.

Zoe didn’t bother hiding her amusement. “Evan has stalkers?”

“It’s the prince thing,” Jared sighed. “He’s so lucky.”

Jared clucked his tongue and gave Evan a look that suggested he wasn’t appreciating the attention as much as he should be.

Evan refused to let that get to him.

He didn’t appreciate the attention. He didn’t like having dozens of wannabe suitors/royal gawkers show up at his door every day. 

He wished Tarik had chucked the RA handbook out the window and opted not to put everyone’s names on their doors. 

He wasn’t naïve enough to think he could’ve kept his location hidden forever, but it would’ve slowed things down if his name hadn’t been on the freaking door.

It had taken a group of enterprising students less than an hour to figure out which suite Evan lived in. They’d located each door with the name “Evan” on it and staked them out until they identified the right one.

The rest was history.

The suite hadn’t had a quiet moment since.

It was a good thing Cole enjoyed being a bouncer.

It was not a good thing that he took his job so seriously.

He looked like he was ready to manhandle Zoe out of the room.

It didn’t help that Connor obviously didn’t want her there.

“What are you doing here?”

Zoe seemed genuinely perplexed by her brother’s question. “What do you mean?”

“I mean...” Connor gestured around the room. “What are you doing here?”

“I...” Zoe puffed out her cheeks and took a breath. “I came by to say hi.”

Connor let out a humorless laugh. “You came to say hi?”

Zoe put a hand on her hip. “Is that not allowed?”

Her eyes darted around the room when he didn’t look away. “I have some time before my next class and...” Her cheeks puffed out again. “I’ll go.”

The room fell silent after she let herself out. 

Evan lowered his eyes.

He wasn’t the only one who did.

Someone knocked on their door.

Seth added the name Scott to his list.

Evan quickly debated the pros and cons of skipping breakfast when he saw how long the line was.

The only pro he could come up with was that he’d be on time for class if he made do with the half-eaten granola bar in his bag.

He checked the time and glanced around and tried to figure out how long it would take him to grab a bagel from the dining hall.

It would be faster to go back to his room and buy some cereal from Cole. He didn’t feel like dealing with that though. It was not a good idea to have a Cole encounter while he was half-asleep and hungry.

He tilted his head to the left and counted.

Six people.

There were six people in front of him.

He’d never even seen six people at the coffee kiosk before. At his coffee kiosk. That was the reason he liked it.

It was off the beaten path. The only people who knew about it were the ones who’d stumbled upon it by mistake.

Apparently, that had changed.

He’d changed it.

He realized that when he saw how many people were in line behind him.

The royal gawkers were starting to figure out his schedule.

He didn’t like that at all.

The line moved quickly because the majority of the people in it weren’t really there for the coffee. 

He placed his order and stepped aside so Cedric could place his. His face went red when Cedric paid instead. 

“You don’t want anything?” Evan whispered.

Cedric gave him a look that meant he thought he was crazy or kind or something in between. It was hard to tell. Cedric had the ultimate poker face.

“My class is over there.” Evan pointed at Harris Hall.

He wasn’t sure why he bothered. His guards knew his schedule better than he did.

He set off towards the building secure in the knowledge that Cedric was exactly 7.5 steps behind.

V wasn’t the only one who had switched schools because of him.

Evan didn’t know why he was surprised to hear that, but he was. 

It was especially alarming when he learned about it from a tweet Jared found.

A tweet with over a hundred comments and likes.

Jared found it hilarious. He was also openly jealous.

“You have to start dating some of them.”

Ryan lowered his phone so he could glare at Jared. “He doesn’t have to do anything.”

Jared chose to ignore that. “Come on. It’s the least you can do to help a brother out.”

Ryan wasn’t the only one to look up that time.

Connor actually closed his book. “Okay, I’ll bite. How exactly do you think Evan dating one of his stalkers will benefit you?”

“Because,” Jared drawled. “Then he can send some of the spares my way.”

Ryan shook his head at him.

Jared gestured around the room. “You can’t tell me I’m the only one who’s thought about that.”

“Wouldn’t it bother you that-”

Jared made a buzzer sound and put up a hand to stop Ryan. “You don’t get to have an opinion about this. You’re practically married.”

He glanced around the room again.

He stared everyone down.

“I do okay on my own,” Kai shrugged.

Jared made a face. He looked to Seth and Chris for support.

He deflated when they didn’t give it.

The good news was that most of Evan’s stalkers were not interested in actually approaching him.

The closest they got was coming to his door and being turned away by Cole.

And even that slowed down after the first week.

Slowed down but didn’t stop. 

Evan wasn’t sure if it would ever stop.

At least people left him alone for the most part. Coming to his door was one thing, approaching him while he was walking across the quad was another.

Cedric’s presence was probably a major deterrent when he was out and about.

No one even tried to take Evan’s picture while Cedric was around.

It was almost enough to make up for the embarrassment and lack of privacy that came from having a bodyguard.

Almost.

He had semiweekly appointments with Paisley.

That was it.

Twice a week for approximately two hours.

Sometimes V was there, sometimes not. Sometimes Paisley wanted to see them individually.

Even those appointments weren’t that bad.

Paisley seemed more relaxed when she was away from the palace. 

Probably because she didn’t have to prepare them for any events. 

Or wear a uniform.

Or answer to anyone.

She didn’t really seem to do much of anything.

Outside of the four to eight hours a week she spent giving prince lessons, that was.

It was enough to make Evan wonder if her presence was really necessary. He wondered if it would’ve been considered unseemly for her to teach them how to bow over Zoom. 

He wasn’t about to ask.

No good could come from that.

No good could come from asking what Paisley did the rest of the week.

He knew what would happen if he did.

Asking would make her rethink things. It would make her think he was questioning her methods. It would lead to more lessons and tests and reading assignments about Zenovian architecture. 

He didn’t have time for that.

He didn’t have time for a lot of things.

At least it felt that way.

His classes were more intense. His roommate situation was more intense. Even his home life was more intense.

It wasn’t that his mother had started calling him more. It was the way their conversations played out when she did.

She never mentioned the prince thing. 

It was like she’d forgotten about it.

They talked about his classes and her cases and whatever ridiculous thing Maggie was doing. 

And Geoff. She occasionally brought up Geoff.

In passing.

Just a quick mention and then onto a story about Maggie’s poodle.

It was like they were trapped in a SAT analogy. It was like she thought Geoff was to him what the prince thing was to her.

He didn’t feel like deciding if she had a point.

And he definitely wasn’t about to ask.

“Okay. Okay. Fine. I’ll ask him.” Connor grumbled something into his phone before dropping it on his desk.

Loudly.

It was more of a toss than a drop.

Evan took that as his cue to sit up. 

He didn’t say anything. He played with the pencil in his hand and waited for Connor to explain himself.

He climbed down from his bed when it became clear that wasn’t happening. He pretended to look for something on his desk.

He turned around when Connor finally sighed.

“That was Alana.”

“On the phone?”

“Yeah,” Connor huffed. He leaned back in his chair. “She wants a meeting.”

“With me?”

Connor rolled his eyes. “We’ve discussed this.”

“She’s here?”

Connor nodded slowly. “She wants a meeting.”

Evan didn’t know what to say.

“I’ve learned that with Alana it’s best to just do what she wants.”

“And then she’ll leave me alone?”

Connor snorted.

That told Evan everything he needed to know. 

He perked up when an idea popped into his head. “What about V? I bet he’d meet with her.”

“V isn’t going to be king.”

Evan chewed his lip.

He didn’t say yes, but he didn’t say no either.

Connor didn’t ask again.

Evan jumped when a shadow fell over his textbook.

Cedric.

Cedric was standing in front of him.

Right in front of him. 

It took Evan a second to figure out why.

There was a list – an actual list – of people who were always allowed to approach Evan. His mom, V, Zoe, Connor, his roommates.

Alana Beck was not on the list.

To Cedric, she was just another stalker.

Part of Evan wanted to play into that.

He was sitting outside so he could study in peace. This wasn’t a stiff, formal library kind of study session. He needed to be somewhere he felt comfortable and his room was not an option. Connor was so tired and cranky that the sound of Evan turning a page was enough to make him snap.

The living room was out too. Chris and Seth had commandeered it for a _Doctor Who_ marathon.

That left the shady area behind the quad.

It was a quiet area where Evan had thought he could study in peace.

He should’ve known better.

He wondered if Connor had decided to get revenge for Evan’s excessive page turning by telling Alana where she could find him.

He smothered that thought and forced himself to smile when Cedric glanced over his shoulder. “It’s okay. We went to high school together.”

Cedric nodded briskly. 

He went back to his spot against the wall.

Alana didn’t look at all fazed by what had just happened. She smiled at him as she sat down.

Smiled like they were old friends.

“Hi, Evan.”

“Hi.” He tried to mirror her smile. He didn’t need a mirror to know he was not successful. 

Her eyes bounced from the stack of books in front of him to Cedric and back again. “You’re studying. I’ll be quick.”

She folded her hands in front of her. “Have you had a chance to read my proposal?”

His face gave him away.

She deflated for a second. Just a second and then her smile returned. “Am I coming on too strong? I’ve been told I do that sometimes.”

Evan’s face gave him away again.

“It’s just...” Alana let her breath out in a huff. “It’s amazing. What happened to you is amazing. Someone I know was handed this... this opportunity to do things. To make a difference. A real difference.”

“And you want to help with that?” Evan guessed. 

Alana nodded eagerly. “I can send you my resume again if you-”

“I read it,” Evan blurted out. “Your resume. It’s very impressive.”

It made him feel like he’d been wasting his life.

Alana studied him for a moment. “I’ve been reading up on Zenovia. It’s a progressive country in a lot of ways, but it could do more, especially on the global stage. Its international presence is practically nonexistent.”

“I don’t have a say in that.”

“But you will,” Alana beamed. “Someday. And even now you’re in a position where you can influence the people who have the power to change things.”

Alana lowered her eyes and stood up. “Just think about it, okay?”

Evan nodded, even though he wasn’t entirely sure what he was supposed to be thinking about.

V laughed as he examined the photo. “You look like someone’s giving you a wedgie. Let’s try that again.”

“I wasn’t ready,” Evan muttered.

V smiled good-naturedly and put his arm back around Evan. “Say cheese.”

Evan didn’t say cheese. He sort of smiled though.

It was enough to satisfy V. “Permission to post this picture?”

“Where?” Evan blinked.

V snorted like the answer was obvious. “On all my pages.”

Evan blinked again.

“Together we can break the internet.” V took a bite of his muffin. “You know people are calling me the Harry to your Will?”

Evan shook his head. 

“Well, they are.” V glanced around the café. “See those girls over there?”

Evan tried to look as subtly as he could.

The girls giggled when he failed.

“They’ve been checking us out since we walked in.” V puffed himself up a bit. “If only my friends could see me now...”

He grinned at Evan’s confusion. “I was voted class clown. No one wants to date the class clown. I was good for a laugh and that was it.”

Evan cleared his throat. “Have you been, uh...”

He wasn’t sure if there was a polite way to ask if V had been messing around with the royal gawkers.

“No,” V sighed. “I’ve flirted, I’ve teased, but I haven’t gone any further than that.”

He played with his straw. “What about you?”

“Me?” Evan squeaked.

“Don’t tell me no one’s tried to hit that,” V smirked.

Evan took a bite of his bagel.

That just made V smirk even harder. “I get it. You have a reputation to protect and all that. The future king can’t be seen mingling with the commoners.”

“Is that what they’re calling it these days?”

V snorted so hard he choked. “I forget how funny you can be sometimes.”

Evan stared at his plate. 

He’d never really thought of himself as funny.

Not in a ‘he’s so funny’ way. In a weird, awkward, uncomfortable way, sure. Not in a ‘makes the class clown choke on his iced coffee’ kind of way.

“So, are you going to that museum thing next week?” 

Evan flicked a crumb off his shirt. “What museum thing?”

“The one Paisley mentioned.”

Evan had no idea what he was talking about.

V frowned when he saw that. “She told me about it yesterday. They’re trying to raise money for the...” V’s voice trailed off. He shrugged. “I want to say dung beetles, but I think that might be wrong.”

“She didn’t say anything about it to me.”

Evan tried not to worry about that.

They’d had separate lessons that week. His had been on Monday. It was possible the invitation had arrived after that.

It was also possible that Paisley thought V would do a better job representing Zenovia than he would.

She had a point.

V chugged the rest of his drink and promptly grabbed his head. “Ugh. Brain freeze.”

Evan balled up his trash. “You ready?”

V managed to nod.

“What do you think they’re talking about?”

Evan followed V’s lead and glanced over his shoulder. “Cedric and...”

“Dominic,” V filled in.

“I don’t know,” Evan shrugged.

“Do you think they’re, like, comparing gun sizes or something?”

Evan stopped in his tracks. “Do they carry guns?”

V stopped too. “I just assumed they did.”

They both looked over their shoulders again.

Their bodyguards pretended not to notice.

V shook his shoulders like he was trying to shake away a thought. “It’s too bad I didn’t have a Dominic last year. It would’ve been nice to have someone carry my books.”

“You make Dominic carry your books?”

V shook his head. “Not now, but last year, yeah. I totally would’ve asked him to last year. My locker was all the way on the other side of the school.” He grabbed his back and groaned. “I think I bent my spine.”

V straightened himself up when they rounded the corner.

It took Evan a second to see why.

Zoe was leaving his building.

Not just leaving.

She was practically running out the door.

She looked like someone had kicked her puppy.

V didn’t notice that part. He waved his arms in the air. “Zoe!”

She froze with her back to them. She forced a smile on her face before she turned around. “Hey, guys.”

V continued to smile. “Long time no see.”

“Yeah...” Zoe chuckled awkwardly.

“Were you visiting Connor?” Evan asked.

That had been the wrong thing to say.

Evan saw that right away.

V did not. “Is he in? I’ve missed you guys. Don’t get me wrong. Pete is great and all, but...” V made a face. “Actually, no. Pete’s kind of the worst. Not the worst-worst, just...”

V jumped when his phone rang. “It’s my mom.”

He took off without saying another word. 

Dominic immediately followed after him.

Zoe wandered over to a bench. 

Evan hesitated a moment before joining her. She didn’t look up when he sat down. 

“Pete’s V’s roommate.”

Zoe nodded vaguely.

“Is your roommate still...” Evan stopped himself because he wasn’t sure if he should finish that sentence. Finishing it would tell Zoe that Connor had told him about her roommate problems.

Which could be bad.

It would be even worse if she’d figured out how to make things work and thought he was picking on her new best friend.

“Gillian’s a bitch.”

Evan let out a startled laugh.

Zoe snorted at that. “Well, she is.”

“Maybe she’ll get better. I wasn’t wild about Ryan in the beginning. And you know about Connor and Cole, don’t you?”

Zoe did not look convinced. She also looked like she was done talking about it. “It’s Connor’s birthday on Tuesday.”

“I know.”

“That’s why I stopped by.”

“Okay,” Evan muttered.

He got the feeling he was missing something.

He was afraid to ask.

“That’s the only reason I stopped by.” Zoe bit her lip. “Gillian kicked me out.”

“For good?” Evan gasped.

Zoe shook her head. “For the afternoon. So she can have sex on my bed.”

Evan choked on his spit.

Zoe’s grin grew wider. “Or sacrifice a gerbil or whatever it is she does when she-” Zoe lifted her hands to form air quotes. “-‘needs the room.’”

Evan considered that for a moment. “What does sacrificing a gerbil get you?”

“Really bad highlights.” Zoe twirled a strand of hair around her finger. “I guess I’ll go to the library until I get the all clear.”

“You don’t want to...” Evan looked over his shoulder at the building.

Zoe stared at her shoes.

Connor had taken away that option.

Evan didn’t need to hear it to know it was true.

Connor didn’t want his sister hanging around.

There was no way he was getting in the middle of that.

He couldn’t help feeling bad for Zoe though.

She looked lost. Sad and lost and slightly confused.

He couldn’t think of a polite way to ask if she’d made any friends.

“You should stop by on Tuesday,” Evan said. “Connor doesn’t want our roommates to know it’s his birthday.”

Zoe smiled a genuine smile. He could practically see the wheels spinning in her head.

“Really? It’d be a shame if they found out.” 

Jared let out an embarrassing moan as he licked the frosting off his fingers.

Embarrassing for everyone who wasn’t him.

He didn’t seem the slightest bit embarrassed by the sounds he was making. “Did you make these?”

Zoe tilted her head at him. “You opened the box.”

“So?” Jared shrugged.

“You peeled off the label and-”

“Peeled makes it sound civilized,” Connor interrupted. “He tore into it like a werewolf.”

“I like cake,” Jared spat. 

Literally.

He sent cupcake crumbs flying all around the counter.

Jared swallowed visibly. “Should we sing? I feel like we should sing.”

Connor disagreed. He made that clear without saying a word.

Zoe grinned at Evan. 

He returned the grin. 

She was in much better spirits than she had been the last time he’d seen her.

“I forgot to take your picture,” Zoe groaned. “I promised Mom I’d send her one.”

She snapped a photo of him before he could argue. She snorted when she saw it. 

She refused to let anyone else look.

There was a burst of commotion by the tv.

Seth and Chris were fighting over the remote.

“There are two types of people in this world,” Seth said through gritted teeth. “Those who watch the theme song because they understand that it’s a lost art and really sets the mood, and the uncultured swines who skip it.”

“It saves time to skip it!” Chris cried.

“Guys!” Kai rolled over so he could look up at them. “The song’s over. You argued your way through it.”

Chris pointed at Seth. “We’re not replaying it.”

“We’re not skipping it next time.”

“We didn’t skip it this time. Which means we skip it next time. Fair’s fair.”

“They’re always like this,” Evan whispered to Zoe.

Kai gave up on watching _Psych_ and joined them at the counter. “Have you guys heard about the carnival we’re having in a couple weeks?”

Evan simply stared.

He wasn’t the only one who did.

He thought it was safe to say Kai was the only one in the room who kept up with things like that.

Kai eyed the cupcake they were saving for Ryan. He pushed it away like he couldn’t handle the temptation. “All the sports teams are pitching in. We’re trying to raise money for a new stadium.”

His mouth twisted to the side. “The track team’s doing a kissing booth.”

Jared stopped licking his fingers and straightened himself up to his full height. “Are you looking for volunteers?”

“Sort of,” Kai muttered. He turned to face Evan full-on. “We were hoping you would-”

Jared burst out laughing.

Evan glanced around wildly. “I would what?”

“You know,” Kai grinned. “They’ll be lining up around the block if you participate.”

Evan opened his mouth to say no. 

Nothing came out.

“Why don’t you ask his cousin?” Zoe suggested. “I bet V would do it.”

Evan tried to show her his gratitude. 

He wasn’t sure if he was successful.

“We already did,” Kai said. “Leon’s in one of V’s classes. We got him on board last week.” Kai lowered his eyes. “I know this isn’t exactly your kind of thing, but...”

“Not his kind of thing?” Jared was laughing so hard it was a wonder he could speak.

“It’s for a good cause,” Kai finished weakly.

Somehow Evan didn’t think a new stadium was a good enough cause for him to make a fool of himself in front of the entire school.

And whatever reporters showed up.

There wouldn’t even have to be any reporters there. It would just take one picture or video to make him the laughingstock of the world.

He didn’t say that out loud.

He didn’t say anything.

His head took on a life of its own and nodded.

Sort of nodded.

It was something that resembled a nod.

It was enough to make Kai think he’d said yes.


	9. Sophomore Year - Early October

Jared was going to wet his pants if he didn’t stop laughing.

That wasn’t just wishful thinking on Evan’s part. 

He didn’t think he’d ever seen anyone laugh that hard.

Not even Jared. Not even on the many other times Jared had laughed at his expense.

He wondered if hoping Jared would wet his pants made him a bad person.

He decided he didn’t care either way.

He really needed to stop telling Jared things. 

He would’ve thought he would’ve learned his lesson by now.

No good ever came from telling Jared things.

Or letting Jared ask questions.

Or Jared in general.

That last one was an exaggeration, but it didn’t feel like one while Jared’s bladder was on the verge of exploding all over the couch.

Or so Evan hoped.

Because that would definitely distract everyone from his latest crisis.

He really was a terrible person.

“You’re Conrad Birdie!” Jared hiccupped. 

It took them a second to decipher that.

And then it took them another second to look around and confirm that no one had gotten that reference.

“ _Bye, Bye Birdie_?” Jared rolled his eyes. “One Last Kiss?” He shook his head. “I’m surrounded by philistines.” 

Cole tilted his head. “You’re talking about a musical?”

Jared folded his arms across his chest. “Yes, because I’m very, very gay.”

He pulled himself up and grinned at Evan.

Evan knew that grin.

He hated that grin.

It was the same one he got every time he decided to share something with Jared. 

He only had himself to blame.

Especially now. 

He had options.

It was one thing when Jared was the only person who was sort of, kind of, willing to talk to him.

It was another when he had other friends. Real friends. Real friends who didn’t look like they were going to wet themselves laughing at him.

No one else was laughing. 

No one else was even amused by Evan’s predicament.

Not outwardly at least. There was always a chance they were cracking up on the inside.

He was pretty sure that was the case with Kai, actually.

Kai’s hand hadn’t left his mouth since he’d heard the news.

There had been a change of plans. 

Evan was no longer going to participate in the kissing booth.

He was going to be the finale.

Part of the finale.

He was going to share the spotlight with V. The two of them were going to be auctioned off. The winners got to come on stage and kiss them. 

It was going to be a disaster.

He only had himself to blame.

And Paisley. He should’ve known better than to trust her with something like this.

So, really, it was his fault there too. 

He shouldn’t have expected Paisley to get him out of doing the kissing booth. He should’ve known she’d latch onto the charity aspect and find a way to make it work.

She thought it was unseemly for a prince to be one of the kissers, but had no problem auctioning him off. She’d even used the words “good publicity.”

“Well, I, for one, think it’s a great idea.” Kai lowered his hand.

He was grinning.

The bastard.

“On behalf of the track team, I’d like to offer my thanks to the proud princes of Zenovia.” Kai rubbed his hands together. He was rapidly approaching Jared levels of smug. “There’s a prize, you know. The team that earns the most money gets a pizza party.”

“What are the other teams doing?” Connor asked.

His voice sounded curious, but Evan could tell he wasn’t.

He couldn’t have cared less about the carnival. 

He was trying to take the heat off Evan.

“The usual,” Kai said. “Bake sales, games, that kind of thing. The football team’s doing a shirtless car wash, so it was always going to be between them and us. I’d say we have it the bag now though. A pair of princes will definitely outearn a pack of football players”

Kai wrinkled his nose. “Even if they do have Lucas.”

“And you’re stuck with Evan,” Jared grinned.

It was just a grin. His laughter had finally subsided.

The couch was still dry.

Evan checked. 

He tried not to feel disappointed.

Jared leaned forward so his face was practically in Evan’s. “So, have you decided how you’re going to do it?”

His smirk grew stronger when Evan didn’t instantly respond. “Tongue or no tongue?”

It took all of Evan’s willpower not to recoil at the question.

He hadn’t gotten that far in his thinking. 

He didn’t like to think about it at all.

He couldn’t decide if being auctioned off was better or worse than being part of the kissing booth.

It was only one kiss, but that meant it was going to stand out.

He was going to stand out.

There was no way it wouldn’t end up on all the gossip blogs.

“Okay, let’s try this again. Three steps up, dodge the plant and...” Paisley looked like it was taking every bit of self-restraint she had not to slap her forehead. “Let’s just...”

She hopped onto the stage and pulled on the urn.

It didn’t budge.

It was like it had been nailed down.

She sighed and stared at her clipboard like it would tell her how to teach a prince to cross a platform without making a fool of himself. 

It was a lost cause.

Evan knew it. V knew it. Even the girls who were pretending to study on the lawn in front of them knew it.

They stopped pretending and started openly watching the stage when they saw what was happening. One of them gave a flirtatious wave.

It was obviously aimed at V.

He elbowed Evan and wiggled his eyebrows.

The movement made the girls giggle even harder.

Paisley didn’t notice. She squared her shoulders and clutched her clipboard to her chest.

“We’ll worry about that part later.” She motioned for Evan to come closer. “Let’s practice your speech.”

“Speech?” Evan gasped. He glanced at V for support.

V’s eyes bulged. He leaned forward to check Paisley’s notes. He sighed when he straightened up.

Evan took that to mean he didn’t have to give a speech too.

“What speech?” Evan breathed.

“Your speech.” Paisley glanced up long enough to blink at him. “Your father didn’t tell you?”

Evan shook his head.

His throat felt impossibly dry.

He hadn’t spoken to his father in weeks. 

That wasn’t unusual. He often went weeks without actually speaking to his father.

They texted though. And emailed. His father loved to write long, rambly emails about the kids. 

He’d never thought he’d miss reading about the latest thing Liam had done that reminded their father of him.

He knew his father was busy being a future king, but was it that hard to respond to his emails? To answer his texts? To give him a heads up before Paisley tried to spring a speech on him?

Apparently so.

He didn’t think it was an exaggeration to say he learned more about his father’s life in Zenovia from Google than he did from the man himself.

He couldn’t bring himself to say that out loud for some reason. Not in front of Paisley and V and the girls who were “studying.”

“It’s just a...” Paisley closed her eyes when she saw Evan’s expression. “It’s a short speech. It’s nothing, really. It... It was your father’s idea.”

She said that last part apologetically.

So apologetically that it made Evan feel self-conscious, like Paisley had actually been paying enough attention to know that giving a speech of any kind was the last thing he wanted to do.

“Because of the donation,” Paisley continued. Her jaw twitched. “You haven’t heard about that either?”

Evan shook his head. His mind automatically tried to churn out excuses. His father was busy, he was helping rule a country, he had to make sure his family was settling in, he knew that Evan could take care of himself.

He didn’t know if he was imagining it, but he thought he saw a flash of sympathy in Paisley’s eyes.

“He thought it was funny,” Paisley said. “Your father. He laughed when he heard that this was going to be your first official appearance here.”

Evan swallowed sharply. He hadn’t thought about it that way.

“He knows how you feel about sports and the environment and, well...” Paisley’s hand flopped around a bit. “There’s going to be a park.”

“A park?” Evan repeated when she didn’t go on.

“Here,” Paisley nodded. “Well, not here, exactly. On the other side of campus. They’re going to plant trees and make a... a space. A sanctuary. A nature sanctuary to make up for whatever destruction the stadium causes.”

Evan’s throat went dry. “And let me guess, my father donated the money?”

“He arranged for the donation to be made.”

Evan stared at his feet.

Paisley did an awkward hair-nose-chin touch thing. “It makes sense, you see. It shows you care about the environment. Otherwise, this could come back to haunt you years from now. People will look at your first solo appearance and twist it around to say what they want.”

She put a hand on his shoulder and nudged him forward. “So, you’ll stand right here, next to the dean, and you’ll give your speech.” She handed him an index card. “I’ve already drafted it.”

Evan’s eyes glazed over as he tried to focus on the words. 

It was a short speech.

It was barely a speech.

It was three sentences long.

He could do that.

He closed his eyes.

He couldn’t do that.

He put a hand to his forehead. “Is this before or after the kiss?”

“Before,” Paisley said automatically. She tilted her head and frowned. “Or would you prefer after?”

Evan had no idea how to answer that question.

Paisley smiled tightly. Faintly. With more than a hint of sympathy. “Why don’t we take a break? Let’s meet back here in a half hour.”

Evan didn’t need time to process that request.

He hightailed it out of there before she could change her mind.

He glanced over his shoulder when he reached the quad.

Cedric was right behind him.

V was not.

He stopped and leaned back so he could confirm his suspicions.

V was already sitting on the girls’ blanket, beaming like he was the luckiest guy in the world.

Evan turned back around.

His stomach gurgled.

Food. He needed food.

He checked the time. Brunch was still being served in the dining hall. 

That was a weird thought. Welcome and weird.

Welcome because pancakes. Weird because of the number of people who were just waking up.

He wished he was one of them. 

He would’ve been one of them if Paisley hadn’t summoned him at the crack of dawn. He felt like he’d been through an entire day and it wasn’t even twelve. That was just plain wrong.

He grabbed a tray, paused, and traded it for a to-go box, even though that seriously limited his options. 

Pancakes were out. He needed food that travelled well. 

He headed for the bagel section instead.

It wasn’t as crowded as it was during the week (weekends were for pancakes after all), but there was a line. A short one. Just long enough to make him feel self-conscious about the bodyguard standing watch.

That wasn’t necessary.

It was early and people were tired and hungover and too wrapped up in their own lives to pay attention to him.

He was old news.

That was a relief until he remembered the fundraiser.

He could feel it playing across his face.

He lowered his head and stared at his shoes and didn’t look up until Cedric whispered that there was a free toaster.

“Die. Die, die, die, die, you lazy, limp-”

“Limp?” Connor snorted.

Jared flipped him off and paused the game like it was causing him pain. “I couldn’t remember the word I was going for.”

“And limp was the one you came up with?”

“It’s on the tip of my tongue.” Jared stuck out said tongue and glared at the screen. “Maybe my mom’s right. Maybe these games really are killing all my brain cells.”

He snapped his fingers at Evan. “Don’t tell her I said that.”

Evan waved his hand dismissively. He didn’t bother telling Jared he had nothing to worry about.

It wasn’t like he talked to Jared’s mom on a regular basis.

Or ever.

Complimenting her on her latkes once a year was all he could manage.

So, it wasn’t like he was about to go and blab... whatever it was Jared didn’t want him to blab.

He wasn’t entirely sure what that was. It was getting increasingly difficult for him to focus. The last thing he clearly remembered hearing was Jared shouting the word “die” over and over again.

He wasn’t even sure if that had been aimed at Connor or the game or both.

Probably both.

He jumped when he felt the air in the room shift.

The game was still paused.

All eyes were on him.

Jared looked amused. Connor looked concerned.

What else was new?

Jared rubbed his hands together excitedly. “Tonight’s the night.” He threw his head back and launched into what Evan could only imagine was a song from _Bye, Bye Birdie_.

Evan didn’t give him the satisfaction of seeing him react. He kept his head down and tapped his highlighter along the page like he was trying to concentrate.

Like he was totally oblivious to the wailing that was happening in front of him.

That only lasted a minute. A second. Half a verse.

He closed his textbook with a snap and gave Jared a look that screamed, “do you mind?”

Jared did mind. Of course, he did. He kept singing until Connor kicked him.

It wasn’t a hard kick. Just enough to make Jared lose his balance and his place in the song.

He recovered quickly. He focused on Evan and made a point of ignoring Connor. “Are you nervous?” He let out a barking laugh. “Of course, you are. You’re you. I pity the girl who-”

Connor didn’t even try to be subtle that time.

Jared landed on the floor with a thump. He let out an indignant squawk. “Must we resort to violence?”

“Are you going to stop being a dick?” Connor snapped.

Jared sighed heavily. Painfully. Like the idea of not being a dick was causing him great pain. “If I must.”

Connor’s eyes flickered toward Evan. “You look nervous.”

Jared’s whole face lit up. His mouth opened and closed several times before he thought better of it.

Evan opened his book back up. He flipped through the pages until he found his place.

“You can always cancel,” Connor reminded him. “Tell them you’re sick.” He grabbed Evan’s phone off the table and dangled it in front of him. “Call Paisley and tell her you’re-”

Jared snorted.

He didn’t say a word.

He didn’t have to. His face said everything he wanted to say.

“I’ll call her,” Connor offered.

It was a genuine offer.

Because his mind had gone to the same place Jared’s had.

They thought the idea of Evan picking up the phone and calling Paisley and pretending to be sick was ridiculous.

Not ridiculous. Impossible.

Evan hated to think they had a point.

He decided not to focus on that part.

He focused on the part that mattered. “I can’t cancel.”

It sounded like a question. Even he knew that. The words “can I?” were on the tip of his tongue.

Technically, he could. He could cancel. No one was forcing him to do this. He could walk away without having to face any consequences.

Any real consequences. Kai would be disappointed and Jared would sneer and no one would be surprised.

And that was the problem. He didn’t want to be predictable. That kind of predictable. That kind of prince. 

Part of him wanted to go through with the auction because it was something no one actually expected him to do. Something that proved he was more than just a meme people used to express their awkwardness. Something that would show everyone he was just as capable as V.

Everyone including himself.

He didn’t really think participating in the auction would do the trick, but it was worth a shot. 

Especially since the thought of cancelling was getting worse by the second.

He didn’t say that out loud. He tried to keep it from playing across his face.

He was not successful. One look at his friends confirmed that.

Connor was somewhere between confused and concerned.

Jared was smirking and smug and a bunch of other things Evan didn’t want to think about.

He leaned forward so his chin was inches away from Evan’s knee. “Let’s break this down. Are you worried that you aren’t going to raise as much money as V? Are you worried that no one is going to bid on you? Are you-” His leg stretched out defensively before Connor could react. They engaged in a brief but fierce ankle war. “I’m helping!”

“How is that helping?” Connor demanded.

“I’m bringing up all the worst-case scenarios I can think of so we can dissect them and determine how likely they are to happen.” Jared’s mouth twisted to the side. “On a scale of one to ten, I’d put that one at a two. He is a prince after all. That’s gotta be worth something, even if he is still...”

Jared decided not to finish that thought when he saw the way Connor’s foot was twitching. “Are you worried that you’re an ugly kisser?”

Evan’s eyes bulged. That hadn’t occurred to him at all.

“There are going to be cameras everywhere. It’s one thing if you’re a bad kisser. That would just be her word against yours. It’s another thing if you’re an ugly one. Are you worried about becoming another meme?” Jared unzipped his hoodie to show off his APE t-shirt. “And just in time for the holidays. I think I’ll get the boxer shorts next time. Then I can have your face on my butt.”

Evan burst out laughing.

The laughter spilled out of him suddenly, without warning.

It felt amazing.

It was enough to make him forget what was coming.

To almost forget. For a second.

It took Jared more than a second to realize why his friends were cracking up.

A series of whats escaped from his mouth before he finally sputtered that he hadn’t meant it that way.

“And what way is that?” Connor asked in an excessively innocent tone.

Jared flipped him off and reached for his controller. He unpaused the game like it had offended him. “Why won’t you die already?”

“I can’t believe all these people are here to see you!” Jared’s arms flailed around the field for emphasis. He clucked his tongue to show his disgust. 

“They’re not here for me,” Evan said automatically.

A voice in the back of his head told him that wasn’t true. Not entirely. Some of them were there for him. 

Not all of them though.

Definitely not all of them.

He scratched his neck self-consciously.

“Did I tell you about the girl in my math class?” Jared asked. 

Evan paused and then shook his head.

He didn’t think he wanted to know.

“She transferred here because of you. She has this whole fantasy about how she’ll run into you when it’s raining and you’ll give her your jacket and buy her a-”

Connor stopped in his tracks. “She told you that?”

Jared tilted his head. “Que?”

“The girl. She actually said those words.” Connor didn’t bother hiding his amusement. “To you.”

Jared picked at his sleeve. “Not to me, exactly.” He pretended to cough. “Near me.”

“But you heard her say those words?”

Jared made a face. “In a manner of speaking.”

Connor flicked his hand as if to say, _“I rest my case.”_

“Still,” Jared drawled. “That is a thing.” He paused to study Evan. “You know that’s a thing, don’t you? I bet half the girls here are fantasizing about winning the auction and being swept off their feet by Prince Charming.”

Connor raised an eyebrow. “Are you calling Evan Prince Charming?”

“I was talking about V, obviously.” Jared waved his hand at Evan. “He’ll do in a pinch though.”

Connor stopped himself and shook his head. “Too easy...”

Jared pretended not to notice. He pursed his lips and grinned to himself and moved so close to Evan that he almost knocked him into a bush.

“Watch it,” Evan hissed. He brushed a leaf off his arm.

“New plan,” Jared announced. “I need to be seen with you.”

“With me or on me?” Evan yelped. He jumped back when Jared moved closer again.

Connor snorted but didn’t say a word.

“With!” Jared sighed. “Maybe if people see me with you, they’ll... you know.”

He grinned and smirked and hummed suggestively.

It was enough to make Evan’s stomach sink.

“I can’t believe you’re using me to get laid,” Evan muttered.

Jared blanched at the suggestion. “That makes two of us!” He rolled his eyes at the sky. “What is the world coming to?”

“You’d be better off with V,” Connor said.

Evan’s mouth dropped open. 

Jared grinned so hard it hurt. 

“I mean...” Connor shrugged. “You know what I mean.”

Evan knew what he meant.

He kept that to himself.

He let Connor keep digging his grave.

“V’s more into...” Connor’s hand flopped around uncertainly. “He’s... He’s not like you. He’s... you know... more, uh-”

“Normal?” Jared suggested.

Connor narrowed his eyes.

“Better looking? Funnier? Capable of speaking without a million likes and ums and whatever the hell this is?” Jared frantically grabbed at his shirt and his hair and the back of neck. He let his breath out in a huff. “It’s not fair. This whole thing. It’s not fair.”

And there it was.

Evan had known, had seriously suspected, that was how Jared felt.

He’d never expected to hear him say the words out loud though.

He didn’t bother hiding his surprise when he said, “You’re jealous?”

He raised his eyebrows even higher when Jared didn’t respond. “Of me?”

“Of course, I’m jealous of you,” Jared hissed. “Your life’s turning into a freaking Disney movie. You’re one montage away from turning into...”

“Prince Charming?” Connor finished with a grin.

“The bland, vaguely British love interest in a Hallmark movie,” Jared corrected. “The one with a stick up his butt until he sees the girl with a kid or a dog or a pony.”

“A pony?” Connor pretended to look around. “They’re having pony rides over there. We can do a montage right now.” He patted Evan’s arm. “What kind of soundtrack do you want? Eighties, nineties, jazz?” 

He reached for his phone. “I think I have one of Zoe’s songs on here somewhere. The one she-”

“Where are your glasses?” Jared demanded.

Evan automatically reached up to feel his face. “What?”

“Your glasses,” Jared repeated slowly. “Why aren’t you wearing them?”

“I don’t wear glasses.”

Jared stopped in the middle of the sidewalk to stare at him. “Yeah, you do.”

Evan chuckled awkwardly. “No, I don’t.”

Jared looked to Connor for support.

He didn’t get it. Connor was too busy scrolling through his phone to notice.

Jared sighed heavily. “How can we do a montage without your glasses?”

“You mean the glasses that I don’t have?”

Jared rubbed his forehead. “I could’ve sworn you wore glasses. How are we supposed to instantly un-dorkify you without them?”

Evan simply stared.

“Maybe we can do something with your hair.”

Evan jumped away when Jared tried to do just that.

He jumped again when he saw where they were.

He was the only one who seemed surprised.

They were at the stage.

He blinked and tried to figure out how that had happened.

He’d been expecting the walk from their dorm to take longer than that.

He’d been expecting to have more time to panic and fret and mentally rehearse.

He’d been expecting to have the option of fleeing before Paisley spotted him.

Seeing Paisley reminded him about the speech.

He swallowed sharply.

He’d done his best to forget about it, to stop himself from obsessing.

He’d declined Paisley’s offer to help him rehearse. He’d spent the afternoon studying physics and keeping Jared from hitting Connor with his controller.

He’d barely thought about the speech at all.

He breathed in when he saw that Paisley was preoccupied. 

He deflated when he saw that Kai was not.

Kai waved him over. 

Just him.

He jumped when he saw that Connor and Jared were gone.

He tried to spot them in the crowd, but it was impossible. There were too many people and Cedric’s presence made it difficult for him to do a thorough search. He wondered what Cedric would do if he asked him to move out of his way.

He wasn’t curious enough to try.

He took a breath and squared his shoulders and went to join Kai on the edge of the stage.

Kai held out a tin of lip balm when he sat down. It took him a second to grasp what that meant.

He shook his head.

Kai nodded solemnly and pocketed the tin. He smacked his lips together. “I’m up next.”

Evan eyed the booth. 

There were two guys manning it in. The line was significantly longer for one of them than it was for the other.

Neither of them seemed bothered by that.

“You sure you don’t want a turn?” Kai wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

Evan shook his head.

“Coach thinks the auction’s going to bring in the big bucks. He thinks we’re just collecting the chump change.” Kai smiled and straightened himself up a bit. “Alright! Brianna’s here.” He nodded to his left. “Over there.”

Evan looked, even though he hadn’t the faintest clue who Brianna was.

“She said she might drop me a dime.”

“Is that all you’re charging?”

Kai laughed like he’d made a great joke. He clapped Evan on the shoulder. “Okay, time to relieve Raj.” 

He bounced off the stage and strutted over to booth like a wrestler entering the ring.

Several girls cheered, including the one Evan assumed was Brianna.

Kai threw a wink in her direction.

And a thumbs up in Evan’s.

Evan didn’t have time to return it before Kai sat down.

“Where is he?” Paisley hissed into her phone. “How did you lose...”

Her face suddenly went blank. She hung up and grasped her phone so tightly it was a wonder it didn’t break.

There was a moment, a flicker of a moment, where her face said everything she wanted to scream at V.

Evan was the only one who saw it.

She collected herself and spun around to face V and Dominic. “You made it. Good. Are you ready to go on?”

V smiled sheepishly. “Sorry. I lost track of time.”

Paisley smiled like it was no big deal, like she hadn’t just spent the last fifteen minutes panicking about losing a prince. “It’s fine. The dean’s wrapping up. You two are on next.”

Next was an understatement.

She barely got the word out before she started ushering them onto the stage, stopping just short of going up with them.

V went first. He smiled and waved at the crowd and was a picture-perfect Prince Charming.

His smile didn’t falter until he saw that Evan wasn’t with him.

That was Evan’s cue.

He had to go out there.

He had to put one foot in front of the other and move. 

His eyes landed on the microphone. His mark. 

He froze.

He was safe on the side of the stage. It was dark. The spotlight couldn’t find him there. The girls in the front row wearing their APE sweatshirts couldn’t find him there.

No one could find him except Paisley and Cedric and the tech guy with the fanny pack.

And, as luck would have it, his roommates.

Connor reached him first. He didn’t so much reach him as appear at his side without warning.

Evan startled when he saw that. He said the first thing to pop into his head. “You aren’t going to push me out there, are you?”

“Wouldn’t be the first time,” Connor said automatically, without thinking, with regret.

Evan snorted. The sound made Connor smile.

It made the flash of regret that had crossed his face disappear.

“I’ll go,” Jared offered. 

“They don’t want you,” Connor huffed.

“They don’t have to know it’s me. If I take off my glasses and dim the lights...” 

Evan watched in horror as Jared wandered off to find someone who could help him with that.

“I’m on it,” Cole said. He knocked off a quick salute before hurrying after Jared.

He had to jump out of the way to avoid running into Paisley.

Evan swallowed nervously. He didn’t like the look on her face. It was too calm, too collected, too in control.

He glanced over his shoulder.

The dean was prattling on about the stadium and staring into the shadows like he was trying to see what the holdup was.

“It’s okay,” Paisley said tightly. “We have a Plan B.”

“We do?” Evan whispered.

She gestured to something above the dean.

A screen was dropping down.

“Your father recorded a message, just in case.”

Evan closed his eyes.

A mixture of relief and regret washed over him. 

He was glad his father had his back. He hated that it was necessary.

He really hated that his father had known it would be necessary.

He was glad he didn’t have to speak, but that didn’t change anything.

He still didn’t want to go out there.

“Zoe’s in the audience,” Connor told him. “She’ll bid on you if no one else does.”

Evan’s eyes bulged. “That’s supposed to make me feel better?”

“It was either that or Alana,” Connor grinned.

“Layla can bid too,” Ryan offered. 

“You’d be okay with her kissing Evan?” Kai asked.

“Stage kissing.” Ryan tilted his head. “You know how to stage kiss, don’t you?”

“We’ve got nothing,” Seth shrugged. “Not unless Dot’s out there, but this really isn’t her kind of thing and they’re showing _Clueless_ in the student center tonight.”

“Speak for yourself,” Chris snapped. “I know plenty of people. Girl-type people.”

“Name one.”

“I can name more than one.”

Seth rolled his eyes. “Our girl-type people aren’t here. They’re in Amber’s room watching _Doctor Who_. Which is why we have nothing.”

Chris blinked at the stage. “I can text Dot. She’s boycotting the show.”

Kai clapped Evan on the shoulder. “I’ve got this.”

That was all he said.

It was enough.

Evan stumbled out onto the stage before he could change his mind.

The crowd went wild.

Sort of.

There were more cheers than he’d been expecting.

He flew to V’s side like they were magnets.

“You okay?” V asked between his teeth.

He really had the smiling thing down pat.

Evan gave a slight nod.

V tugged him over to the side when his father’s video message started to play.

The recording was short. Short and sweet. 

His father winked when he talked about how much their family loved trees.

And then it was over.

The screen went back up. The emcee took his place.

Evan’s heart skipped a beat.

He knew what that meant.

The auction was about to start.

V went first.

Evan regretted that decision right away.

Going after V was a mistake.

He knew that before V got into the swing of things, before he really started working the crowd.

The numbers kept climbing.

People really wanted to kiss V.

People as in guys and girls.

V seemed thrilled about them all.

The winning bid was over a thousand dollars. The girl who made it leapt onto the stage and threw her arms around V before the emcee had finishing calling it.

Evan didn’t watch the kiss.

He watched the crowd.

For the first time since he’d taken the stage, he watched the crowd.

He ignored the APE shirts and hats. He ignored the posters and phones. He pretended that no one was taking his picture or recording him.

He spotted his friends to the right of the stage.

Jared had been located. He did not look happy about that.

The rest of them smiled and nodded to show their encouragement.

Zoe waved at him and motioned that she was ready to bid.

Layla did too.

Alana did not.

Evan’s heart sped up when he spotted her. He hadn’t known she was coming. The auction didn’t seem like her kind of thing.

The fundraiser did. 

The emcee started speaking before he could dwell on that.

He stepped forward automatically.

The light was blinding. The crowd was overwhelming. He focused on a spot in the back.

He really focused when he realized what he was focusing on.

Connor was standing back there, behind the crowd, on a box or something that put him above them. 

He was swinging a pine air freshener like he was a hypnotist.

It made Evan laugh, which made him smile, which made the whole thing more bearable.

He focused on the shadowy figure that was his best friend. He watched Connor’s hands, his face, the light that kept dancing across him. He ignored the numbers that were being shouted out by people who weren’t Zoe or Layla or Kai’s friends.

He didn’t work the crowd like V had. He just stood there.

Somehow it was enough.

The bids kept flying in.

The crowd fell silent when the emcee finally banged his gavel.

It took Evan a second to wrap his head around that, to process the final number. 

Three thousand.

The winning bid was three thousand dollars.

He really should’ve taken a dab of Kai’s lip balm.

He couldn’t focus. He barely saw the winner until she was right in front of him.

The kiss was short and stiff. He didn’t use his tongue.

Neither did she, thankfully.

It definitely wasn’t worth three thousand dollars. 

It wasn’t even worth three hundred.

Or three.

He felt like he owed her something.

Her name.

The least he could do was ask what her name was.

He managed to form the words.

At least he thought he did. It was hard to tell with all the noise.

The girl looked at him strangely. 

And then she laughed. “Tracy.”

“Nice to meet you, Tracy. I’m Evan.”

“I know,” Tracy smiled.

He didn’t know what else to say. His part was done. She’d won a kiss, not a conversation.

She opened her mouth like she was going to say something else. And then, just like that, she changed her mind.

She turned on her heel and ran off the stage.

Evan didn’t have time to wonder what that was about.

Paisley was waiting. Cedric was drawing near.

His friends were watching him to see if he was coming.

He shrugged to tell them he wasn’t sure. He knew Paisley would want to debrief them and he wasn’t sure how long that would take.

V reached him first. “I think that went well, don’t you?”

Evan wasn’t sure ‘well’ was the word he would’ve chosen. He nodded anyway.

“I liked mine. I gave her my number.”

Evan glanced over his shoulder. It hadn’t occurred to him to give Tracy his.

V leaned forward to show him his phone. “She’s cute, isn’t she?”

People were already posting pictures.

Of course, they were.

The ones of V were good. He really looked the part.

The ones of Evan were...

He choked on his spit.

He barely recognized himself.

He grabbed his phone to confirm V hadn’t pulled up the wrong page.

“That thing you were doing up there with your face...” V shook his head. “You looked so... I don’t know. I should’ve done that. I look like a clown.”

Evan rubbed his eyes.

In a good way.

He barely recognized himself in a good way.

Even the kiss looked good. 

Apparently, he wasn’t an ugly kisser after all.

“I bet this is going to blow up,” V said. “Those pictures are going to be everywhere. Like everywhere-everywhere. You’re going to be on some girl’s wall.” 

Evan wasn’t sure if he liked the sound of that.

On second thought, he knew he didn’t like the sound of that.

It was too much. He couldn’t handle that kind of pressure.

He couldn't handle being some girl's idea of Prince Charming.

He tried to look on the bright side.

He was fairly certain Jared wouldn’t want to wear any of those pictures on his butt.

Fairly being the keyword.


End file.
